OucHmyHearT Posted November 3, 2003 Share Posted November 3, 2003 well...its been 3 months since she broke up with me after a 3 year relationship...i've been so heartbroken since then...and today i just feel soo down and out... she has a weblog online..i dunno if she knows that i read it...but yah...i do...and i might be jumping to conclusions...but well the first part of her blog today: "saturday... we did it! haha... actually, it was sunday morning." I guess maybe i'm looking too much into it....i know its not my business...but i dunno...i guess i just imagine her having sex with this other guy...and geez...that really brought me down today...=(...i shouldnt even be reading her blog or be thinking about her at all..but i cant help it...ugh...this sucks... Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 "We did it" clearly means that she hooked up with this guy. And if it was on Sunday Morning, it was probably a product of drunkennes.....so yes, I can be 99.9% sure that she had sex with him. The guy will probably use her and then she'll need you and you'll fall for her crap once again. Believe me...I was that girl...did the same thing...ya know the "you're better off without me...I need to find myself." When in all reality, I had the hots for some other guy and was too chicken to tell the guy I had dated for four years and broke up with because we needed to "work on things and I need to work on myself" They were all lines!!! I'm sorry but that's the truth, girls can be just as deceptive as guys can be. I regret it now, wish I would have just been honest. And you know what? I would probably have had a lot more respect for him had he played it cool and not gotten all upset with me about it and cried and begged me back and stuff. So play it cool man! Don't let her know you are hurting, be a little cocky, girls like confidence. and by all means why the hell is she posting stuff that's tongue in cheek on her website...she knows you will read it....she is trying to hurt you on purpose. Stand up for yourself, don't let any girl do that to you! Don't give her the pleasure of reading that stuff....and babe, time heals all wounds. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 thanks for the reply trixie...yah...i know you're right...i really haven't been playing it cool for the past 3 months we've been broken up...i've never really been hurt before in my life...she was my first love...and man...do i really love her...what hurts more...is that we've only been with eachother...we lost our virginity to eachother so yah....i guess that makes it hurt all the more...yah..i really DO need to move on...I just kept hanging on these past 3 months...well...its not like im hanging on now...it just hurts like hell....really really hurts...thats all...but yah..like you said...time heals all....i just wish time would go by a lot faster... Link to post Share on other sites
innocent Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 I agree w/ 4trixie, your ex is obviously flaunting this for some reason she wants everyone to know....so just think about the fact that she probably is NOT the same girl that you used to date, she has turned into someone else.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 it's not really a public blog though...so no one really knows about it. I do...but i dont know if she remembers or even thinks about me being able to read it... Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 I know what you mean my ex had lost his virginity to me too. And so it makes losing her 100x harder. But it will get better. And maybe one day ya'll can be friends. After the truth came out to my ex and I finally told him what I was up to even though we had been broke up, he got over the initial shock...he was eventually okay, after about 4mths. And now we can finally be decent to each other and be friends. It was hard too because I knew I had done this to him....even though I had never meant to hurt him. Feelings are a funny thing, and I realized once I got out on my own alittle bit, I didn't need him so much anymore....he had been my security blanket....same situation, except I'm on the other side of it. Maybe that's why she doens't really want to talk to you, she feels bad when she does...that's how I was...I was fine until I talked to him and had to hear about how much I hurt him and it made me feel bad,and being at this age, you are only thinking of yourself, you want fun stuff in your life and only fun stuff! But both of you all are young....you were in the same situation we were...only dating each other during years you should be single and not so heavy. Go out and have a good time, but don't treat girls any differently just because you've been hurt once. I know your heart hurts and eventually it won't hurt so much anymore. Your heart will heal if you let it. Letting it go is the hardest part....and always remember this....if it's meant to be it will be. Sometimes the best way to show your love, is to let it go...I know it sucks. But if you handle this well, then you will be rewarded for it later...what goes around comes around. Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Oh yes that's true...people don't always stay the same when they are growing up. You may be in love with someone who doesn't exist anymore. People change alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 thanks trixie...your words really help.. yah...its hard...i kept telling myself for 3 months...if i really loved her i would let her go and do what she wants to do...let her do her own thing...i would be able to let her go for maybe a couple days...then it will all come back again...these whole 3 months have been a seesaw...both on my behalf...and also hers....when i let her go and dont talk to her for a couple days...she'll miss me and come back...then i'll be holding back feelings while she's telling them... i think the constant seesawing of feelings and stuff really took a toll on what our relationship really was before we broke up....i think we really DID have something special...i dont think she was just spittin lines at me...the other guy...yah...he just happened to be there...and whatever...i'm upset and bitter....but i dont totally blame her for everything....i really do love her..and it will be hard as hell to let that go... but hey...i dont really have a choice...either sit here and mope about her...wasting my life away while she gets on with hers just fine...or actually get on with my own life... you said it just right trixie...i've been in this serious relationship from the age of 16-20 pretty much...end of high school...first 2 years of college...it really took a toll on my social life....i really didnt mind it cuz i was happy with my gf...but now without a gf...i'm kinda stuck being my 3rd year in college and not knowing too many people...its not high school anymore....its hard...i really get lonely a lot...ugh..my college is sooo boring...i go to UCSD....its so anti social....blah....oh well....thanks for the kind words I'll get better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 so how you doin trixie? what brings you to the forums? Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Oh well I just had my heart broken by this ****ty guy, this was the guy that I liked after my bf and I broke up...so yeah I fell hard, it was stupid, and i was just looking to see if anyone else had the same experience...however I found yours and it was just like what I went through a year ago! Go read about the guy with the farty cat, it will brighten up your night! Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 so what about your ex bf of 4 years...how was that relationship? Good? did you miss him a lot after...or did you pretty much forget about him after you got with that other guy? I still think my relationship with my ex was really special and good...it could just be that i'm being an idiot and i just need to get over it...but oh wells =) Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Well after all the hurt I caused from hooking up with someone else....who did end up to be an ass...My ex went nuts for alittle bit and partied a whole lot and hooked with girls and stuff. We did not get along for quite a while and did not speak for a while. There would be times when we didn't talk to each other for weeks. Anyways...throughout all that we have managed to stay friends. He is still my best friend. It took a long time to get over alot of stuff, but when you go through all the hell we did before we even went out...you tend to have a bond with someone. It's only not a physical one for me. I'm sad about it, but I can't change my feelings. It's been a year since all that happened and we are finally cool with each other doing our own things, but still staying friends. It does make it weird though so maybe just not speaking would be better for ya....however, easier said than done! Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 yah...i think the best thing would be NOT to talk to her...but then...even if i did want to...she's shut me out of her life for the past 2 weeks....before that we talked all the time...and she seemed like she wanted to get back too...then ALL of a sudden...she wouldnt talk to me AT ALL....she would hang up on me...block me online...all that stuff....so yah...it sux...i already assumed it was cuz she was starting to see another guy....seirously...she could have at least told me she was seeing another guy...instead of just the slam the door in my face thing...i havent really talked to her since....wont give a chance to talk at all... Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 you didnt really tell me how your first relationship was with that guy.... how was it going for 4 years....was it bad at all? probably wasnt good enough that you had to get out of it right? i guess i'm trying to compare and see how my relationship stands....if its any better...just the same... Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Yeah it does sound like she is seeing another guy seriously. However it is wrong if she doesn't want to just be honest. Maybe she's afraid of how you will react, or she feels like it's none of your business. I played that card too...we aren't together so don't ask me what I'm doing. Cause I knew WHAT I WAS DOING!!! However at the time we were "supposed" to be working on getting back together. But I wanted some fun....with someone who was fun and not so attached to me like a puppy. I was tired of the fighting, the hurt feelings, and feeling like I was the mother who had to take care of him. The other guy was like fresh air. no past, no drama, self-sufficent and arrogant. But the no feelings part is what ended up kicking me in the teeth. I know you think this relationship was special....I know mine was too. But it is what it is: your first true love. You never forget your first true love. But it's not like it's your last. You mentioned that because of this relationship you are now in your third year and don't know anybody. I'm sure you got friends, you need to get out and have some fun....meet some other people surround yourself with others....it will help you heal faster Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Well let's see. My bf got me out of a bad crowd in highschool...ditched his own crappy friends for me. He was good to me....really loved me...however there were problems...and I was young and naive and wasn't always nice to him. I hadn't really experienced much of life so I looked down on him sometimes for his choices...I ended up becoming like his saving grace and it was uncomfortable for me....because he didn't always listen and would get stuck in bad situations and I loved him but after a while I got burnt out and wanted to see what else was out there. But he did treat me good. Maybe a little too good....he wore his heart on his sleeve and let me stomp on him sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 oh yah..i have friends of course...just people are usually busy...i'll get out though... yah...i always thought it sucked when people told me...thats because its your first love....its like geez....everyone is jinxed to have to feel true love and be broken hearted? No one is supposed to keep their first true love? I guess i really wanted a dream situation....i'm one weird guy...i really want her to be my one and only...i dunno..i thought it was special....haha i sound like a girl...but yah...its not like i'm ugly or really anti-social and can't get another girl....i'm sure i'll find someone else...but i really really did love this girl... from the way you described your story...i could totally take it and apply it to her situation...or our situation rather...its really sad...i really dont want to lose her...oops...bad...i already have....i keep going back and forth...thinking i dont want to lose her...trying to find hope when its clearly gone....i guess i have a problem with letting go...i've never been depressed...usually am a happy and not very emotional person...so this has been hard on me.... i need a rebound girl...=) Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 hmm...yah...i think i've been a little bitch....i've been so emotional and i've been showing it....i gave her a lot of power over me...maybe ego trips..especially since she's got a couple guys always jockin her....i just added to it....i cant really do anything to take that all back though huh....being all weak and stuff like that... Link to post Share on other sites
DVNPRT6 Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Hey man, I can totally relate to what u have said here...Girls just plain old BREAK YOUR HEART .. I have been hurting for 3 months now...I would have never imagined I would still be like this, thinking of us and how it used to be like 99% of my day..I know how it is..I cant believe that alot of dudes go thru this S@*% too like yourself...Hang in there bro...I wish i could tell you that 'time heals all' but i cant because i am in ur boat too..I'd love for myself to get over it..I want to in the worst way for ME for MYSELF, because I was great to her and she left me, went out with another guy..Its had cuz u love the person so much....The nice ones always get burned! bottom line Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 I gave the same advice to my bro...who's girlfriend is doing the same thing to him right now. Be cocky, act like you don't need her....rise above this situation, and definately go out with other girls. And yeah the response to your first love thing....hey I thought mine was gonna last forever....that we were special too and it would be like a Hollywood movie, how our love would overcome. Then I hit reality. Do you think guys hurt worse when a girl hurts them because it's harder for a guy to fall in love and when they do they finally do they fall really hard?? Link to post Share on other sites
DVNPRT6 Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Yes, definately... Take me for instance..I was a playa-playa...kissing lots of girls (like 2 a week) every weekend...Then I finally gave my heart to a girl, which is hard for me to do in the first place..Gave up my game playing...and got Burned BAD!! So to anser ur ? Trix...definately it gets to guys WORSE... Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 But the bad thing about that is guys will tend to take that out on the girls they are with and treat them like crap when they weren't the ones to hurt ya! It sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
DVNPRT6 Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 Hey trixie...Email me..I would love ur insights and views on some stuff.. Its (removed) Hope to hear from you.. Maybe I can help you too... Night Link to post Share on other sites
Author OucHmyHearT Posted November 4, 2003 Author Share Posted November 4, 2003 yah...i didnt fall too hard until later after 2.5 years with her actually....so it was almost right before the breakup....but we were in love before...she knew and i knew....she would always tell people that we were going on 3 years strong...stuff like that....so yah...when i fell...i fell hard....and it hurts hard.... one thing it seems like....i know she still has feelings for me...she's been going through this whole moody thing...but it seems like she's trying to justify breaking up with me....like she wont let it go...she'll keep coming back to it..so i know she's thinking about me still...cuz its been 3 months...she could just turn her head and not even think about me...but i know she does think about it...and it seems like she's making excuses as to why its ok for her to be with another guy and not me...like she's making excuses to make herself feel better for breakin up with me...like it might have been a bad decision..i dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
4trixie Posted November 4, 2003 Share Posted November 4, 2003 This new relationship she is in is probably a shaky one. She probably knows it's a bad decision but does not want to admit it. She may want you to be there when this one fails her. Don' t be that guy! Link to post Share on other sites
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