Take the Chance or No??

[XOXO13]

Please help! I'm so confused!!

 

I've been working with this guy for about 2 1/2 years now. We instantly became good friends when I started with the company. Last year around this time we even started seeing other (I wouldn't consider it dating though)... Then outta no where he decides he wants to be "honest" with me and tell me he's talking to 2 other girls and also that he felt pressured by me because he sensed that I wanted a relationship. Next thing I know he dropped me like a bad habit by Sept/Oct 2008. I was pissed because he didnt even have the decency to discuss this with me... he just assumed and called it quits. And again... We WORK together.. so talk about making things awkward! F* my life!

(BTW: I'm 27 and he's 35... I'm a single mom of 3yr old son who takes up a great deal of my time... so he knew my time was precious)

 

So, time goes by, I never really spoke to him unless it was about work related issues... I was never rude or anything... just hurt. But, basically I just pretended like he didnt even exist. No one at work knew what was going on either.

 

To my surprise, April 2009, he starts trying to make small talk with me, sending me texts, and even starts asking me out again. I confusingly confront him on his "Change of heart" decision, and he responds by saying its not a change of heart, his feelings have always been there for me. But he backed off before because he wasnt ready for a relationship. (FYI: Apr 2008, is when my ex/baby daddy and I broke up). I told him if he had bothered to actually communicate and talk with me like people should do... then he would know that I wasnt looking to hop back into another realtionship since I pretty much had just gotten out of one at the time. So after we cleared some things up he asked for a second chance. I decided to let him sweat it out for a week because I really needed to think about it.. but I'm a sucker and forgive easily, so I let him take me out on a real date. Since then, in the back of my mind, I havent forgotten how he pretty much dismissed me before. I've been very guarded and scared that he might do something like that again to me.

 

Deep down, he's a really good guy... Really sweet and caring, a real gentleman. I really think he's just a commitment-phobe. I do see a bright happy future between the two of us later down the road... but of course its easier to dream about later, rather then think logically about the present and near-future.

 

We've been officially dating for only 1 month now. But I feel like we've already had so many issues come up already.. I dont even know if its worth risking my heart again. Also, the last time I saw him, before he went out of town, he mentioned that I'm the only one he's dating and he doesnt wanna date anyone else. But he cannot be 100% committed to me right now.. meaning bf/gf. But he did say we are 'exclusively' dating.

 

Seriously.... WTF is that suppose to mean!? I dont get it?

 

 

Here are the thoughts that are bouncing back and forth through my head:

 

#1: I'm overreacting... and yes it has only been 1 month since we

started really dating.. I need to chill and just take my time... Dont

think too much into this... Slowly let my guard down and let him in

when the time is right

 

OR

 

#2: Drop his ass... Its too complicated... Keep this in the "friend" zone...

It's not like I'm some random girl he met at a bar or met through a

friend... He's known me for awhile and he should know what he wants

with me by now.

 

So, basically... the BIG question is...

Should I take the chance and see what could possibly happen (Does it sound like theres hope?), or

Stop it all now before someone gets hurts (How many red flags did you readers notice?)??

 

**Please Guys & Girls... Any advice would be greatly appreciated**

***Positive or negative feedback***

[white milk]

"But he cannot be 100% committed to me right now.. meaning bf/gf. But he did say we are 'exclusively' dating."

 

 

i think he doesnt see you as a challenge, he might see you as someone he has in his back pocket, don't let him do it to you. if you don't agree with the way he's looking at it then tell him you want to go back to how it was (just friends). however if your sincerely ok with it thats another story.

have self respect and be your self no games at all, and if he falls into place thats all you could ask.

[XOXO13]

"But he cannot be 100% committed to me right now.. meaning bf/gf. But he did say we are 'exclusively' dating."

 

 

i think he doesnt see you as a challenge, he might see you as someone he has in his back pocket, don't let him do it to you. if you don't agree with the way he's looking at it then tell him you want to go back to how it was (just friends). however if your sincerely ok with it thats another story.

have self respect and be your self no games at all, and if he falls into place thats all you could ask.

 

I did fail to mention that he said he can't be 100% committed because the next girl he does have a serious relationship with (gf/bf status) is the girl he hopes to marry and settle down with.

[SoulSearch_CO]

He's just not that into you. Good book - and highly applicable in this situation. I'm sorry. I think you deserve much better than this clown - drop him.

[XOXO13]

He's just not that into you. Good book - and highly applicable in this situation. I'm sorry. I think you deserve much better than this clown - drop him.

 

 

Hahah.. funny that you mentioned that... because I just saw the movie and I really was trying to apply that to my situation! LOL