k2quit Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Hi, sorry for my long post. ok am new here and am desperate...to get to the point...I want to leave my husband but I don't know if it is right and at the same time I don't have anywhere to go so am stuck. We dated for 6 years and have been married for a year. We don't have kids yet. I have never ever been happy with my DH, he's a very nice guy, he makes me feel comfortable, but that's it! when we met he was addicted to porn and masturbating. I was not into the idea but decided to join him so that I don't feel bad about it, so we could watch together but after afew months he started hiding it from me long story short, he told me he had stopped and wanted to concentrate on me. But all that was a lie he continued doing that behind my back and has been all through. He denies it even if I walk in on him...yes he's a big LIAR. Ok it get's worse...when in bed, he does not want to give me foreplay at all...if I tell him am not ready yet he tells me to forget about it... I've tried so many times to talk to him about it but whenever we get to talk intimate stuff, he either keeps quiet or gets annoyed. He rarely comes onto me, and most of the time I initiate anything, he tells me that he's tired but then wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to masterbate!! this really kills me! He gets really mad when I walk in on him masturbating, so in short he has his private life which i've tried to address but all in vain. I try to tell him that maybe he could tell me then what he wants me to do to him sexually but he refuses. Well I used to imagine that maybe he's not the type who likes dirty talk or sexy talk but to my surprise sometime last year I found tons of sexy emails to some women. I confronted him about it of course he denied it, until i printed them out and showed him proof then he apologized. I forgave him and have been trusting him all a long, but just resently his cold behavior towards me has gone beyond, so I did my investigations and found more emails one as recent as yesterday and still he denied. Of course I showed him the evidence and he decides to continue lying....he keeps asking me what I know so that he can apologize for what I know and not what I don't know. I know there's something going on between him and his ex just not so sure though he says they are just friends but he can't talk to her when am there and I found out he told her that he's single. long story short...I feel like he does not me at all and my self esteem has hit bottom. I feel so lonely and so sad. I wanna leave but we are in a different country, I don't have anywhere to go, no friends no relatives, no job and no car...what can I do?
tojaz Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Have you considered counseling for him, it sounds like some sort of addiction or something. How is the rest of your marriage outside the bedroom? TOJAZ
girl68 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 He's been busted cheating at least 2 times yet he makes you feel "comfortable"? Really? Because for me that would make my stomache turn each and every time I saw him on the computer... and that is not a "comfortable feeling".
LisaUk Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 This is a difficult situation, has he cheated or not? Re the sex activies I think maybe a trip to a therapist that deals with sexual relationships in particular as well as couples therapy, a sex therapist would be where to start. If he won't go with you, go alone and seek their advice.
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