masaki1085 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 There is this girl that I've known for awhile as more of an acquaintance--a friend of a friend basically. I've known her for a couple of years, but had never really developed a true friendship with her or anything over the years I've known her. Anyhow, about a week ago I met up with some friends for some drinks and she was there--again she is a friend of a friend. We really struck up a good conversation, and she seemed to be really into it--to the point where my friends were observing (and telling me when they were able) these signs. She said she was home for the summer, so I suggested the possibility that if she were looking for something to do we should hang out. I was able to get her phone number at the end of the night. I should make clear my intent now in this story--I would be interested in dating this girl. My ultimate plan was to try and hang out with her one time for drinks and to ask her out followin--in person or by phone later--if everything seemed to go okay. Murphy's Law, anyone...? So I wait a couple days until yesterday. A complicated situation on my part is that I am busy many evening, and she works during the day. This makes it difficult to make a phone call, so I decided to text because I didn't want to corner her at her job or play phone tag. I still never know when texting is justifiable in these types of situations, if ever. :\ So I text her, and ask if she would be interested in a drink with me that evening if she didn't have plans already. She texts back asking about time and place--I provide her with my thoughts on the matter. She then texts, asking if she can get back to me later and "who else would be going?" I communicate back that its cool and it would be just me. At this point I thought my plan was halted--I figured by the way it sounded that she may not have wanted to hang out with me unless someone else were going. But then she responds, "Can we meet up next week?" We go back and forth and I suggest Tuesday or Wednesday as they would be nights that I would be free--she gets back to me later in the evening and says "Wednesday is good." I feel really weird about this conversation, and I'm not really sure why. I'm excited that I will get a chance to hang out with her, but it almost seems that she teased out my plan of wanting to hang out with her as a "no big deal" kind of event on the spot (before I would possibly asked her out) and made it into a planned event a week in the making--essentially, a date. The text themselves also seemed very lukewarm on her end--I might just be reading into it too much, because texts can be pretty vague in general (my fault for initiating the conversation via text anyway, I suppose). I plan to actually call her to finalize plans--I've learned my lesson. I'm almost afraid that because I was not originally clear in my intentions--that is, because I didn't pick up the phone and talk to her or at least explicitly say, "Let's go on a date,"--that I may be getting a "pity date." Or maybe she's irritated that I just didn't go and ask her explicitly on a date. Or maybe I'm just paranoid and I should just see how it all plays out. Thoughts anyone? (Thank you for reading, btw.)
TaraMaiden Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 I think you're over-thinking. Just go out, hang out together, make conversation, and see where it goes. if it heads for a relationship - fine. if you end up just being friends - fine. Just be aware that you may not be the only one agonising over this. we all tend to think we're the only anxious person on the planet. If only we knew just how anxious other people get, too... This board is unfortunately full of people who 'over-think' things. Chill, relax, be cool, and just go to enjoy the evening! Really, what could be simpler?
boogieboy Posted July 4, 2009 Posted July 4, 2009 Asking her for a drink, alone, is the way to ask for a date. You dont need to say "hey do you wanna go OUT with me?" Thats not necessary. She knows your intentions. You did fine.
Author masaki1085 Posted July 7, 2009 Author Posted July 7, 2009 I think you're over-thinking. Chill, relax, be cool, and just go to enjoy the evening! Really, what could be simpler? Yeah, except she blew me off today and cancelled. Ah well--nothing ventured, nothing gained. Life goes on.
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