Encouraging Article For People Thinking About Breaking Up Just Because of Distance?

[Hoosier09]

I'm sorry to post again...but you guys help so much.

 

My gf and I have had a rough time being separated after being 6 months together. (Before we had only been together 10 days-3 weeks) We have something amazing but at the moment, she is crushed because of the distance. I can see her every 3 months ish but she says she just needs me there.

 

To me, if she loves me that much, having me there 1/3 of the year for this hard time is much better than letting me go altogether. At the moment, I've gone LC with her so that she can think but I would like to have some encouraging things to say when we have a "decision talk."

 

I am just trying to find an encouraging article somewhere for her to read that tells her what to think about before breaking up because of distance and to give her encouragement.

 

Can you guys could help me find an article or just say.....I would not break up with my SO because of the distance because........and list the reasons that keep you going. You can be funny...super serious...sweet...everything.

 

 

 

I'll start. I would not break up with my SO because of the distance because I know that we love each other, and to me it is better to try something and regret it rather than wonder what could have been.

 

 

 

This could make or break us so give it your best shot I owe you guys.

[hoping2heal]

Hoosier,

 

If your girlfriend could not reach the conclusion on her own, that it is worth it to stay in the LDR, I really don't think an article is going to change that. Relationships can go through very intense stressors, and it's cliche to say, but only the strong survive. No one enjoys the down times, the tough times. No one, in any relationship enjoys that. Yet every relationship faces it in some form or the other. The strong relationships make it through, the weak ones crumble and believe it or not it's for the best.

 

I say that, because it's better to realise you have a partner who either isn't at the place yet in their life, or doesn't have it in them to withstand the tough real life stuff.Otherwise, you may go on having what seems like a wonderful relationship, for a long long time, then one day storms come along and KA BOOM. It happens. It's easy to love, when love is easy. Everyone is capable of partaking in something that comes simply and brings joy. Not everyone however, is capable of working towards the goal of unity and restored joy, once certain stressors in life hit. Such as LDR's for example.

 

It's better you know that now, then have the rug pulled out from under you later.

[Island Girl]

I can post inspiring and wonderful stuff just like just about everybody here in the LDR forum.

 

But what YOU say during that decision talk isn't going to matter.

What SHE says will.

You should just be listening.

 

It isn't that I don't want to help. I do. But what you think will help and what will help are two different things.

 

The reason my husband and I have stayed together through distance and various challenges is because we are committed - NO MATTER WHAT.

 

That alone carries us.

It carries us while we are each alone and can't hold each other, see each other, touch each other, or look into one another's eyes.

It carries us while we are together in heart, mind, and spirit and cancels out questions, insecurities, and doubts so that even if we can't communicate for days we are still sure of each other across the miles and seemingly endless nights/days.

 

Our relationship is fantastic but it took a lot to get it where it is today and we BOTH worked at it every day for over 8 years.

At no point did one of us beg the other to stay in it.

If we had gotten to that point I believe we'd be over.

He knows he is a catch and would not beg anyone -even me - to stay with him if I was "on the fence".

I feel the same way. I wouldn't have someone - or dedicate myself to someone who doesn't know how lucky he is to have me.

 

He is Mr. Wonderful - My King Forever.

And I know without a doubt I am his Queen Forever.

 

I do not feel that way because he "convinced" me of it.

He has shown me because of who he is and always has been day after day.

As long as he is holding on I will too.

 

You can not make another see you are invaluable in their life. You can not provide a list of "pros" to outweigh the "cons" she is thinking of.

It won't work.

You can't convince someone how great a relationship is or how good you are together. THEY have to feel it and believe it.

 

The best thing you can do is let her see what life is like without you -- completely without you -- if it comes down to a break up.

 

If it were me I wouldn't have done LC. It just allows her doses of you and in a sense weans her off of you and contact with you.

 

I do hope you get your answer soon. Limbo has got to be a hell of a place to be.