Why is it, that when you are in a rel. all your friends disappear?

[Lostgurl]

Is this just me?

 

The relationship that i'm in?

 

Do people change, get boring, or what? They just don't like the person you are seeing?

 

I miss my friends.

[redfathom]

It might be that single people have other interestes then people in relationships...

 

I met a friend two years ago and took her in, we spent lots of time together. I always included her with things my H and I did. Then her interested changed, she got a new hobbies and hasn't had much time for me. She also doesn't like to "mix" friends...so I never get invited to the things she does with people around this new hobbie. She is very competative so that could be why.

 

It sucks, but maybe it's time to find new friends. That's what I am thinking I will start doing. As hard as that is...

[girl68]

It's impossible to give you any insight with your post being so unbelievably vauge.

 

I think more often than not, it's you (the friend in the relationship) that disappears, not the other way around. Maybe now that you have a bf he tags along everywhere and that's just lame and now your friends don't want to chill with you anymore with a little puppy dog of a bf hanging off your arm.

 

Or maybe you used to party it up and now that you're tied down you don't want to anymore.

 

Or maybe you choose to not pry yourself away from your bf for one day to hang out with your friend.

 

Could be any of these or what Red says above.

[Confusedalways]

About 2 years ago, I was one of many many single friends. We all did a lot of stuff, had fun, etc, etc.

 

Presently I'm one of two of my close friends that are single. I rarely see the ones in R's, except the people I live with.

 

It depends. One I refuse to see because I hate her boyfriend. The other only texts me when her boyfriend isn't around, and thinks I don't know. I'm not about to be someone's back up plan. Another friend will go out but all I hear about is her boyfriend (they live together) all his problems, all their 'coupley' problems which I can't relate to, and quite frankly don't care about.

 

However, all of these people are the ones disappearing on me. Not the other way around. If you miss your friends, call or text them. Try leaving your boyfriend out of the majority of conversation. Don't be that girl that is constantly texting/on the phone with your boyfriend during the entire outing with your friends.

[nobody's girl]

Interesting observation. I've always found the opposite to be true. I'm amazed at how quickly my "friends" disappear once they're in a relationship. Until it ends and then they're back in my living room with a glass of wine crying about how alone they are. Only time I hear from someone in a relationship is when their SO is out of town or busy; then all of a sudden they want to hang out with me.

[Lyssa]

It's always been the other way around for me too. Disappear when they are in R and reappear when it ends. I learned from them not to make the same mistakes.

[bluejeanbebe]

I guess I'm just as guilty for not cultivating friends while I'm in an R. Most of my long-time friends are all married and busy starting families, so it's hard to remain friends with them anyway. While I'm in a R- you really don't notice that you don't have very many good friends- all of your free time is taken up by your BF. Then when your R ends- you suddenly realize that you have no single friends (like I just did). Then when you try to re-connect with some of your friends now that you've found yourself suddenly single, you feel shallow- at least I do.

[Els]

I think the OP is saying that her friends disappear when SHE is in a relationship, not THEY?

 

OP, are you sure it isn't because you've less time to give them now, you participate less in group activities and such?

[Quickill]

As the perpetually single friend I can only tell you my reasons for not hanging out with my friends in relationships.

 

Half the time I just get sick of the complaining. I do a lot of...well women unfriendly activites I guess. I'm mean I know there has to be women who like to hunt, shoot, four-by etc.. but the ones my freinds all seem to bring just bitch. "It's stupid why do you want to bring your truck up that hill." I hear that one more time I'm going to slap the @#*& out of the friend who brings her.

 

If you don't like watching cheesy B movies and killing zombies on the Xbox why do you insist on comming with him to our Nerd Nights you know whats going to happen. Go hang out with your girlfriends and leave us in peace.

 

Also I just don't want to see it. I get tired of the GF hanging off my pals or vice versa. I know I'm lame for not having a girl but do you have to throw it in my face.

 

So evenutally I just stop asking those friends to hang out.

[kizik]

Because boy and girl go into their special little cocoon (because no one understands them), and they stay in that cocoon for months at a time, having sex, making dinner and sustaining on little inside jokes. They don't care about the outside world because they have each other. Likewise, the outside world says, "F*ck those guys," and all of a sudden the two of you have no friends but each other. Happens to LOTS of couples, ALL the time and the only way to avoid is to leave the apartment and join a softball league.

 

Softball will save your life.