stillafool Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Did any of you see "Oprah" today? They were talking about secrets Mom's have. Like some of them really didn't want to be mothers at all and wish someone had told them how hard motherhood is. I don't have kids but I have had plenty of (well 6) mothers tell me I don't know how lucky I am not to have children. One told me that others won't tell me that because they don't want to scare women into not having babies. I couldn't get over the one mother who said she didn't bath her kids for 3 weeks nor herself because she's too busy.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I couldn't get over the one mother who said she didn't bath her kids for 3 weeks nor herself because she's too busy. No way! Not even a dip in the creek??? That's insane, its also neglect. I do remember a time when I could never seem to remember to shave both of my legs at one time because I was hurrying and had so much on my mind!
Author stillafool Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 I can understand not shaving your legs but not giving the kids a bath in 3 weeks? One mother said she wanted time to herself so bad that when her two sons were sleep in the backseat, she had to use the bathroom, but rather than stop and risk waking them up she used a pamper to pee in.
westernxer Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Propagating the human race is not without its quirks. LOL
Eve Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 I always say that motherhood can make or break a woman. It is simply the most beautiful but dangerous thing a woman can ever do. Yes, parenting can be extreme but I think that if a woman cant handle it she should seek help straight away. Forget shame, put the child first. There are plenty of people out there who adore children and can accept the challenges. There are also predators out there too. BTW, 3 weeks without bathing is utterly yuk! The woman who said that must have made it up. If not, I hope the child was removed until the mother got her head back together. Take care, Eve xx
Ronni_W Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 (well 6) mothers tell me I don't know how lucky I am not to have children. I tell them back, "It's not luck, I made conscious decisions!" One did realize, "Yeah...you're smart." Remaining childless was a wise decision...for me...is all I can say. That woman who didn't bathe even herself...that's got to have been some kind of undiagnosed mental condition, too -- severe depression or something?
Lyssa Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Did not bathe for 3 weeks?!? Eeeww. I can't go without 3 showers a day! Being a mother is hard work. From carrying a baby for 9 months, giving birth then bringing the child(ren) up. I have nothing but utmost respect for mothers!
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 As bad as it sounds, some women are just not maternal or cut out to be mothers. My mother surely wasn't.
Storyrider Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 There are definitely days I think I can't do it and shouldn't be doing it. Unfortunately I'm right in the middle of it, so it is way, way too late now. I'll admit on those bad days, I fantasize that I'm their aunt instead of their mother and that when I get tired of them, I can leave and go home to an empty apartment to eat my dinner alone while reading a book. We just watched some old video of them this morning when each of them was a baby, and they were so incredibly adorable, especially from about the age of 6 months until around 2 1/2. Infancy was exhausting because I felt like I couldn't put them down when they cried, so they were on me constantly. And now that they're older, 10 and 6, there are many days they feel more like crazy, obnoxious roommates than my kids. I'm not a natural disciplinarian, I hate loud noise and chaos, I just want them to magically be calm and reasonable, which ain't gonna happen. But....things are much better now that I'm working and they're in school and we're not around each other 24/7.
onthebrinkofitall Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I saw that episode of Oprah.. I DVR'd it and watch it at least once a week. It made me laugh.. and cry. It's so true. If you don't have children, you really don't know how lucky you are. It's hard being a mom because we're not supposed to have those problems. The thing with being a mother is the fact that you haven't always been one.. [i think the Oprah show mentioned something about this].. you remember your life before children and oh! What a glorious life it was! When a child is born, a mother is born as well. The woman was always there but the mother is completely new. I definitely have days when I think my children ruined my life.. doesn't happen often but believe me, every parent has those days.. unless they're June Cleaver. Then I feel guilty for having those thoughts. But when you're cleaning spaghetti and poop off of your baby and your two toddlers are in the other room, fighting about what movie they're going to watch.. destroying the house [and each other] in the process, you start to wonder why people get the urge to procreate. I swear off sex at least once a week. Being a mom is hard and as for the woman who didn't bathe her children for 3 weeks.. far be it from me to judge her. I think she probably gave 'em a "baby wipe bath" and failed to mention that. And in all honesty, I'm sure these children are going to be just fine.. and I doubt they'll hold the fact that their mother didn't bathe them for 3 weeks when they were really little against her. Mothers are people too.
Tayla Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I can say this after years of retrospect. THere isnt a parent (with a good heart) that hasnt done some humdinger of a parenting mistake and lived to have there kid remind them:) Only this time some parents can have it preserved for posterity by having it on the Oprah show :0 I come from the old school, we dont air dirty laundry. We make up for it and move on...I pray these ladies do the same. Best we can do is learn from things sometimes.
Green Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 I'm a man with no kids. Will my life change alot lol?
KikiW Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 My mother in law continued to have tea with a neighbor when my husband (a kid at the time) came in and cried about how badly his arm hurt. She was used to him whining about every little thing so she dismissed it and told him to go lay down and be quiet. The next day at school the nurse called her and told her his arm was broken and he needed to be taken to the hospital immediately. She felt so badly she got him McDonalds for dinner, which in the 70s was a huge treat for him. She's by no means a bad mother, particularly with his history of exaggerating discomforts, but it was exactly one of those OMG I FEEL HORRIBLE I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON moments.
Author stillafool Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 I saw that episode of Oprah.. I DVR'd it and watch it at least once a week. It made me laugh.. and cry. It's so true. If you don't have children, you really don't know how lucky you are. It's hard being a mom because we're not supposed to have those problems. The thing with being a mother is the fact that you haven't always been one.. [i think the Oprah show mentioned something about this].. you remember your life before children and oh! What a glorious life it was! When a child is born, a mother is born as well. The woman was always there but the mother is completely new. I definitely have days when I think my children ruined my life.. doesn't happen often but believe me, every parent has those days.. unless they're June Cleaver. Then I feel guilty for having those thoughts. But when you're cleaning spaghetti and poop off of your baby and your two toddlers are in the other room, fighting about what movie they're going to watch.. destroying the house [and each other] in the process, you start to wonder why people get the urge to procreate. I swear off sex at least once a week. Being a mom is hard and as for the woman who didn't bathe her children for 3 weeks.. far be it from me to judge her. I think she probably gave 'em a "baby wipe bath" and failed to mention that. And in all honesty, I'm sure these children are going to be just fine.. and I doubt they'll hold the fact that their mother didn't bathe them for 3 weeks when they were really little against her. Mothers are people too. I appreciate your honesty. A lot of mothers wouldn't admit or would be too afraid to voice what you have said. I don't have children but I have the greatest respect for mothers and fathers and I know your job isn't easy. You are right that woman's kids will not remember that she didn't give them a bath for 3 weeks. When I was a kid I went to visit my aunt who had 6 kids. That summer we all took baths in the local lake. I never had so much fun in my life!
Kenyth Posted August 24, 2009 Posted August 24, 2009 I'm guessing it's easier if you don't have six kids back to back. My opinion is only have two kids close together max. Two working parents taking care of one young child properly is not so hard, or expensive.
icuao2 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 you makeI always say that motherhood can make or break a woman. It is simply the most beautiful but dangerous thing a woman can ever do. Yes, parenting can be extreme but I think that if a woman cant handle it she should seek help straight away. Forget shame, put the child first. There are plenty of people out there who adore children and can accept the challenges. Yes that was my choice and told my ex during or marriage and after our divorce and i put in paper i wanted the father to have full custody and i walk away Then WHY ARE YOU FORCE TO tell the truth to your sibling. SIBLING MEET EACH OTHER ;big joke
Angel1111 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 Did any of you see "Oprah" today? They were talking about secrets Mom's have. Like some of them really didn't want to be mothers at all and wish someone had told them how hard motherhood is. I don't have kids but I have had plenty of (well 6) mothers tell me I don't know how lucky I am not to have children. One told me that others won't tell me that because they don't want to scare women into not having babies. I couldn't get over the one mother who said she didn't bath her kids for 3 weeks nor herself because she's too busy. What kind of nutcase wouldn't bath herself or her kids for 3 weeks??? That is just ridiculous. Yes, being a mom is VERY hard work - don't let anyone kid you about that. But, the truth is, if you raise your children right and raise them to respect you, a LOT of the work is done for you. People who let their kids run their lives are nuts. But even then, it is hard work. But I will tell you that anything worth having is worth working for. Having kids can be your biggest test in life and also your most rewarding. But if you decide not to have kids, it will probably be one of the biggest mistakes you'll ever make. And this is coming from a die-hard woman who never wanted kids. Just make sure that your life is together - do the things you want to do, get your education and career together, find a decent man who will support you instead of crush you. And GET A BABYSITTER OFTEN. Kids are a LOT of trouble, but they are well worth it.
Angel1111 Posted September 9, 2009 Posted September 9, 2009 And now that they're older, 10 and 6, there are many days they feel more like crazy, obnoxious roommates than my kids. I'm not a natural disciplinarian, I hate loud noise and chaos, I just want them to magically be calm and reasonable, which ain't gonna happen. But....things are much better now that I'm working and they're in school and we're not around each other 24/7. Then you need to become a disciplinarian because your kids are running your life. And that's just ridiculous. For your sake and the kids, get a handle on it. This is usually why people have rebellious teens - because they didn't teach them to respect their parents when they were younger.
Author stillafool Posted September 10, 2009 Author Posted September 10, 2009 But if you decide not to have kids, it will probably be one of the biggest mistakes you'll ever make. And this is coming from a die-hard woman who never wanted kids. Just make sure that your life is together - do the things you want to do, get your education and career together, find a decent man who will support you instead of crush you. And GET A BABYSITTER OFTEN. QUOTE] And, what about people who don't have the things you described above? Should they try to have children also? It seems that having children these days has become a luxury only afforded by the rich. The cost to raise a child these days are astronomical. Not to mention trying to find a decent man - that's damn near out of the question. I think if a person doesn't have the money it takes to raise a child in this society they are doing the child as well as themselves a disservice. It's too bad people like Oprah who can afford to have a kid doesn't have one. But she may feel as I do - Motherhood is not for her.
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 10, 2009 Posted September 10, 2009 But if you decide not to have kids, it will probably be one of the biggest mistakes you'll ever make. And this is coming from a die-hard woman who never wanted kids. Just make sure that your life is together - do the things you want to do, get your education and career together, find a decent man who will support you instead of crush you. And GET A BABYSITTER OFTEN. QUOTE] And, what about people who don't have the things you described above? Should they try to have children also? It seems that having children these days has become a luxury only afforded by the rich. The cost to raise a child these days are astronomical. Not to mention trying to find a decent man - that's damn near out of the question. I think if a person doesn't have the money it takes to raise a child in this society they are doing the child as well as themselves a disservice. It's too bad people like Oprah who can afford to have a kid doesn't have one. But she may feel as I do - Motherhood is not for her. Children are financially taxing of course, but anyone in their right mind knows that!!!! even before they start having kids!!! Yeah my family was very poor and growing up we didnt have much, but I'm a grown adult and alot of the things in my life I brought myself. We're coming into our own as a family now. So being poor is not really a hardcore excuse for not having kids. It's time, and time you have to nurture and raise that child.
Author stillafool Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 Children are financially taxing of course, but anyone in their right mind knows that!!!! even before they start having kids!!! Yeah my family was very poor and growing up we didnt have much, but I'm a grown adult and alot of the things in my life I brought myself. We're coming into our own as a family now. So being poor is not really a hardcore excuse for not having kids. It's time, and time you have to nurture and raise that child. I think it is. I didn't grow up with much either and was raised on a farm but times were different then. You have to be financially prepared to have a child it's only fair to the child. Too many people are having kids without thinking about the financial responsibility involved.
icuao2 Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Did any of you see "Oprah" today? They were talking about secrets Mom's have. Like some of them really didn't want to be mothers at all and wish someone had told them how hard motherhood is. I don't have kids but I have had plenty of (well 6) mothers tell me I don't know how lucky I am not to have children. One told me that others won't tell me that because they don't want to scare women into not having babies. I couldn't get over the one mother who said she didn't bath her kids for 3 weeks nor herself because she's too busy. but mine is the truth i didn't want him and walked away,remarried 2ND child,stayed home mom(never had that and felt i couldn't ask for it.
MSUE Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 Did not bathe for 3 weeks?!? Eeeww. I can't go without 3 showers a day! Being a mother is hard work. From carrying a baby for 9 months, giving birth then bringing the child(ren) up. I have nothing but utmost respect for mothers! ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Lyssa??? I'm so confused...is someone else used her acct???? she did pass right??? forgive me lord for asking this questions but I'm extremely confused http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t201017/
Author stillafool Posted September 11, 2009 Author Posted September 11, 2009 but mine is the truth i didn't want him and walked away,remarried 2ND child,stayed home mom(never had that and felt i couldn't ask for it. I'm sorry but I don't understand what you are saying. Could you repeat?
sally4sara Posted September 11, 2009 Posted September 11, 2009 ??????????????????????????????????????????????? Lyssa??? I'm so confused...is someone else used her acct???? she did pass right??? forgive me lord for asking this questions but I'm extremely confused http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t201017/ Posted before she died? Look at the date. I was not close to her so I'm not sure exactly when she departed.....
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