miguzi54 Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 i have been dating this girl for ten months, and we go great together. but i find myself having trouble trusting her. a few months ago, i found out that she was talking to her ex on the phone almost daily, and i found out before that she went snowmobiling with him, when she was "ice fishing with the family". and at the beginning of our relationship, i got her so upset that she went to his house in the middle of the night to "talk". the next day i found pictures on her phone of two laughing and smiling people. she claims that he was her friend, and after a two year relationship, she can't just give that up....even though he treated her like ****. i am confident that she didn't cheat on me, but after that i have trouble believing what she says. how can i trust her again? or what should i do?
lora22 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I'd be having trust issues if I were you too. This girl is wicked shady. She's a liar. You CAN'T trust her. I would dump her. Would like to add: You're probably thinking "Oh, easy for you to say." So I'd just like to point out I was in a sorta kinda similar situation (the first thread I posted on this site was about it if you want to read it), and I did break up with my bf.
Bryanp Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 You judge a person by their actions and not by their words. Her actions show her to be a liar and very sneaky. She has no problems lying to your face. What does that tell you?
whichwayisup Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 If this guy was "just" a friend now, you should have met him by now. Why not ask her to meet him? Watch her reaction.. I mean, if there's absolutely NOTHING going on, then it shouldn't be a big deal, right?
whichwayisup Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 She may not be back with him in a sexual way, but she may still have feelings of attachment for him, and that's not good for your relationship with her, or her feelings for you. Either way, she sooner or later needs to cut him out her life and keep him arms length apart. Ask her how SHE would feel if you had an ex in your life that you still saw and spoke to often, was including in family gatherings, and you had 'fun' pictures of you two together. I bet your girlfriend wouldn't be happy about it at all.
lora22 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Personally, I don't think it matters if she cheated on you or not, or how she feels about this other guy. I think it matters that she lied. And it's not like it was only once. That's disrespectful.
RunawayTrain Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 This girl is not to be trusted as evident by her actions. Period.
Author miguzi54 Posted July 9, 2009 Author Posted July 9, 2009 this happened a few months ago. and when i found out, i told her that she had to make a choice, him or me. and she chose me, and has since stopped talking to him. but its since then that im having trouble.
Quest Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 If you say she's changed since you confronted her with how you felt, then that's good. Of course you're not going to instantly trust her again - IMHO that isn't a bad thing, just sensible. Trust is earned and she lost some behaving as she did. If you really want her you're just going to have to wait and see how she behaves over the next while. If the same stuff comes up again then it would probably best to get out - for good. But if she's really changed you'll know that after a while and maybe it will strengthen your relationship in the longterm. One thing, though, is that I'd trust your instincts ... if you FEEL something isn't right, it often isn't, even if you can't put your finger on what it is exactly. Just be alert. But, unfortunately, there's no substitute for waiting this one out! Good luck.
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