tommo66 Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Hi my gf dumped me about 2 weeks ago, we had been seeing each other for 6 months, she had just came out of a 3 year relationship with another guy everything was going fine, then out of the blue she dumped me, i was shocked and gutted, did`nt see it coming but she wanted too remain good friends, so i agreed, i think clinging on too get her back. about 4 days later a friend of mine who lived near her asked me if we had split, so i said yes, he then told me that she was back with her ex bf. in a weird sort of way i was relieved because i now had got the answer why she had split with me. so when she called me too ask how i was, i told her i knew about her and her ex, she tried too make all kinds of excuses, but it told her not too bother, she said she was sorry and she did`nt want too hurt me anymore, but she said she still had feelings for him, so i just wished her luck, did`nt get angry or mad, we should of been going away for my birthday soon, and she said she would still like too come, i said how you going too explain that, she said it`s none of his business because i`m not back with him. straight away i deleted her off facebook, and she text me saying ok i understand i replied well your back with him now so you can add him too you.r profile, she said or so you think x well i left it at that and have been NC now for a week and i`m feeling ok. But why is she still denying that she is with him, when friends have seen them together. why does she keep texting me, its always , hi, how are you, or are you ok x and on facebook even though i`ve deleted her she still keeps using the poke button too poke me. please could some one shed any light on this, eve though i`ve told her too leave me alone thanks
LisaUk Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Honestly, I don't know, but what I do know is that her beahviour is unacceptable and cruel and you are right to stay away. If she calls, texts or pokes! ignore her, completely, don't tell her to go away or anything else, complete and total silence. She'll soon get the message. You have to think of yourself here. You sound lovely by the way, I'm sorry this happened to you, you deserve better.
Exit Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 She is just trying to hang on to you in case things don't work out with this guy again. Don't let her play you like that. Stay 100% out of her life until she can make a decision and stand by it. There's nothing attractive about a girl who behaves like this anyway. Look at what she's doing, offering to see you on your birthday even though she's back with him, saying it's none of his business, you don't want a girl like that. You were pretty much a rebound for her, sorry to say it. And don't be surprised if she starts pursuing you even harder if they end up breaking up again. But you need to respect yourself, and even though part of you wants to be with her, you can't give in every time she decides she wants to be with you.
addy Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I'm not proud of some of the things I have done in my past but I did something similar to this... I was with my boyfriend for 4 years and broke it off when I felt he couldn't give me what I felt I deserved. I did love him but felt I had to move on so I began dating another one of my exes to get over him ( I did have feelings for him). I tried to keep contact with my 4 year ex because deep down I still loved him and hoped maybe one day he would change...he didn't and once I saw he would never I let it go completely. Ladies and men never ever ever do the rebound thing it's just a waste of time. But i'll tell you this much if she didn't have any kind of feeling for you she would cut you off completely but sounds like she is playing games because pehaps she is wondering if she is making the right choices. Its up to you if you really want to wait around for her decision... but I think you shouldn't when you really love and want someone there are no ifs, buts or maybes. The choice should be simple...but this is just my opinion don't take my word for it I'm in a interesting situation myself.
asuman Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Don't play second fiddle to anyone. You've done a good job of maintaining your dignity in this situation, it seems to me. Keep that up. If you let her treat you like a doormat, she won't respect you in the end anyway. Take a stand and stick to it. It's either you all the way, or you're gone.
boogieboy Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 She might be calling you to ask how your doing just so she knows you havent moved on. She might be doing that to stroke her own ego. So if she calls again, dont tell her any of your business. She wants to know if youre still after her. Or just dont answer the calls at all.
Author tommo66 Posted July 3, 2009 Author Posted July 3, 2009 Thanks for the info, when she did finish with me she said that she was most probably makeing the biggest mistake of her life, but hey who knows. also could`nt understand why she got back with her ex because all she did was call him bad names, funny how things change. well, got home from work tonight and turned my mobile phone on, and she has sent me a text message, it said, hope your ok bab x, i have`nt replied nor am i going too, i just smiled too myself, even though i deleted her off facebook, it looks as though she still has`nt got the message, and she dumped me. getting better everyday.
girl68 Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 Good for you. She's young, she knows not why she *shouldn't* be talking to you, or messaging you, or poking you.
gypsi Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 i personally think that she was never really over her ex, she met you and tried to move on but then when her ex showed interest again she ran back. She is now feeling guilty for doing this to you, coz she knows you are an amazing guy and that she hurt you! So these text are sent purely because she has a guilty concsious and she just wants to make sure that you are ok. A girl i know did the exact same thing to a guy.
Author tommo66 Posted July 4, 2009 Author Posted July 4, 2009 Well got another text today asking how i was, she also said that she was not back with her ex, i still did`nt reply nor am i going too its funny really because i`ve just seen a friend of hers and they said, so sorry it did`nt work out and they could`nt understand why she got back with him. i think its really funny now, its has though she does`nt want me too know. still NC though.
hrtbrk hotel tenant Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 yeah man dont sweat it ppl rebound quickly to another relationship b/c they are unsure of themselves and what they want. i am kinda goin thru the same thing:ex went to see another guy day after we broke up. and she has been talkin and seein him since and itz only been a month since break up. it bothers me but want u gonna do...dont give ppl power over u be in control of ur destiny kid be strong.
Author tommo66 Posted October 11, 2009 Author Posted October 11, 2009 Hi, just a quick update, well i`ve been no contact for nearly 4 months, it does get easier with time. i believe no contact is the only way to get over someone, you think about them less and less everyday i`m still single but loveing it, i`m financialy better off, because my ex did not have a job. i heard about 2 weeks ago that she is getting married next year, and to be honest with you it did`nt really bother me, i hope it works out for her, yeah i was hurt when she dumped me but that was the past now i just look too the future. Calliguy and Boogieboy, i owe a special thanks too you two, i read your posts about no contact, and it helped me get over my ex. NO CONTACT its the only way.
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