demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Hello LS, would really like your input on this as I am thinking of leaving this girl for good. Ive been seeing this girl for almost 5 months. A few weeks ago a lot of personal issues arose dealing with family, my job and my education. Im not getting enough hours at work. Im no longer getting financial aid and I didnt even do so well on my spring semester classes. So with all this pressure and stress, about a week and a half ago I brought it up to my girl that I'm just not ready to be with her right now...as this is all too much to take and I need to settle/deal with these things and the relationship wasnt helping me much. So she lands up calling me a jerk/ahole and many other things. Five minutes later. I get a text from her that shes 3 months pregnant. Now this totally freaks me out because we were sexually active(mostly due to her, not me) and totally not ready for a kid at this point in my life. So I stay with her to see this through. This past week was the most stressful ive been in my life because of this scare...Up until monday..She had an appointment on monday with womens/pregnancy clinic so I went with her and guess what? She took a preg test and came out negative..they took a blood test after and yesterday we got the results...whaddya know..another negative. Im starting to think(and my friends) she did all this just to try and keep me...she didnt even have a pic of the ultrasound of the supposed first time she went to the other clinic and was very vague when I told her how they came abouts on telling her she was pregnant. I do care about her and all but I feel this was not a right thing for her to do to me...What do you think LS?
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 You say the sexual activeness was mostly due to her, so it's safe to say she likes sex a lot. Overly so, perhaps. That, and she lied about pregnancy to keep you. This could equate to many things. I don't know enough to make a 100% judgment, but I have a good idea what's up. So what's up? Tell me how much of this sounds... familiar. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonmentA pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluationIdentity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of selfImpulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviorAffective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)Chronic feelings of emptinessInappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 IMO, there's not enough evidence here to conclude that she lied to you. She may have. But why would she lie and then allow you to accompany her to a clinic where the truth would clearly be revealed? That doesn't make sense. It sounds like she may have gotten a genuine scare, maybe because of a missed period or something.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 yes..She wanted it a lot more than I did. She was even very dissapointed when I mentioned I didnt want to do it for a long while after we found out her blood test came out negative for being pregnant. She was saying i needed to "Take care of her" in that way I wanted to keep it quite short but yeah. She does come from a bad broken family. And is very attention starved. Some of that does sound quite familar...she doesnt like being alone, she loves feeling wanted.....also like for example I couldnt eat for quite a few days when she put that pregnancy scare on me...and she said she was eating lots.
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Demon, I think it's clear that this girl is troubled. Anyone that would lie about being pregnant to hold onto a guy isn't stable. I agree that this was a ploy to keep you entangled. That is a horrible thing to do on so many levels. As far as her being the one pushing for sexual activity- well, come on- you went ahead with it on more than one occasion, so you're hardly a "victim" in that sense;). I'd break up with her and put this behind you. Further contact with this girl will only bring you more drama.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 IMO, there's not enough evidence here to conclude that she lied to you. She may have. But why would she lie and then allow you to accompany her to a clinic where the truth would clearly be revealed? That doesn't make sense. It sounds like she may have gotten a genuine scare, maybe because of a missed period or something. I just find it quite odd how she brought it up AFTER i told her I wanted to call it off. When she did nothing about it before hand or didnt even let me know when she could have that week. Thats why its really strange and a lot of my friends are calling it BS.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Tell me exactly what her relationship with her parents is. And are her parents divorced? Give details.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Her mom is in a rehab clinc, living there till shes stable...was a serious drug addict. And she has no idea where her real father is. She wouldnt tell me much about her relationship with her folks when she was younger, just that they wouldnt give her much attention and ignore her lots. This girl at the moment is living with her grandma
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Ok, I am about 90% sure now (as opposed to 50% before) what she has. Let me sum it up for you. RUN.
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Her mom is in a rehab clinc, living there till shes stable...was a serious drug addict. And she has no idea where her real father is. She wouldnt tell me much about her relationship with her folks when she was younger, just that they wouldnt give her much attention and ignore her lots. This girl at the moment is living with her grandma Wow, she sounds like the hottest girl I ever dated. She wound up smearing strawberry jam all over my front door and vandalizing my car. If you want the same ending, stay with her.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 LMAO asuman, I love you. I've dated a psycho in my day, but my God, you have managed to pinpoint the worlds most insane females. No reflection on you, though. I think you're the man. You got some bad luck though
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 LMAO asuman, I love you. I've dated a psycho in my day, but my God, you have managed to pinpoint the worlds most insane females. No reflection on you, though. I think you're the man. You got some bad luck though Heh, it's true. There are actually only 2 girls that provide me with 100% of my "psycho exgirlfriend" stories. The second psycho was kind of worth it because she was by far the sexiest little vixen I have ever dated and will ever date as long as I live. Phew. Never again, but glad I did it.
Ariadne Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I brought it up to my girl that I'm just not ready to be with her I get a text from her that shes 3 months pregnant a preg test and came out negative What do you think LS? She got back at you good.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Ok, I am about 90% sure now (as opposed to 50% before) what she has. Let me sum it up for you. RUN. Was thinking it was somewhat of a personality disorder myself..I read a bit online about them this past week. My friends been saying shes prolly troubled/psycho themselves. Its hard to believe some people have this. As she works/goes to college and does things like a normal person. But when It comes to relationships...the true colors come out...I also forgot to mention that she was ready to drop her pants the first 15 mins of meeting me..so that also kinda threw me off
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Hell, she is a skank too. That's unfortunate.... Tell me if these symptoms sound more familiar... Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.Excessive concern with physical appearance.A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.Making rash decisions.[6]
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Was thinking it was somewhat of a personality disorder myself..I read a bit online about them this past week. My friends been saying shes prolly troubled/psycho themselves. Its hard to believe some people have this. As she works/goes to college and does things like a normal person. But when It comes to relationships...the true colors come out...I also forgot to mention that she was ready to drop her pants the first 15 mins of meeting me..so that also kinda threw me off College etc is irrelevant and means nothing. The most psychotic girlfriend I ever had was a Shakespearean scholar who spoke multiple languages and was an attorney.
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 God, Asuman, that description for some reason reminded me of the girl from the japanese horror film "The Audition". They don't share the same profession or anything, but it's creepy like that. Really, really psychopathicly creepy.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Hell, she is a skank too. That's unfortunate.... Tell me if these symptoms sound more familiar... Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.Excessive dramatics with exaggerated displays of emotions.Excessive sensitivity to criticism or disapproval.Inappropriately seductive appearance or behavior.Excessive concern with physical appearance.A need to be the center of attention (self-centeredness).Low tolerance for frustration or delayed gratification.Rapidly shifting emotional states that may appear shallow to others.Opinions are easily influenced by other people, but difficult to back up with details.Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are.Making rash decisions.[6] nearly all of those...Check Constant seeking of reassurance or approval.-check big time. She would always say things like "so what about us?" she would ask so many odd things about the relationship at times and finally... "Tendency to believe that relationships are more intimate than they actually are" -thats the one right there I was mainly looking for. She was treating this bf/gf relationship like it was a marriage! Saying how she wanted only us to be together on holidays and start a tradition...I was like wtf!?!?!
loveshy Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I am not sure if you care up of this girl.. then why would you break up with her.. @demonspawn... You cannot blame her for having sex with you.. She initiated it and you went for it, so you know what you were doing.. Probably she is having a very hard time to cope up... I kinda think you want to get back with her when everything is fine but that might just not happen.. Both of you will be ending up damaging the connection between you too. I think you need to tell her -- You are not leaving her.. But need to focus on yourself and that you need time to work on your own things!! Make it very clear!! Ignoring her would mean more trouble.. LOL what can I say...
Thomas X Forever Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Rofl. Sounds like you bagged a chicken with Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 I am not sure if you care up of this girl.. then why would you break up with her.. @demonspawn... You cannot blame her for having sex with you.. She initiated it and you went for it, so you know what you were doing.. Probably she is having a very hard time to cope up... I kinda think you want to get back with her when everything is fine but that might just not happen.. Both of you will be ending up damaging the connection between you too. I think you need to tell her -- You are not leaving her.. But need to focus on yourself and that you need time to work on your own things!! Make it very clear!! Ignoring her would mean more trouble.. LOL what can I say... Its not that. Im really a nice guy at heart and I never really been the dumper. But I think she has some serious probs. Just wanted more input from the great people on Ls:) Im gonna break it off..just need to do it nicely..I hate hurting people
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Its not that. Im really a nice guy at heart and I never really been the dumper. But I think she has some serious probs. Just wanted more input from the great people on Ls:) Im gonna break it off..just need to do it nicely..I hate hurting people Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is the best thing for you! The girl sounds pretty damaged. I feel bad that she has had the sort of life that she has. I worked with damaged girls in a group home for many years- the things they did to acquire validation was very sad to observe. Remaining entangled with this girl would suck the life energy out of you! So, yes, let her down easy and then get the hell out of there!
Author demonspawn Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 So I worked up the courage this morning and called it off. Told her on the fone. I find it kinda odd how she told me to "have a nice life" before she hung up. Then 5 mins later I get a text from her that said "thanks for something and nothing, have a nice life lol". Then about 30 minutes later. She calls me back to say she "had a nightmare about me and wanted to know if I was fine". I just told her im fine and that im gonna have a nice life and hung up. Dont u think thats odd?
asuman Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 So I worked up the courage this morning and called it off. Told her on the fone. I find it kinda odd how she told me to "have a nice life" before she hung up. Then 5 mins later I get a text from her that said "thanks for something and nothing, have a nice life lol". Then about 30 minutes later. She calls me back to say she "had a nightmare about me and wanted to know if I was fine". I just told her im fine and that im gonna have a nice life and hung up. Dont u think thats odd? No. She's pretty much doing the same thing all of us do when we get dumped. If you want to be nice to her, don't string her along by continuing to communicate with her.
Recommended Posts