possible divorce

[knightrider56]

Ok so I started noticing odd behaviour in my wife around mid march, then even worse in april. I looked at her myspace status and the 1st of april she put " is tired with her life and wondering what could have been" .then nuthing , I asked her why she put that and she said she was just depressed ,I then asked her why and she said she didnt know . then in mid april she stopped sleeping in the same bed as me and started sleeping on the couch with our

2 1/2 year old son. she came to sleep with me one timne out of two weeks. I asked her if she wanted me and she said yes, so we made love . going forward to our weekly family gathering she acted very odd torwards my family almost clamming up and being anti social then she started more , everytime i tried to kiss her she would pull away from me , every hug she just let her body go almost limp and not hug me back. then she was spending a lot of time with a so called "friend" of ours and a lot of it. for those two months tho we werent really fighting but would not agree on certain things when we usually do. well I started to suspect somthing when my wife calls me for a ride home from work, we were working on a new place to live and I left to go pick her up . she text me when i have like 6 miles left ande tells me that "he" is already there. i thought wtf, he lives right across from where i was moving into and his car was still there wen i left and i took the quickest route. it didnt add up to me .then on the 23 of aprill she tells me when she was riding with him that "I dont know how much longer we can keep this marriage together". well I asked her to come home and talk to me and she did as well as "him" and another supposed friend.

I asked them both to leave and they acted like they didnt hear me and ignored me . now dont get me wrong I have plenty of faults in our marriage

as well as she but i never cheated on her. she is too beutifull for me to do that with. well we talked in our room since the douchebags wouldnt leave. and she told me that she was tired of me not watching our son witch I dint cus I was always exhausted from work so i slept. she said i always called her fat in which i did not. and that I taught our son to beat her with swords wich i got him 2 nerf swords for me and him and i wanted her to play with us.well then after that she said she would think if she wanted space or not then texted me that she did, iwent to work the next day and she moved all her stuff out into the guys house i live across the street from, and is currently living there now. Now I know i shouldnt have done this but I read her email and her sister emailed her sayin that she SHOULD leave me and be happy with out me,what a bitch. anyways after that i was at work and my mother who has baby sat for my sone for 2 and a half years when we were at work called me and told me that she didnmt have our sone and that my wife informed her that her mother had him. just to verify I called her mom and she told me she didnt talk to her in 2 days , then she changed her story to her sister has him, then I come to find out that "him from across the street has my son at his familys house , I called him and left a voicemail saying if he didnt bring my son to me that i would call the cops ,then my wife calls me sayin that her sister just dropped him off to her at work, and that she had to stay longer , well i called 'his" sister in law and he had tmy son and wen i called and left the voicemail, he picked up my son ad dropped him off to her work then left so as not to be seen. I went in there and my wife flipped and said she wasnt ready to ocme home yet cus I kept contacting her, and a scene broke out where she was yelling at my family there, i remained calm and took my son from there so she could go back to work well about 5 days later she tells me that she filed for divorce and that she loves me but is not in love with meand for over a month she has been telling me that her lawyer is looking at me to server me papers. MEanwhile I was checking the court records and no case was ever filed yet.to this day i still check the record every 3 days or so and nothing. now she keeps telling me that she dosnt love me anymore and WANTS the divorce. I talked to her the night she left and asked her what her problems with me were and she said i needed to get help , I suffer from depression a lot , and i told her i would change to make our marriage work cus i love her more than anything in this world. and she said she would wait to see how i got on meds then filed supposedly. I found out that i am bi-polar and are taking meds for it and havce changed but she dont want to give me a chance to see that we have been together for 11 years and married for 4 on july 2nd. she tells me that there is nothing going on with the "friend " that she moved in with but i found out yesterday that the other "friend" that was there the night she left has been tryin to get her to have sex with him, and I knew this guy since the 7th grade and Im 27 now. shows how u can trust a person . but any advice I can get on the situation? the 2nd is our anniverseray and I got her roses , a jelly belly candle (she loves em) a card that really expressed my feelings and I burned 2 cds of our wedding music and "our" songs and songs that always reminded me of her before she left. I plan on giving them to her tonight as ill have her our son and she gets out of work late. bt its been about a month and a half ince she left and I cant take it I dream about her every night even before she left. if you need more info plz say so

[TrustInYourself]

Ok so I started noticing odd behaviour in my wife around mid march, then even worse in april. I looked at her myspace status and the 1st of april she put " is tired with her life and wondering what could have been" .then nuthing , I asked her why she put that and she said she was just depressed ,I then asked her why and she said she didnt know . then in mid april she stopped sleeping in the same bed as me and started sleeping on the couch with our

2 1/2 year old son. she came to sleep with me one timne out of two weeks. I asked her if she wanted me and she said yes, so we made love . going forward to our weekly family gathering she acted very odd torwards my family almost clamming up and being anti social then she started more , everytime i tried to kiss her she would pull away from me , every hug she just let her body go almost limp and not hug me back. then she was spending a lot of time with a so called "friend" of ours and a lot of it. for those two months tho we werent really fighting but would not agree on certain things when we usually do. well I started to suspect somthing when my wife calls me for a ride home from work, we were working on a new place to live and I left to go pick her up . she text me when i have like 6 miles left ande tells me that "he" is already there. i thought wtf, he lives right across from where i was moving into and his car was still there wen i left and i took the quickest route. it didnt add up to me .then on the 23 of aprill she tells me when she was riding with him that "I dont know how much longer we can keep this marriage together". well I asked her to come home and talk to me and she did as well as "him" and another supposed friend.

I asked them both to leave and they acted like they didnt hear me and ignored me . now dont get me wrong I have plenty of faults in our marriage

as well as she but i never cheated on her. she is too beutifull for me to do that with. well we talked in our room since the douchebags wouldnt leave. and she told me that she was tired of me not watching our son witch I dint cus I was always exhausted from work so i slept. she said i always called her fat in which i did not. and that I taught our son to beat her with swords wich i got him 2 nerf swords for me and him and i wanted her to play with us.well then after that she said she would think if she wanted space or not then texted me that she did, iwent to work the next day and she moved all her stuff out into the guys house i live across the street from, and is currently living there now. Now I know i shouldnt have done this but I read her email and her sister emailed her sayin that she SHOULD leave me and be happy with out me,what a bitch. anyways after that i was at work and my mother who has baby sat for my sone for 2 and a half years when we were at work called me and told me that she didnmt have our sone and that my wife informed her that her mother had him. just to verify I called her mom and she told me she didnt talk to her in 2 days , then she changed her story to her sister has him, then I come to find out that "him from across the street has my son at his familys house , I called him and left a voicemail saying if he didnt bring my son to me that i would call the cops ,then my wife calls me sayin that her sister just dropped him off to her at work, and that she had to stay longer , well i called 'his" sister in law and he had tmy son and wen i called and left the voicemail, he picked up my son ad dropped him off to her work then left so as not to be seen. I went in there and my wife flipped and said she wasnt ready to ocme home yet cus I kept contacting her, and a scene broke out where she was yelling at my family there, i remained calm and took my son from there so she could go back to work well about 5 days later she tells me that she filed for divorce and that she loves me but is not in love with meand for over a month she has been telling me that her lawyer is looking at me to server me papers. MEanwhile I was checking the court records and no case was ever filed yet.to this day i still check the record every 3 days or so and nothing. now she keeps telling me that she dosnt love me anymore and WANTS the divorce. I talked to her the night she left and asked her what her problems with me were and she said i needed to get help , I suffer from depression a lot , and i told her i would change to make our marriage work cus i love her more than anything in this world. and she said she would wait to see how i got on meds then filed supposedly. I found out that i am bi-polar and are taking meds for it and havce changed but she dont want to give me a chance to see that we have been together for 11 years and married for 4 on july 2nd. she tells me that there is nothing going on with the "friend " that she moved in with but i found out yesterday that the other "friend" that was there the night she left has been tryin to get her to have sex with him, and I knew this guy since the 7th grade and Im 27 now. shows how u can trust a person . but any advice I can get on the situation? the 2nd is our anniverseray and I got her roses , a jelly belly candle (she loves em) a card that really expressed my feelings and I burned 2 cds of our wedding music and "our" songs and songs that always reminded me of her before she left. I plan on giving them to her tonight as ill have her our son and she gets out of work late. bt its been about a month and a half ince she left and I cant take it I dream about her every night even before she left. if you need more info plz say so

 

Your son and your depression should be your primary concerns. So what does she want? What do you want?

 

I see the circumstances, but I don't see any plans for yourself or your son. You are doing everything based on this woman's decisions and actions. You are emotionally co-dependent on her. Also do some research on walk-away wives. This forum has tons of people who can offer you advice based on what you want to do and what your plans are.

[seibert253]

Want to know why she's "confused" and doesn't know what she wants, because of "him". Ray Charles can see if she's not having an affair with him, she's engaging in inappropriate activity.

You need to do some investigating:

1. Keylogger on computers

2. Check her cell phone if you can, texts, calls,

3. If you can't do #2, then detailed billing of cell phone, lists all calls and phone numbers of all texts sent and received.

 

My advise, gather evidence then confront. In the meantime read up on the 180 and start. This is war my friend, you are at war with "him". You don't fight with honor, you fight to win.

[lkjh]

Shes cheating, man the hell up. Next time you tell someone to leave your house actually make them leave. She is not worth it. Divorce her

[knightrider56]

Your son and your depression should be your primary concerns. So what does she want? What do you want?

 

I see the circumstances, but I don't see any plans for yourself or your son. You are doing everything based on this woman's decisions and actions. You are emotionally co-dependent on her. Also do some research on walk-away wives. This forum has tons of people who can offer you advice based on what you want to do and what your plans are.

 

 

well right now i am currently seeing a therapist and are on medication for my bi-polar so I am doing better as far as the way i used to be. BUT I watch my son almost everyday when she works and told her if that she wants to see him that all she has to do is come and see him, but she wants him whenever she is not working. and wont let me see him when she has him. My depression is not as bad but with anyone going through the same thing sadness happens ands i do cry a lot. Ive been to the hospital 2 times

for severe panic attacks but am on meds for that too. I admit that I have been emotionally dependent on her as she and my son are my life still ,she always has been my life, I originally did not want kids but she did , and I gave her our son cus I loved her so much. Ive been researching situations like this and most of the articles say that she is going through a hormonal and emotional "crisis" and that about half return and the other does not, but we have had this situation before we got married, she broke up with me for about 4 months and things got hostile with her family and I, then after about 2 months of no contact with her she started calling me again and we took things slow and began our relationship over again, then we got married and had out some a few years later. I was always romantic with her up until the last about 6 months and we became distant cus of conflicting work schedules , we still slept in the same bed and she still said she loved me till april but i dont want this to be a repeat of last time, I do want her back and want her to love me again and just hope this is a phase she is going through and realizes what she had and still can have, I dont know if its guilt or shame but when ever I talk about why she left or our relationship she wont look me in the eyes and looks down and dont want to answer me on things. When she told me that she didnt know if we can fix things , I asked her to go to marriage counseling and she told me she didnt think it would help, and I told her I would do anthing to keep us together and she said she would think about it. as for getting info , the only comp that we have is here at my house and she wont get on it and I dont have access to her cell phone bill cus it is in another persons name the "other " friend that was tryint to have sex with her wen she left me . he was supposed to be our room mate to help pay for bills when we were gonna move into the house im in now , and she left the week we were supposed to move in, people do make mistakes and get confused , but I need advice on how to win her back

[carhill]

IMO, focus on your therapy/recovery and your son. To have a healthy relationship, with anyone, including your W, you have to be healthy yourself.

 

This is a perfect situation. She's gone, you're in the marital home and you apparently are sharing care for your son. File for divorce and custody and go LC with her (limited to your son's care issues). Work on yourself. If anything will "win her back", showing you are a man of character, responsibility and respectability will, if that's what you want. There's no pill for that. It takes hard work and time.

 

Hug your son

[knightrider56]

well I know she sees change in me but she just says shes not in love with me anymore, I still have not received papers for divorce, and I somewhat confronted the guy shes living with now, I currently call him homewrecker, and told him to keep his hands off my son ( he used to watch him when he was younger) but there was a accusation of him molesting his sister wen he was a bit younger, how much younger i dont know but my wife belives himthat he didnt do it, I DO NOT. monday im filing for a exparte order for custody and will try to get a restraining order on him for my son