IcemanJB Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 This is mainly a vent by me. In a nutshell, I cannot. get. my. ex. out. of. my. head. We split about 8 months ago, and I've since graduated college, landed a great job, moved into a nice apartment, gotten in good shape, picked up a hobby that I love, and my friends and I are closer than ever. So it's not like I'm not moving ahead with my life, I'm not unhappy...she just won't go away. There's even a couple girls that I know are interested in me, and I like them...but the ex just won't leave! So it's not really fair to them. I don't initiate anything with her anymore (she does every week or so)...and I did the NC thing for a few months already, which she honored completely after I asked her to leave me alone. I KNOW she isn't right for me right now. I just don't get it. It's just really frustrating. Is it normal?
Lyssa Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I just don't get it. It's just really frustrating. Is it normal? It's normal. I remember it took me much longer to get him out of my head. I went out with friends, took up fencing and tennis, kept myself busy with work and activities - that helped a lot. One day, I just realised that I didn't think about him at all. That felt so good and what a relief! You'll get her out of your head, don't beat yourself up if you haven't already - getting over someone takes time.
dreamergrl Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 This is mainly a vent by me. In a nutshell, I cannot. get. my. ex. out. of. my. head. We split about 8 months ago, and I've since graduated college, landed a great job, moved into a nice apartment, gotten in good shape, picked up a hobby that I love, and my friends and I are closer than ever. So it's not like I'm not moving ahead with my life, I'm not unhappy...she just won't go away. There's even a couple girls that I know are interested in me, and I like them...but the ex just won't leave! So it's not really fair to them. I don't initiate anything with her anymore (she does every week or so)...and I did the NC thing for a few months already, which she honored completely after I asked her to leave me alone. I KNOW she isn't right for me right now. I just don't get it. It's just really frustrating. Is it normal? I've gone through these spats. They come and go. Get busy! Go do some fun stuff. Go to Summer Fest! Stick with the NC.
Author IcemanJB Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 Summerfest sounds good. I will be lighting off copious amounts of fireworks this weekend, so that should help too. I guess other than the typical "keep moving ahead, keep active" (which I'm doing), is there a special...'tactic' I guess, to use that would be helpful? The thing is, there is no avoiding her. She's living with my sister, whom I hang out with a lot.
dreamergrl Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Summerfest sounds good. I will be lighting off copious amounts of fireworks this weekend, so that should help too. I guess other than the typical "keep moving ahead, keep active" (which I'm doing), is there a special...'tactic' I guess, to use that would be helpful? The thing is, there is no avoiding her. She's living with my sister, whom I hang out with a lot. That sucks! I suggest spending time with your sister outside of her home. Surely you're sister should understand.
Author IcemanJB Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 That sucks! I suggest spending time with your sister outside of her home. Surely you're sister should understand. For now that's what I've been doing - we'll go to a bar, movie, whatever. She usually mentions something funny my ex said/did, but I think my sis pretty much thinks I'm passed that (I told her a couple months ago not to walk on egg shells for me regarding the ex). I don't want to cause her any drama at all. Just yesterday the ex texted me something that reminded her of me...blah. I'm almost considering just facing this thing head on - just dealing with if I have to see my ex, maybe I'll get used to it. Tell me this is a horrible idea, lol.
dreamergrl Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 For now that's what I've been doing - we'll go to a bar, movie, whatever. She usually mentions something funny my ex said/did, but I think my sis pretty much thinks I'm passed that (I told her a couple months ago not to walk on egg shells for me regarding the ex). I don't want to cause her any drama at all. Just yesterday the ex texted me something that reminded her of me...blah. I'm almost considering just facing this thing head on - just dealing with if I have to see my ex, maybe I'll get used to it. Tell me this is a horrible idea, lol. It could be good or bad. Maybe it will help you deal with it, maybe it will make it harder. Maybe you should tell her to stop texting crap like that to you. How did she end up living with your sister??
Author IcemanJB Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 It could be good or bad. Maybe it will help you deal with it, maybe it will make it harder. Maybe you should tell her to stop texting crap like that to you. How did she end up living with your sister?? I told her to stop texting/contacting me earlier this year until I said otherwise (which she did for about 3 months! and then sent me a random text THE SAME DAY I was going to break no contact). At the time I honestly felt completely OK with everything. Then we ran into each other a couple times, got coffee after that...and clearly there's something still there. But it's not good for either of us. I have to give her credit for how's she's handled everything though - I will always respect her for that. But she has some issues she needs to work out BY HERSELF, which we've both agreed on. My sister and I both got to know her a couple years ago as she started going to school here (she's from Chicago, so I don't think she knew many people up here). She stayed at my parents' place a couple winters ago right before the holidays, and that's how all this started. She has a similar weird sense of humor to mine and my sister's, so she fit in right away. That's the condensed version.
dreamergrl Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 It's a tough situation. If it were me, I'd be avoiding seeing her as much as possible. But then again, since it's quite unavoidable, maybe just get it over and done with. Explain to her that you don't feel you can be buddy buddy with her, and do the same with your sister.
Recommended Posts