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I worry about my preferences


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Posted

I'm 25 and mostly attracted to younger men -- 19-23.

 

It's partly a physical thing: I like boyish faces. I'm also guilty of romanticizing youth. The eyes of handsome, intelligent young men seem so full of potential and life; it almost gives me a rush looking into them. I like that their identities aren't completely defined and that they're not usually carrying around a ton of baggage.

 

As I get older will my age preferences naturally readjust? I'd hate to turn into some creepy cougar. It concerns me that I rarely find men over thirty especially attractive, even if they're good looking. Somehow they just look spent and past prime to me. Of course this thinking is irrational and unhealthy, but there it is. Is it possible to change what you're attracted to? If there's a way, I'll give it a real shot.

 

Btw, I don't mean to offend older guys with this post.

 

Any insight from people who have experienced similar problems? Were you able to change your preferences?

Posted

Theirs simply nothing wrong with being attracted to younger men. Look at Hollywood right now. Hugh Jackman's wife is older then him. Mariah Carey's husband is younger then him. Maturity is not based on the physical aspects rather it is based on the mental and emotional aspect. Just make sure that if you ever ended up with a younger men, he's the kind of guy whose outgrown the dating scene and is more centered in commitment and someday a family.

Posted

Don't worry about it Shadowplay, your age preferences aren't so off from your own age.

 

I preferred younger guys for a long time. For a while, I was consistently attracted to under 25 year olds in my late 20s. Then all the sudden when I hit 30, the maturity gap between a 25-year-old guy and a 35-year-old guy really became apparent.

 

I like boyish, too, but now I just look for that type of essence in a person, rather than physical appearance. Trust me, older guys will start to look sexy to you at some point!

Posted

Look at someone like Hugh Laurie. He's old, but it's evident that he has a youthful "spark" to him still. He doesn't come off jaded or spent at all and I think that's part of the reason why women love him.

 

In contrast, a guy like Brad Pitt seems to have lost his spark, despite being ten years younger, and I think it's probably partially because he was idolized for his looks so much in his youth. Sure, Laurie's a good looking guy, but he has a boyish personality as well as boyish looks.

 

FWIW, I too prefer the boyish look overall, but then again I am going on 23, so I'm not exactly ready for the over-30 crowd. :)

Posted

We are past our prime and spent

 

Its easy to romanticize youth because youth is beautiful, it takes a certain perspective to romanticize decay

Posted
I'm 25 and mostly attracted to younger men -- 19-23.

most people under the age of 30 are still children.

Posted

Actually, a lot of 25-30 year old men look extremely young still. I'm not sure why 19-23 is looking better to you. I wouldn't date over 30 but I still find many over 30 men very hot.

Posted
We are past our prime and spent

 

Its easy to romanticize youth because youth is beautiful, it takes a certain perspective to romanticize decay

 

:love:

 

Everyone is decayed. What's a little more or a little less to people?

Posted
Actually, a lot of 25-30 year old men look extremely young still. I'm not sure why 19-23 is looking better to you. I wouldn't date over 30 but I still find many over 30 men very hot.

19-23 is code for 14-19

Posted
19-23 is code for 14-19

 

hee hee. I admit to occasionally seeing a cute high schooler or early college guy around and about, but it's not like I would want to date them. Not just because it's illegal, but also because that degree of innocence isn't appealing to me in a romantic sense.

Posted
hee hee. I admit to occasionally seeing a cute high schooler or early college guy around and about, but it's not like I would want to date them. Not just because it's illegal, but also because that degree of innocence isn't appealing to me in a romantic sense.

 

You should see some of the high school boys in their cute little private school uniforms around where I work...:laugh::sick:

Posted

Shadow, I think when you meet a guy that's protective, has his crap together and yet exudes a vibrant, optimistic spirit, you won't care if he has a couple lines around his eyes or not. I think it will be okay.

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