lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Let me give a little background first: I met a guy on dating website, we emailed each other for a few weeks usually waiting a couple days inbetween each email. One day a get an email from him giving me his phone number saying I could call or text him. I decided to text and said now you have my number too. We texted a few times after that. A week ago I was out and I got a text from him saying that he would like to hang out with me I told him I would like to as well, we had a difficult time arranging a date because we both have kids, I have mine during the week him on the weekends anyways we ended up texting each other for a few hours that night then he said he would talk to me tomorrow, then tomorrow came no word from him. I waited 4 days then I decided to text him he seemed very enthusaustic to talk to me, I told him that I wasn't sure if he was still interested but I could get a sitter during the week he said that was awesome and yes he was interested. Later on that night we texted eachother again for a few hours and it turned out we have alot in common and I had fun talking with him. Again he said he would talk to me tomorrow and still no word? this was 2 days ago? we were able to arrange a meeting for next week we have a date, time and place set up. I am confused now is he interested or not?
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Hes interested. How bout talking on the phone like grown folk.
Art_Critic Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I think he is or was interested... but if I may make a comment.. You both need to pick the effing phone up.. stop the text messaging and interact like 2 adults looking to get to know one another.. Texting is an informal method of communicating and certainly not the proper format for getting to know someone.. In fact.. the texting is what has most likely caused much of the struggle of getting together up till this point At this point.. you need to dial the digits and talk to him or leave a message for him to call you back... JMO
totallyblank Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 First off, i'd stop texting him so much and start talking like...your voice texting can be taken so many different ways, sometimes it's hard to understand what people really mean when they say things in words rather then through voice. He might just be saying "talk to you tomorrow" like ttyl or ttyt, like shorten phrases but not really meaning much you know what i mean? because it's possible when u talk to him on the phone he was really just meaning ill talk to you later...which could mean whenever. Sounds like he's into you, trying to set up times to meet up.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 I know what you mean I have been thinking the same thing, I would like to know atleast what he sounds like and talk to him on the phone before we meet. I guess I was hopeing that he would make that first attempt to call, maybe I should?
lora22 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I know what you mean I have been thinking the same thing, I would like to know atleast what he sounds like and talk to him on the phone before we meet. I guess I was hopeing that he would make that first attempt, maybe I should? YES, you should...in your OP you said he told you to call or text him - you chose to text him. Ideally, sure he should call you. But it sounds to me like he's taking his cue from you. So go ahead and call him.
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I know what you mean I have been thinking the same thing, I would like to know atleast what he sounds like and talk to him on the phone before we meet. I guess I was hopeing that he would make that first attempt to call, maybe I should? BTW if he has a problem talking on the phone for some reason, that might be a red flag.
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I do think there is interest, but neither of you will know until you meet in person. I don't like that you are thinking of initiating once again when he hasn't followed through on contacting you like he said he would. That stands out to me as a small red flag. He said he would contact you, this is the second time he is being a little flaky. He should be putting in some effort getting to know you. You haven't met in person yet- so none of this could mean much. I do however think I'd wait to hear from him. He said "I'll talk to you tomorrow"... and didn't get back to you for 4 days. He said the same thing again, and it's been two days. Yes, he could be laid back, pre-occupied, busy, etc. However- I do think he is responsible for the follow through of contacting you after saying he would. To tell someone you'll talk to them the next day and then not talk to them for 4 days is a little rude in my books.
lora22 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I agree with you D-Lish it is rude; one of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says s/he will call, and then s/he doesn't. However (and I can't believe that I'm defending this), I also think that some people tend to say that out of habit, with no intention of calling, and they don't realize they're doing it and/or that it's rude. Second, being a little flaky about that, or being busy CAN be a very valid and understandable reason for that behavior at this stage in their relationship - I agree that he should be trying to get to know her, but maybe since they've already set up the date he doesn't feel it's necessary to "get to know her" via text message (which to him probably appears to be her preferred method of communication). I could be totally wrong, I've never tried internet dating and I don't tend to read the threads about it, but it seems to me that the point of it is to make contact, have some kind of introduction and brief contact with the intention of setting up a real date? Which they did. Maybe he doesn't want to invest more time, etc. until they meet in person? I don't know, I think I'm rambling and will probably rethink most of this later, but D-Lish is right - you'll hopefully figure it out when you meet in person.
Art_Critic Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 When I was doing online dating every now and then I would run into someone that would email for weeks on end instead of wanting to meet up and if I would try for a meet up then it would go something like a merry go round and then I realized that some people that are online never want to actually meet people.. they are just into it for the interaction of email, texting and never meeting.. What a waste... It seems to me that he has placed you into a category that maybe he feels you don't want to meet up.. When online dating you meet someone as fast as you can after the connection is made.. Nothing sucks worse than to spend hours typing emails and hours talking on the phone only to find out that you don't connect when you do meet face to face.. Call the guy... As a rule I wouldn't say to call the guy but in this case you should..
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I agree that it has become common place to say good- bye with "okay, talk to you tomorrow!" At least a meeting is set up and the OP will know soon enough if they have any chemistry! I'd play it cool and see how that first date goes. Best of luck with that!
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Thank you for all the great responses it has really helped alot. I am new to this whole online dating thing, I was in a relationship for 6 years and we were engaged. Several months ago we broke up and this is actually my first date or encounter or whatever with anyone since the break up and or in 6 years or so. I am thinking that if I do not hear from him by early next week, I will call to confirm with him. That way I can actually talk to him and if he is not interested hopefully he will tell me because I reallly don't want to be stood up. And texting could be taken the wrong way I never thought of that so thank you.
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 When I was doing online dating every now and then I would run into someone that would email for weeks on end instead of wanting to meet up and if I would try for a meet up then it would go something like a merry go round and then I realized that some people that are online never want to actually meet people.. they are just into it for the interaction of email, texting and never meeting.. What a waste... It seems to me that he has placed you into a category that maybe he feels you don't want to meet up.. When online dating you meet someone as fast as you can after the connection is made.. Nothing sucks worse than to spend hours typing emails and hours talking on the phone only to find out that you don't connect when you do meet face to face.. Call the guy... As a rule I wouldn't say to call the guy but in this case you should.. Online dating has changed Art- I guarantee you wouldn't like it if you had to step back into it now! Everyone is flaky- and there are so many people posing as other people, I enjoyed my experience in the beginning... but I have a hard time taking it seriously anymore. The last couple years have sucked, I don't trust anyone is who they say they are! (but I digress). I still think she should wait for his contact. If he hadn't done this once already, I might say otherwise... But, I am bothered a bit that she has to reach out to him twice to remind him she is interested. I think a good way to play it is when he confirms the date- she can suggest a phone call. I don't know what is nagging me about this- I guess I think I'd feel better if he was putting in a little more effort, ya know?
Author lucy9216 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 I think I will start comming in here more often, sure beats talking to my man hater friend Lol. She is really negative and her advice has caused me to start alot of fights with previous relationships. So again Thank you :-)
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 I think I will start comming in here more often, sure beats talking to my man hater friend Lol. She is really negative and her advice has caused me to start alot of fights with previous relationships. So again Thank you :-) Well there are man haters here too... and there are annoying man-boys that post here... But for the most part, people genuinely want to help out. I think it's too difficult to write anyone off until you meet them and get a better feel for things. Good luck on your date. I remember my first online date- I ended up dating him for a year. I've met some good ones and some crazy ones.
Author lucy9216 Posted July 10, 2009 Author Posted July 10, 2009 I met the guy I was talking to online last night and I am really happy I did and yes he is definatley interested. I had a great time, felt really comfortable talking with him. I am going to take my time but thanks for the replys I almost wanted to cancel on him because of the whole I will call you tomorrow thing but didn't hear from him tomorrow but I am glad I decided to go through with it. So thank you and he did say that he wants to see me again so looking forward to it.
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