Why does a couple want to be a couple? What keeps them together?

[mammax3]

An individuals needs should be met by the individual, not a significant other.

 

Is this an accurate statement?

What do we 'get' from our partners, then? What do we 'give' our partners? How does one know their value in a relationship without knowing why the partner wants to be with them?

 

Perhaps a healthy relationship isn't based on the social exchange theory, but something else?

 

I'm trying to explore a healthy, non-manipulative relationship and I'm not too sure what it looks like, how individuals interact, what the basis of the relationship is...

 

I'm trying to glean from other posts but if there is an easier way to capture your thoughts I'd appreciate hearing them here.

 

Thanks.

[Lauriebell82]

Hmm, well to me a healthy relationship is one that includes mutual respect, trust, love, compromise, and NOT conflict free. The key is to resolve the conflict without it leading to yelling, screaming, hitting, ect.

 

As far as what keeps them together, it depends on what kind of couple you are talking about. Unhappy couples stay together, as well as happy couples.

 

I don't know if I answered your question, but do a google or yahoo search for "healthy romantic relationships" and you may get some more info on the subject. LS isn't always the best place to gather that type of knowledge.

[Isolde]

I do believe it's a combination of basic compatibility plus shared experiences; in other words, intrinsic as well as extrinsic factors.

 

The ratio will vary. For example, I've got platonic friends I choose to keep up with because I've had lots of good times with them and hence a shared background of sorts; I've also got friends I keep up with more because we have similar personalities or values. In this sense, dating and friendship aren't that different. There's got to be a mutual choice to keep the relationship going.

[Thornton]

There are some needs that cannot be met by the individual... for example, people enjoy companionship and sex, which requires another person to be around. People also find it easier to buy a house and raise a family as a couple, sharing expenses and responsibilities etc. A partner also provides support in case of difficult circumstances such as illness or redundancy, so they provide you with security, as well as emotional support when required. I think the ideal relationship is a close friendship between two people who trust and support each other through life, and who also happen to have a physical relationship.

 

In addition to this, many women (and I include myself in that number) don't feel secure in their homes at night without a big strong guy around. One night some guy tried to get into my house at 2am and he was beating on my door and windows... I had to call my Dad (who lives nearby) to come and chase him away, and I got a knife to protect myself and hid in the hall cupboard until my Dad had scared him off. Apparently he was just some drunkard who got the wrong house, but I was terrified... I'm a tiny little girl and I wished I had a big strong husband to protect me.