goin out with ex on first date still tryin to NC though

[hrtbrk hotel tenant]

Okay so the love of my life broke up with me about a month ago. Said she needed space and find out what she really wants. of course next day she is over another guys house and has been seeing him and consistently calling him. She said she likes him. I believe she has secretly been keeping in contact with him. He is a cop who see was seeing before me. But anyway i decided to do the NC thing ...right? wrong!!!!!!!!!! i can neva get a foothold on the situation. I dont call her as much but when i do i get emotional so i dropped her a couple of emails to let her know how i felt and that i would give her space. SOOOO we go to the same gym i am skeptical of changing the times i go..why should i? i saw her and we talked ***kin broked down and asked her for a casual lunch at the park. She accepted and we are goin out this friday. I am goin to try to keep it light hearted and not talk to serious about us i just want to have fun. I feel like im in AA i slipped up, the point of NC is to heal and also let them miss u but it is hard to do that when we see each other at the gym. Mostly i just say hi and das it but this past monday i looked into her beautiful brown eyes and i couldnt resist her magnetism. I asked her if she wanted to postpone the date cuz i didnt want her to feel uncomfortable. She said it was fine...what is my next move? I think after the lunch imma go a least a month of total NC shyt i aint gonna shave either commitment is the key pray for me...yes i love her and want her back but i dont know if she wants the same thing right now or ever for that matter but we shall c....

[boogieboy]

Cancel the lunch and change your workout time so you dont run into her. She wont misss you if you keep calling her and seeing her. It only hurts you, not her. For your own sake, cancel everything.

[asuman]

Cancel the lunch and change your workout time so you dont run into her. She wont misss you if you keep calling her and seeing her. It only hurts you, not her. For your own sake, cancel everything.

 

Ditto.

 

You're letting her have you in small doses. You know what does? Allow her to say goodbye to you in small doses, like giving up cigarettes or something. You're literally making it easier for her to flush you from her system.

 

You know what's harder than giving something up in small doses? Giving it up cold turkey. Force her to give you up cold turkey and see how she reacts.

[NopeNah]

Two guys beat me to it! Cancel!! You're not over her and it WILL get emotional for you. Leave her be for now(i know it's hard as hell). Go NC.. and start to rebuild yourself to who you were before her.

[moo]

I no longer deal with my ex boyfriend anymore. He can kiss my wrinkly, hairy backside.

[asuman]

I no longer deal with my ex boyfriend anymore. He can kiss my wrinkly, hairy backside.

 

That's hot.

[Island Girl]

Cancel the lunch and change your workout time so you dont run into her. She wont misss you if you keep calling her and seeing her. It only hurts you, not her. For your own sake, cancel everything.

 

True. Listen to boogieboy.

 

Ditto.

 

You're letting her have you in small doses. You know what does? Allow her to say goodbye to you in small doses, like giving up cigarettes or something. You're literally making it easier for her to flush you from her system.

 

You know what's harder than giving something up in small doses? Giving it up cold turkey. Force her to give you up cold turkey and see how she reacts.

 

And still more great advice.

 

OP -- you can't be in NC if you still have contact.

 

Change your workout time (you could've already done this - my guess is you WANT to run into her and that is a mistake).

And do not go out on a "date" that really isn't going to end up being a date.