mmk1 Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 My ex of 3 years broke up with me last October and we've tried twice to stay friends but it has been difficult and twice we've stopped speaking. The closeness we had has been replaced with distant, superficial conversation. Recently, we had lunch and after more distant, superficial conversation I called her to ask her if it felt akward and she said it did not and basically hung up with me. We exchange two sharp emails right after, ending with me saying she was acting like a jerk not to talk to me about it. She did not respond. A week later, I had lunch with a mutual friend who told me I needed to stop pissing my ex off by various things I did. I said my ex needed to think about stop pissing me off and I wrote my ex an email telling to stop complaining to others and keep any issues she had with me between us. No response. I saw her twice this week outside the office for work. We passed each other on Tuesday and said an unemotional hi to each other and did not stop. Today, I saw her and we sat in the same room and she ignored me, even when she walked 2 feet by me. I went to say hi anyway and she ignored me to keep talking to someone else for at least a minute before she finally looked up and said "what's up? and I told her I wanted to say hi. She said a fake hi and I walked away. I called her on the way back to the office and she did not answer. I did not leave a message and no call back. Should I simply take my cue from her and ignore each other in the future and does it look lame and weak to say hello? Can't decide and don't want to look weak and needy, just civil. Any thoughts?
Cattery Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Sounds like it's at the point where it's not a good idea to say hello anymore. I was in the exact same situation when I was much less mature, only I was the one who didn't want to talk and responded with cold hellos when he solicited them. The fake pleasantries were offensive to me since I was over the relationship but having a hard time letting go; the relationship needed to die and it served no one to pretend that things were already buddy-buddy with us. I just wanted to be over it and move on; it was hard when he kept trying to play nice. It felt mean but I didn't want to talk, not even to say "I don't want to talk anymore." I just wanted it to fade away and be done. He was definitely being more mature than I was. It got easier the more I healed. I was the dumper, too. Eventually I felt better and started saying hello. He had to leave the ball in my court for awhile, though.
NopeNah Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Maybe start greeting her with the middle finger? Seriously, I would back off with the "hi's,hellos,ect." Looks like it's a one way street going no where at this point. Time to stop wasting your gas.
TaraMaiden Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I'm sounding like a stuck record here, but: Find a member called 'Caliguy'. Read the thread in his signature, on No Contact'. Follow it to the absolute letter, without question, without exception. Follow it to the absolute letter, without question, without exception. Yes, I put that twice, because you really, really need to do that. Good luck.
Recommended Posts