hokusai86 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 my story: fell for my best friend. too nervous to tell her. she fell for me, but too nervous to tell me. some other dude asks her out (or maybe they just started hooking up) and then i tell her the truth. she reveals her feelings but won't leave boyfriend coz his last girl 'screwed him over'. so i stop talking to her, but she always texts me. did a group get together last week and i am a little standoffish. she texts the next night asking how i am and suggests we hang out, i.e just the two of us. i said when i finish up some work i'm doing. a week has now passed. SO my girl friends thought the text was a sign that she has broken up with the dude, they thought it was an obvious signal. BUT other sources suggest that they haven't split. they've been going out for months now, why does she want to hang out with me all of a sudden? BUT YES!! NC works for some reason. i know i wouldn't be seeing these 'results' if i was contacting her every few days like i used to when we were 'just friends'.
CaliGuy Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 my story: fell for my best friend. too nervous to tell her. she fell for me, but too nervous to tell me. some other dude asks her out (or maybe they just started hooking up) and then i tell her the truth. she reveals her feelings but won't leave boyfriend coz his last girl 'screwed him over'. so i stop talking to her, but she always texts me. did a group get together last week and i am a little standoffish. she texts the next night asking how i am and suggests we hang out, i.e just the two of us. i said when i finish up some work i'm doing. a week has now passed. SO my girl friends thought the text was a sign that she has broken up with the dude, they thought it was an obvious signal. BUT other sources suggest that they haven't split. they've been going out for months now, why does she want to hang out with me all of a sudden? BUT YES!! NC works for some reason. i know i wouldn't be seeing these 'results' if i was contacting her every few days like i used to when we were 'just friends'. So let me get this straight. 1. You had "secret" feelings for this girl, but didn't tell her. 2. She had "secret" feelings for you, but she didn't tell you. 3. You didn't tell her about your feelings for her until AFTER she started dating someone. Do I have this correct? If so, what's the problem?! If you want to hang out with her but you can't because you have feelings for her, then don't. If you can handle being friends with her while she is dating someone else, then go for it. Personally I don't see why you are implementing NC. I think this is one of those situations where LC is better. You never dated her so going complete NC wouldn't make sense unless you simply can't handle talking to her without acting like a door mat. In that case I'd say yeah, stay away from any contact.
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