lesoiseaux Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Have you ever been talking to your SO and just started running away with your emotions? I feel like that just happened to me and I can't even wrap my head around what happened. I just talked to my boyfriend on the phone. We usually Skype every night, but recently I have been calling during the daytime as well because I am back at our university for summer school (he's still in his hometown) and my surroundings just remind me of him. So I asked him if I had been calling too much recently, and for him to reply honestly, and he said that I'm calling "more than he would expect" but that it's okay because he knows I'm "adjusting to a new environment." That comment upset me because it made me feel like he's talking to me not because he enjoys it but because he's just doing me a favor. He assured me that he enjoys our conversations and that didn't mean it in the way I interpreted it, but at this point my emotions (and PMS, probably) took over. I started bringing up various worries and insecurities I had been feeling about our relationship. I basically just poured my heart out, crying the whole time, wondering if he still cares, if he really misses me, why he doesn't call me during the day, etc. I was really bawling, I felt so sad! The thing is, I know he still cares. I know he's just good at distracting himself and I know he's a great boyfriend. And usually I am good at occupying my time and not moping around. I just hate how my emotions took over me, and even I knew I wasn't making sense. He didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what I wanted from him or what I expected him to say. We ended the conversation on as reassuring a note as possible, with the promise that we'll talk later tonight. Ugh. I feel like an emotional mess! Please tell me I'm not alone!
Hoosier09 Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 I know how you're feeling. I'm very glad you trust that he is a great boyfriend. You might be feeling a little bit insecure which is almost unavoidable in an LDR. I did a lot of flip flopping with my doubts and worries while speaking to my SO and unfortunately I think it planted stuff in her head which then led to our downfall. If he is the great boyfriend you speak of, he will understand that you're feeling a little insecure at the moment and will do his best to help you out. Just tell him what you just told us when you speak to him next...that you know he is a great boyfriend and you don't know why you're doing this. He might feel like you are doubting him and this will give him confidence. He might even feel like he hurt you and trust me that doesn't feel nice. Just reassure him and be honest. It's probably just stress from your new situation. I hope everything works out ok.
Island Girl Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Seriously. They happened so much in the first few years. I would get upset about something and it would just spin out of control with crying, yelling, - you name it. Insecurities were the foundation and PMS was an accelerator. Anything I was remotely upset about would trigger the meltdown and I would end up going ballistic. It wouldn't last very long. And he'd talk me down (usually). A few days later I'd apologize and he'd say he knew it was PMS. Thankfully he is smart and doesn't say that when it is happening. The worst thing you can do guys is attributing thoughts and feelings to PMS in the middle of the meltdown. It might be true - but you should never say that. When I am irritated now I tend to focus on just what is bothering me - all other issues have long since been resolved and I have no insecurities about us anymore. But yeah girlfriend. I've been there. And now I can laugh at those times just like he can.
Maggs Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Erm......yup!! Happens to both my fiance and I (maybe male PMS on his side!) Seriously though...yes it's happened a few times. It's usually stress, frustration, loneliness, PMS, etc, etc...and sometimes just a cry for attention too. And not in the tantrum sense either. When you're apart from your SO--I feel like when you've not had much time to reconnect, love each other, have a really good chat, etc lately--then your inner cup feels empty. If that makes sense! And sometimes that's overwhelming. Until you get some lovely couple time online or on the phone together and then the cup is full again!
Bearandsue Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 Oh lord this used to happen to me about once per month. PMS turns me into a crying-insecure-rambling-maniac. Oh I cannot tell the amount of times I have had the "you don't care about me anymore" conversation. Crying the whole time I am talking. And yes I am the one doing all the talking because he knows its PMS and anything he says will be taken the wrong way. I don't know how he puts up with me sometimes. And I feel so awful the day after or when I read some of my PMS induced e-mails..UGHH!. I am sure your guy knows what is going on with you. Don't worry too much about it.
Island Girl Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 And I feel so awful the day after or when I read some of my PMS induced e-mails..UGHH!. SO there is a bright side to my hubby not having a computer!! None of those conversations are written down or can be revisited in any way! My meltdowns are always over the phone! I knew there had to be a bright side. Thanks Mrs. Bear!!!!!!!!
FabulousLadee Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I've only been in my LDR for 3 months and I've already had some meltdowns. And yes, for me too, I'm almost always PMSing when it happens. Thankfully he is a very patient and humble type of guy and has an understanding about how these things are going to happen every now and then. It's not easy being away from someone you love. Sometimes I even start asking myself why did I have to fall in love with someone who doesn't live in my area?! Why?! It's not fair. I say all of that but I wouldn't trade him or my situation for the world. Every thing happens for a reason. I've learned in such a short period of time that an LDR can be one of the most EMOTIONAL relationships that you will ever be in. You're forced to be emotional because the physical is not there. So it gets hard to try to hold back all of that. Hang in there, Sweetheart! It happens to all of us.
hoping2heal Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Indeed. It's 3:30 AM. I'm sitting up crying because I miss him. I just wish I could hear his voice. The emotions are getting pretty extreme now, because it isn't much longer before the LDR stage will be over, and it's on to something new.
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