kizik Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Hi, I made this thread in regards to the 4th of July. Now, I have no plans for the 4th, but I could care less. I'll spend it watching movies or something. But go ahead and check me out last year: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t157208/ Time heals.
gd26 Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Yes, I agree. I was quite active on this site last year as well; though have been away the last few months. Things do get better. I know how bad things hurt right after a separation when you don't want to get out of bed in the morning because you are too depressed. You think you'll never be able to feel normal again, and don't know how to stop the pain. Yes, it can be horrible.... but it does diminish substantially. Eventually you stop counting the days of NC, and even eventually stop counting the months as well. You might think at the time that you'll never heal... but eventually you do, at least to a large extent. I am functioning much better now than I was previously. I still think of men from my past, and still sometimes get an ache in my heart for those I loved. However, my rational and logical side tells me that I deserve someone who will never walk away from me, and that I am better off. With the last guy, I no longer hold him on the same pedestal anymore, and know I am capable of finding someone who loves me, and won't run away. I would say I am mostly better now, as I'm not actively pining for the last guy (though I still think of him from time to time and miss his companionship). But instead of still hoping to get back with him, I am now eager to find another partner who is right for me... hopefully I'll pick wisely this time! However, I am still healing from fear of relationships and being abandoned by my partner. Unlike most people who jump from relationship to relationship without doing the inner work of healing their wounds, I want to address my experiences so I no longer carry the baggage into the next relationship. So I'm working on that. For those of you hurting... keep the faith. When you are actively hurting, you are telling yourself that you'll never find anyone better than your ex, or that you'll never be able to recover from your loss of that person. I have been rejected many times in my life (even though I am a very decent person), and each time not only DID I recover, but most of the time the new partner was actually better for me than the former. Just remember that someone who is really right for you is not going to cheat on you, lie to you, abuse you, disrespect or degrade you, or be ambivalent about having a life with you.
Lyssa Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Kizik, didn't you have a date last night or something? How did that go? Or did I just confuse you with someone else?
Author kizik Posted July 6, 2009 Author Posted July 6, 2009 Hey Lyssa, nope you're right, that was me who went on a date. I think it went well. We DID kiss. Supposed to call her today - I hope she wants to hang out again. Thanks for asking!
sedgwick Posted July 6, 2009 Posted July 6, 2009 I had a slightly better 4th this year too. He dumped me July 16, 2007, so the 4th that year was one of our last really happy, special evenings. We had a great time. On 7/4/08, I just stayed home alone and watched the fireworks from my terrace and was proud of myself for managing not to cry. This year I spent the day hanging out with a friend and had a good time. I missed him a lot, but at least I was able to be a little bit social, and last year I couldn't have done that. Small steps, but hey, at least this year on the 4th I actually laughed a couple of times!
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