Battlewax Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 I didn't have dreams about her until just recently. When we first split up I was constantly doing things, so my mind was fairly occupied. The past couple of days things have slowed down. I think running into one of her friends set me back a little. The past two night's she's been in my dreams. I actually checked for some dream interpretation. 1) Going through personal growth, a need to confront issues you would normally ignore or are afraid to bring up 2) Suggestion that you have limited options. Alternatively, it indicates that you may be sidetracked due to domestic duties and find yourself in a dilemma. 3)You are undergoing a readjustment period after experiencing some serious personal conflict or an ending to a passionate affair. 4) You need to slow down and take some time to relax from your daily activities. Sounds about right
Exit Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Congrats on your progress Lisa. I think you still have one of the most amazing stories here on the forums. I do not think I could handle that happening to me. You are incredible!
LisaUk Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Congrats on your progress Lisa. I think you still have one of the most amazing stories here on the forums. I do not think I could handle that happening to me. You are incredible! Thanks for that Exit, I wouldn't say I'm there yet but I think I'm starting to move on. Done a lot of soul searching over on the divorce and seperation board, (see I felt married without actually having the wedding, if that makes sense, we were together so long, I commited to him years ago), has helped me a lot. Have seen you about from time to time, you look like you are doing well!
Exit Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Yeah, I understand the commitment without marriage thing. I feel the same way. I had already made the decision, inside myself, who I was going to stay with for the rest of my life. Oops! I'm doing a little bit better. Not completely over it but for now I've calmed down and just going with the flow.
LisaUk Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Yeah, I understand the commitment without marriage thing. I feel the same way. I had already made the decision, inside myself, who I was going to stay with for the rest of my life. Oops! I'm doing a little bit better. Not completely over it but for now I've calmed down and just going with the flow. Best way really, one day at a time, don't think to far ahead, just screws with your head!
hew Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 i hear ya !!!!!!!!! i miss him and idk why because he was a JERK. guess its just the thought of having it alll. serisouly though, somedays i swear im over him, then other days i cannot get him off my mind. your not alone dont worry wanna talk more ?
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 5, 2009 Author Posted July 5, 2009 I'd be happy to talk to you more hew. Especially cuz you have a pic of Edward in your avatar, and everyone says I resemble him. lol!!! Seriously though. My aim name = "Not ThomasX". If you want to email me, then click on my name, then go to "Contact" and it lists my website. My website has my emails, etc. I'd tell you it all directly, but as ive stated before, this site bans you immediately if you post your email / links to other sites. I can give a hint though. My name is ThomasX. Add a .com to my name, and you may wind up at a place I call my own.
Thornton Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 I feel your pain Thomas When I first broke up with my ex, I would wake up every morning and have a brief moment of happiness, before I remembered that he had dumped me. The realisation that I'd lost him would settle on me like a lead jacket and the empty ache in my stomach would start. I slept a lot because it felt like an escape from the pain, it blocked out everything from my mind. Waking up in the morning was so painful that I would literally turn over and go right back to sleep to block out the pain. After a while I kind of got used to the pain, and rather than being a crushing weight it just felt like a dull familiar empty ache. I try not to think about him, because I'm only torturing myself. But sometimes I think: it took me a whole lifetime to find someone who was everything I ever wanted, so what chance have I got of ever finding that again? I don't think you ever get over losing someone you love, you just learn to live with it; you learn to look in a different direction so you're not looking at that big empty hole inside of you that they left when they went away. Dreaming about someone is wonderful, the difficult part is waking up and realising they're not there, will never be there. You feel like you want to cling onto the dream, to see them for just a little while longer, even if it isn't real. When you wake up it's like losing them all over again. You do feel genuine grief for your loss, just as if the person had died... but the pain is worse than the grief you feel for someone who died, because what hurts the most is that the person chose to walk away from you. You know they're probably with someone else, and you wonder: what does that person have that I don't? It makes you question your own worth, and the whole experience just made me feel completely lost and alone. I still haven't figured out a solution other than trying not to think about it
Author Thomas X Forever Posted July 5, 2009 Author Posted July 5, 2009 That's horrible thornton. Like extremely painfully real and horrible You're welcome to contact me too.. I'd like to get into regular contact with a lot of people who are going thru the same things right now. The world is as cold as people warn you about, growing up.
Thornton Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 What worries me the most is how long I'll feel this loss. The last guy I was crazy about, it took me years to get to a point where I no longer wished things had worked out differently. In fact, it was only when I met the ex who I currently feel cut up about that I finally got over the previous one! I wonder if I'll be hurting over this guy until I fall in love with someone else, because that could take forever. I realise I have to get on with dating, get on with my life, and I have been trying... but although other people have been nicer to me than he was, I still want him, and it annoys me that I'm being so illogical. I keep telling myself that I don't actually want him... I want someone just like him who actually loves and respects me, i.e. a person who doesn't exist. I love this person who doesn't exist, the guy I wanted him to be, not the cowardly cheating liar he really is. I wish I could make my heart understand that it was fooled into loving a mirage.
Exit Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 You should work on filling that void ASIDE from finding the next person you're going to date. Then you just put a ton of pressure on them because they are making up for that pain you had been feeling all along. You need to be a happy, complete person before you ever expect someone to date you again, don't be a selfish lover by making a new person try to compensate for pain that you are still feeling. Try to find passion and happiness in your life aside from having a partner. If you still have this hole in your heart when you meet your next partner, I fear your next relationship will be doomed as well because it will be an uneven playing field from day 1. All of us here can manage to see the selfishness and disrespect of the people who hurt us, but we need to look in the mirror and realize we also have the potential to be selfish if we ever expect another person to fill this void in our lives that they aren't responsible for in the first place. Let's try to find happiness for ourselves so we can share that with someone. It's bad enough that our ex's are the cause of our pain right now, we don't want them to be the cause of our future relationships not working out either. If you meet someone before you've let go of this baggage, the only decent thing to do is to turn them down.
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