tcd09 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I was going out with my ex for 8 months. We broke up at beginning of April (she ended it) and I hadn't really made the effort required. The problem was I had all these doubts in my head about her as some things happened when we were together that I was not happy with. Between Christmas and New Year my ex stormed out of My Dads party as she had accessed my mobile phone and noticed I had received a text from my ex - which she did not read (we split up over 3 years ago but are still friends - see each other maybe twice a year max to catch up). I was furious about this she had trust issues - despite the fact I had told her we were still friends - why should I hide it? I ended up breaking up a few days later due to how hurt I was she didn't trust me and then we got back together. Then in February (and on the day of her Dads 7 year anniversary of his death I might add) we broke up again. We met in a pub and she asked me what I was feeling about the relationship. I had a lot of sh*t going on with my personal life - my brother is quite ill - and I couldn't take it and stormed out of the pub we were in. We again got back togehter as we both loved each other. Then at end of March I went to her flat for dinner and was feeling very down that night due to thinking about my brother and financial problems at home and I said I was going to go to bed. I should have cuddled into her that night and said I was sorry but I didn't and feel asleep. If only I could go back to that night and change that. The next morning I got up, had a shower and when I kissed her goodbye before going to work she said there was a bag in her hall for me and it was a giant easter egg. I wanted to cry but I said "thank you" and left. We then exchanged a few "how are you? etc texts over the next couple of days and then I received a text from her saying "I think we should break up as we aren't getting on...". I replied "fine" as I was hurt she initiated this by text and also the way I had been I felt I deserved it. So 4 weeks went by with no contact and then I contacted her saying "Hi. I probably shouldn't be doing this but wanted to say hi and see how you are doing". She replied saying she was doing good and had a new man. I was completely devestated as I still loved her very much and had missed her a great deal. I then learned she had started to see this new guy within 2 weeks of us splitting up and that hurt a great deal also. We genuinely loved each other and I just made a total mess of it. I tried and tried and tried to get her back by calling, texting and e-mailing and not only did that push her further away but she now can't stand me for how I reacted to the situation and she said I had "no dignity". I said she was stupid (I know, a mistake) as I couldn't get past her saying she couldn't trust me again and would always be paranoid I would get doubts again but I love her so much and I have learnt just what I had. She is now in a relationship with this new guy and in reply to my e-mail I sent her calling her "stupid" she said her new man was "more of a man than I will ever be", had a big motorbike, a car and his own place (I am back at home just now temporarily) and I was hurt and shocked by this. I mean, how shallow? I sent her another text a week later apologising for what i said and didn't want us to be enemies and she just said she meant everything she said in her e-mail from the previous week. I am saddened to the core that it has turned out like this as I had a real opportunity for happiness and I blew it. Why is it sometimes we only learn what we had when it is gone. I am crushed. I won't ever be contacting her again now but she has started to post on my friends facebook site now occasionally (which I can read) and this hurts also - she only met him twice for god sake...! I just want to forget about her now as I realise I blew it but when I see her posts on facebook it just reminds me of what I lost. :-(
ratingsguy Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 It sounds to me that this breakup is the result of a lot of things: bad timing with respect to family illness and financial problems, trust issues, and what appears to be her childish behavior which became evident following the breakup (and in how she broke up with you, too). An opportunity lost? Perhaps. This could have worked maybe, but the timing was completely off I think. You tried to get her back, but she isn't biting. My advice is to go NC. If she misses you enough, she'll come back once she's realized what she's lost. If not, it wasn't meant to be. Time to move on. Best of luck to you.
Author tcd09 Posted July 6, 2009 Author Posted July 6, 2009 Yes, it is proving really difficult. Her comments she made about her new guy really shocked me. If she honestly believes this - her text a wek after her e-mail implies she does then I am better off out of it and that is a fact I grasp on to. I can't help loving the girl but you are right about NC being the only way to go on this one. Nearly 4 weeks now and I feel much better than when I was trying to win her back. Time will tell here but I know it's over and I just hope I meet another girl that I fall for and I don't mess that one up.
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