Battlewax Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 This has been one of the weirdest break ups for me. None of the usual arguing fighting etc. We split up on semi good terms. I say semi because I didn't want to. We didn't talk for several weeks after the break up, then we hung out one Sunday, just to bs. Didn't talk for an entire while, then weekend before last we did something on Friday, that didn't go well. I had to work on Saturday night, she came up to see me. Then we did lunch on Sunday. We haven't spoken much other than a text last week saying she had run into my ex wife (who I'm friends with) I just responded with, “cool” That was the first time she actually initiated contact, I don't think she knows how to do it very well. LOL. Last night I went out on a semi-date with this woman I met about a week ago. I had the best time hanging out with her, the ex popped into my head early, but as the night went on I thought less and less about the ex. When I dropped her off, I had pretty much forgotten the ex. Couple that with a reply to a missed connection on craigs list and I slept well. To some it may come as common knowledge, but to me it's something I just learned. I keep reading about how people are hurt because their ex got into a relationship so quickly after the break up. It's not they didn't care. They did (for the most part) but being with somebody knew replaces a lot of the pain and heartache. I dunno, I guess I just figured it out and had to say something. Just because you aren't open to a relationship doesn't mean you can't get out there and just hang out with somebody. It's a true confidence boost.
asuman Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I'm wary of doing that. I have opportunities to do so right now, so I'm dabbling. But for the most part, I have a fear that my desire to "get over it" will cause me to think I'm falling for someone I'm out with, which only lead to more complications when I realize that I never felt for the new girl after all. Everyone has their individual style when it comes to this issue. Mine is to lay low and give myself some time off from girls for a while, before going back in. But if this works for you, more power to you.
Author Battlewax Posted July 6, 2009 Author Posted July 6, 2009 Well to be honest, I am going in with the thought that there is no what in hell I'd be able to have a successful relationship right now. I do miss contact and intimacy, granted I'm not sleeping with her but it's nice to have companionship. It's nice to know you are still wanted, it's good for the ego.
now_what Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I think I feel the same way - I just want some companionship. I'm not looking for a relationship. After being rejected after over 30 years together, just for someone to think I might be worth talking to and getting to know might just be the ego burst I need.
sedgwick Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I would LOVE to go out -- well, I'd love to be ASKED out. But in the two years since he left me, nobody's shown even the slightest bit of interest. I really do feel like he left and just took my sexuality with him. Basically now I'm just at the point of trying to figure out how to be happy alone.
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