Battlewax Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Something I've notice about these boards. I am very selfish about them. I don't mean I dispense ****ty advice. No I mean when I'm feeling up I dont' check them that often. This week was one of those weeks where for most of it I was feeling awesome. Spending time with friends, doing some work (unemployed here) just enjoying life. I've met a couple of women that, in time I could see dating. I just know I couldn't do right by them at this time. Out of site, out of mind. Deleted the number... again. Didn't look at facebook. Just did things that made me smile. You know it's a good day when you wake up and do stuff and it's the middle of the afternoon until she pops in your head. Until yesterday... ugh. Out of nowhere I get some random message about how she ran into my ex-wife. (My ex wife and I are fairly good friends now) Then I run into one of her friends last night while I was out. I actually avoided him for a while because I didn't want to deal with it. Thank god he didn't talk about her. Well except for one thing, he thinks she's an idiot. I gotta say I laughed fairly hard at that. He also mentioned that she isn't as close to anybody as I thought, apparently she's really kept herself closed off to emotions. I was actually thinking about getting a cup of coffee or something with her in a week or two, basically to guage where I am with everything. After last night, I'm not sure I want to do this. The roller coaster continues, one day I'm almost indifferent then the next I'm thinking about her. I've been trying to figure out if I want to fight for her or not. I am really unsure, that's why I've been in LC and now NC. It seems she's on cruise control with almost no emotion. I've spent a good part of this year in a depression. It started with my job loss that eventually led to lots of issues between us. I was in no shape to do anything about our relationship and now she's apparently having similar issues. Forgive the babbling, I'm trying to figure out if I want to fight or not. Edit* I just looked at some older posts I've made. Boy was I in denial.
kizik Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 You've come this far. Please don't do anything stupid now - you know, like contacting your ex who could care less about you. First: stop thinking about HER. Think about YOU. I know it hurts. That she's out there. With someone else maybe. Smiling. Laughing. Acting like you don't exist. Acting like, "Battlewax who??" So, f*ck her. Time to get angry. REALLY angry. Spend a whole day remembering. You know exactly what I'm talking about. All those times she made you feel like sh*t. The negative things. Now: time for YOU. You're doing great and meeting new people. I don't know your situation. You might write to me, "Nah, it's fine, we're gonna get back together." All I know is this: Life is too goddamn short. Too short to be in pain. To struggle with someone. To try to make them love you. Let her go. Really let her go.
Ryan186 Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Man it was as if you were speaking to me when you posted that.
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