gorillacupcakes Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 Wow, I haven't posted in a little while but I still read posts on here weekly for extra support really. It's almost been five months since the break up with my ex of 3 years and I have come a long way. I am no longer in a deep depression to where I can't leave my bed, can't eat, can't sleep, or not even attempt to do anything productive. I moved in with a friend last month and I think that's helped a bit. I'm taking active steps in getting over it all and trying to get her out of my mind, I just found out she had a new boyfriend which was kind of weird but not really bothersome. I don't want to be with her or anything so I don't understand why she is still in my thoughts everyday, I don't know if it's her I miss or just a relationship. Like I said I am no longer in a deep depression but each day is still somewhat gloomy and all I can think about is how god damn depressed I was before and fearing feeling that way again. Still scared I won't ever be myself again, scared I won't find love again, and as much as I know how irrational these thoughts are - they are impossible to shake. I just want to feel how I felt before I ever met her or how I felt when I was with her... anything but how I feel now, anticipating the day when I don't dwell on when I was with her and reflecting everyday on how depressed I was after we broke up. I don't know if that will ever come. I'm so sick of these repetitive thoughts of loneliness and emptiness but I'll just keep hoping and moving.
lizzy_09 Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I don't want to be with her or anything so I don't understand why she is still in my thoughts everyday, I don't know if it's her I miss or just a relationship. It's normal, cause you miss that feeling of someone loving you and NOT for the reason that you miss her. We often encounter flashbacks of the good old times together even if that person treated you like "$@+" (pardon my language). :laugh:The most important thing right now is healing yourself. Once you've fully recovered, you'll be able to put that bad experience behind you so that next time you get involved, you'd know what to expect. Keep yourself busy. Find something that could mentally challenge you. I know that helps cause it help me. If pouring out frustrations here helps, then why not.
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