Sweetcheripie Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 My son (18), my daughter (almost 16) and I have a trip to Ireland planned - we are all super excited. History: Their father and I divorced almost 16 years ago. My daughter was only about 5 months old when he moved out and she has never bonded with him. When she was little she hated going over there. My son and his father bonded with sports stuff but my daughter always felt left out. So, at the beginning of this year when a bunch of other family stuff blew up she decided she wanted nothing more to do with her Dad. He is an alcoholic and retired late last year and the drinking became a lot worse. He is mean and she just decided the teasing and verbal abuse was enough. She went to a therapist and broke all contact with her Dad. Her dad was angry but called me about child support because he felt it wasn't fair that he had to pay for a girl that didn't respect him and want to see him- I said I would sign a child modification and he wouldn't have to pay anymore (after years of fighting I knew this was the best way for me to support my daughter and get him out of her life) Since then (january) she hasn't had any contact with him. He has texted her twice and sent the creepiest Valentine card ever but that is it. After we bought the tickets for the trip the Travel Agent sent a package of information and said that we needed my daughter's father to sign a notarized consent for her to travel out of the country. Her father won't sign it unless she calls him. He absolutely refuses. Without his signature she cannot go. The answer is easy - she needs to call him but she is just so nervous. She doesn't want to at all. Any suggestions?
Trimmer Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 Do some research and find out what the actual, legal requirement is in order for her to travel with you. Could it be that the "Notarized consent" that they suggest is overkill to cover any possible situation, but that since you have sole custody, it may be easier. I'm the last one to say "I saw it on the internet, so it must be true..." but I did some looking around and found one article on Mexico travel that says, yes, you need the "other" parent's permission, but it also goes on to say: "If one parent has sole custody of the child, a court order must be presented." So see, maybe there are some alternatives if you have sole custody and he has no legal standing anyway... Talk to a divorce/family lawyer and see if he/she can suggest an alternate document (possibly simply your custody decree/order) that is sufficiently "official", and documents that the father is not in a position of custody or decision making. Later edit: I don't want to post the URL directly, but do a google search on the following: "Single Parent Traveling" minor "special circumstances" and look at the link for "jmtravel" (no ads on that page...) They suggest contacting the consulate of the destination country, and establishing if they will accept other documentation, e.g. a court order of sole custody. Then make sure you get that person's name, title, telephone number, etc. and bring all of that with you as part of your documentation package. Again, this is just one random web page, but do some research...
Author Sweetcheripie Posted July 5, 2009 Author Posted July 5, 2009 Thanks Trimmer! That is really helpful info!
Author Sweetcheripie Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 YAY! Thought I'd give a little update. We are going. Although I have full physical custody - legal custody is still 50/50 so it wasn't looking so good. But went to the Atty yesterday and he was awesome. Because her dad is not paying child support, the atty put together what he would owe in child support, attys fees etc if we went to court to have a judge make him sign the travel documents. We were all prepared to file the paperwork this morning but my son made one last attempt and went over and had a heart to heart with his dad explaining if he really wants to repair the relationship with his daughter pissing her off wasn't a good approach. So he went with my son and had it notarized. I'm so proud of my kids and really thankful and very excited about our trip!
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