lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I posted this yesterday: Let me give a little background first: I met a guy on dating website, we emailed each other for a few weeks usually waiting a couple days inbetween each email. One day a get an email from him giving me his phone number saying I could call or text him. I decided to text and said now you have my number too. We texted a few times after that. A week ago I was out and I got a text from him saying that he would like to hang out with me I told him I would like to as well, we had a difficult time arranging a date because we both have kids, I have mine during the week him on the weekends anyways we ended up texting each other for a few hours that night then he said he would talk to me tomorrow, then tomorrow came no word from him. I waited 4 days then I decided to text him he seemed very enthusaustic to talk to me, I told him that I wasn't sure if he was still interested but I could get a sitter during the week he said that was awesome and yes he was interested. Later on that night we texted eachother again for a few hours and it turned out we have alot in common and I had fun talking with him. Again he said he would talk to me tomorrow and still no word? this was 2 days ago? we were able to arrange a meeting for next week we have a date, time and place set up. I am confused now is he interested or not? ______________________________________________________________ Thank you for all of the great responses but I am wondering it has now been 3 days still no word, how long should I wait until I try to contact him via phone? The date is set up for wednsday, I know we have not even met yet not, so not really frazzled over the whole thing just really confused. You think he will stand me up? during our first texting conversation he did try to flirt with me, I didn't flirt back I really don't know how too I guess, I am really new to dating again it has been 6 years for me. I am really lost and any tips on maybe what I should wear for a first date? and if I am interested in him upon meeting him what type of flirting is acceptable for a first date or how do I let him know that I am interested without seeming desperate because I am not! I just don't know how to go about this whole thing.
NotNow Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 1. I think it's rude of him not to call you!! But that's not constructive, so I'll also add that if I were you I would call Sunday, maaayyyyybe Monday to confirm your plans if you still haven't heard from him (and then on your date see if you think this no contact thing is something or nothing!). 2. Will he stand you up - who knows! Don't stress yourself out over this so much though! It's just some guy, not a big deal!! Just in case, maybe you can have back up plans with a friend for sometime a little after the date, or you could bring a book or something and just enjoy your own company if he stands you up. Never hurts to have a backup plan. 3. Where are you going on your date? Without knowing what type of venue/activity it's hard to say. Definitely wear something you're comfortable in though. 4. As for flirting - I hate to say it, but do you ever read magazines like Cosmo? There's a lot of junk in those magazines, but they do have flirting and dating tips and articles. One common thing to do is lightly and briefly touch his arm or hand as you're telling a story.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 I am supposed to be meeting him for coffee.
girl68 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 perhaps "I'll talk to you tomorrow" is a line such as "see ya later!" He just doesn't follow up with it. definately get in touch before your date at least to confirm if he says no, let him go, the ball is then in his court, move on at that point. If the date is a go... depending on where you go, a simple, nothing fancy summer dress should do just fine, nice cute sandals should do the trick. Smile lots, laugh lots, and look at him are the basics. Have some fun!
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 and if he does show up should I even mention the "I will call you tomorrow" thing and ask what happened? or just let it be?
Jilly Bean Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I'd drop this guy. He's flaky, lukewarm, and is making you do all of the chasing. NEXT!
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 It does seem that way. Our initall contact was really good and he was contacting me regularly, then after our messaging back and forth when he flirted and I didn't flirt back he did get a little flaky? Since we haven't even met though it is hard to say.
NotNow Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I would go ahead and meet him; try to feel him out in person. Hard to tell what "I'll talk to you later" or "I'll call you later" means in a text - maybe it just means "later" or "bye." That's the problem with texting. I think it would be a huge turn off to a guy if you brought up him not calling when he said he would type stuff during your first date. You're just getting to know each other and you already want to pick on his bad behavior (which may just be a little quirk, like that's how he says "bye")? If it bothers you that much, call him to cancel the date and "next" him as Jilly Bean said.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Ya, that is kinda what I was thinking too prolly shouldn't mention it and as far as the texting goes it could just be a way of saying bye. I guess I wont know for sure until I meet him in person in order to get a better feel of what kinda person he is really like.
lora22 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 You keep saying that! You seem to be really stressing out about this, and/or overthinking it. (I tend to do this also.) Just relax! At this point you don't have much invested in this guy - right? So just try to stop worrying, and go have fun with this new person you're going to meet! Good idea from another poster about what to wear, but since it's coffee you can really do anything. Maybe jeans and a cute top and cute shoes is another option.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 You are right I am over thinking all of this, I am just really nervous haven't been on a date in 6 years. Thank you for the advice on what to wear too
lora22 Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 Yes of course he should also initiate contact. Who cares if sending him the text was a good idea or not, since you already did it? Stop worrying, he responded to it right? YES, you should call him, since you said you would. If you want a retrospective answer, you should've either just called him to confirm and not texted him about happy 4th. I either posted this in another thread or in this one. I don't online date. However, it seems to me that the point of online dating is to meet people and set up a time to meet in person (ie, do the dating part) ASAP. So I don't personally don't understand the need for tons of contact in between setting up the date and actually going on the date - since you've never actually met and don't even know if you like each other or are attracted to each other, or really anything about the other person at all. Relax! Stop focusing on this guy so much and worrying so much about him, because obviously he's not worrying about you. Probably he's just looking forward to meeting you and having fun on your date. So you should just do the same.
D-Lish Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 and if he does show up should I even mention the "I will call you tomorrow" thing and ask what happened? or just let it be? Heaven's NO!!!! The first date should be light and laid back. Use it as an opportunity to feel one another out. I'm quite sure most would find that line of questioning annoying- perhaps even be weirded out by it. First date- confronting him on his behaviour, is a no-no. Wait for him to call- your date is for Wednesday. He should call you tomorrow or Tuesday. If he doesn't- don't go chasing him, don't contact him. There are plenty of flakes online- try not to overthink things too much before you meet them. If he doesn't contact you, on to the next. In the meantime, set up other dates, talk to other people. No way should you have to chase a man. If he doesn't contact you to firm up the date, it's because he isn't willing to put forth the effort. A man that isn't willing to do that should NOT be chased.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 6, 2009 Author Posted July 6, 2009 Okay I think I kinda messed up the threads here a bit, I think I created a new one too I guess I just really don't like being lied to that is one of my biggest pet peeves and was thinking of cancelling just cause of it but that would prolly be a bit too presumptious of this guy anywhoo. So sorry got it posted twice by mistake
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