lovebound Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 So here is the deal, I finally asked this guy if he wanted to hang out and go to a movie, get to know each other, and he ended up turning me down saying that he only wanted to be friends. ????? The thing is that I would have never asked him if it werent because he was the first one to show interest in me two weeks prior. Before then, I had no idea that he could be remotely interested. As a matter of fact, i had talked to him many times but never thought of it that way, perhaps because I had seen him around so many times and I considered him one of our group of friends. Two weeks ago i started to talk further to him at the pool, then I noticed a difference, he started to be nice, served me drinks, spent lots of time talking to me and even invited me to his place to hang out and eat something that day together, just the two of us and his roomates, he said he wanted to spend time with me, he even walked me to my car. After that day, then it went back to normal, so I thought to make a move and see if he was really interested. A friend of mine suggested that perhaps he did not know how interested I was, so I decided to show a bit more obvious interest, but he turned me down. All i did was ask him if he wanted to do something together. I get lots of people telling me I am so nice and beautiful and how come I am still single, which is flattering, but i do not understand how come he turned me down when all i wanted was to get to know him better, first as a friend of course, I never mentioned anything else. There is nothing wrong with a "date" if we want to call it that. Well, I said to him that friends is great of course, no big deal, fair enough. My question is now, since he is always around all the time in the places I hang out with my friends, how should i behave now when i see him? I still like him, he sparked my curiosity since that day. The world is not ending for me, but I am a bit dissapointed. So how should I behave now to attract him back if it is possible and to not appear like pathetic to him? Should i even bother?
carhill Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Any chance he has a girlfriend? Maybe it was just a situational ego boost for him. You know how it is when you pay a little attention to a guy who you think likes you and then, when he asks you out, you look at him and can never imagine kissing him? It felt good for your ego to get boosted from his attention and proposal, but you have no real interest in him or going out with him. Well, it works that way for guys too, except it's a bit harder to execute regularly unless he's universally attractive. Should you bother? Well, he knows you like him and he knows how to find you. I'd say let him bother next
Author lovebound Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 Well, unless he got a girlfriend in the last two weeks, as far as i know he is single and have not seen him with anyone in the last two weeks...
boogieboy Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Your intention is that youre interested in him, so dont try to "mask" it under bieng friends, you know what you want. When a guy says "just friends" he really means it. If he was really interested, after you made you obvious moves, he would make his move. He would never say just friends and then back off. You dont have to avoid him, but you dont have to engage him either. Dont try to attract him, leave him be.
carhill Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 A man's actions define him. Review his actions and find the clarity you seek. It's there. How to behave around him in the future? Polite and friendly, but not personable, perhaps like you would with an acquaintance. No outward signs of familiarity. No flirting. Men see what they want and seek it out.
sugarmomma Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Don't bother. I would act as if he was invisble. That will surely get his attention. He is so irrelevent. Why would you still like someone who has blatantly rejected you? You may want to work on your self esteem.
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