Dasilva Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 So my ex initiated a break a few weeks ago, but we have been talking nearly every day since then; sometimes bickering at little things, sometimes having nice conversations and sometimes reminiscin on some of the old times... a little bit of everything really. She tells me every day that she still loves me and that she cant see herself marrying anybody else but me, so why isnt she with me? I want to go NC and see what that does for me, but I dont want to give her the wrong impression, that im trying to move on or I dont want to be with her, because I love her to death and dont want to lose her. The thing is, if I try to go NC, im pretty sure she would call me the next day or the day after,and if I dont answer I think she would get mad and automatically think the worst. Do I not answer? Do I answer? Where do I draw the line? I think she is out tonite for her sisters birthday and I dont want to think about what shes doing. Lately she has been going out alot more then she used to, but considering she almost never went out before I guess I dont blame her. Most of the time she tells me where she is going and I hope shes not doing anything to hurt me, but in the end I'm just left wondering. I dont want to be the 1 sitting at home thinking about her, while shes out doing her thing and then expecting me to be waiting for her. What do I do?
Exit Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Don't leave it up to her to get the right "impression", what I mean is tell her clearly what you are doing. Tell her if she can't see herself marrying anyone else, then she needs to figure out what she wants. You do not want to be talking every day and hearing these things from her if you aren't together. Don't just disappear and stop talking, then she certainly will get the wrong impression. Tell her you feel the same (if you do), but that you aren't going to play this waiting game. And tell her that not talking will not be easy for you and it's not what you want, but you can't allow things to continue the way they are. Put yourself in a position of power. Based on what you said I think she'll be back. And do not let her guilt you with garbage like "if you wanted to be with me you would wait, you'd be happy just to be friends for a while". BS. Like you said, she's going out a lot more and having fun. You shouldn't have to wait around.
Author Dasilva Posted July 4, 2009 Author Posted July 4, 2009 She knows how I feel, I've told her many times. I even told her that its going to be hard as hell for me but I feel like I have to do it. I told her I cant pretend and talk to her like my girlfriend if thats not what she is. I told her that when she figures it out to call me, but she would still call me the next day, but not say anything about being together. Im not sure what would happen if i just stop answering her calls. I told her I wasnt going to contact her, but I suck at it and im not sure if not answering is the right thing to do
heatherb16 Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 You can't let her take advantage of you. She's either with your or she's not. The same thing happened to me. My ex broke up with me then later told me that that night he turned to one of his buddies and said, " I think I just lost the girl I was supposed to marry." It sucks, I don't get it. But he has his feelings and I can't control that. Like you, I was still having conversations with my ex. Bickering, reminiscing, small talk, and sometimes deep conversations. A couple days ago it got to the point where we were arguing just like in our relationship. It got messy. I was cursing at him, angry, and frustrated, and he was starting to feel the same towards me. He finally told me to just leave him alone for a while. I took that and ran with it. At that point, I realized I needed to make a decision. Before things got way too heated, and we eventually would resent each other, I decided to go to NC. It's only been 1 day, but I'm feeling proud. I know my ex thinks I'm going to give in and text him because that's the way I've always been. I'm excited to prove him wrong. I think it would be a great decision for you. Time alone. Time to realize that you CAN be an independent person and you don't NEED someone in order to survive and be successful. Really think about it. Good luck and I hope you decide to join the train with the many of us!
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