lovehurts Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Hi all, This is a bit of a long story that has dragged out over about 7 months and I'm really in need of some advice. Met a guy late last year. Hit it off. Started spending quite a bit of time together (like every weekend) for a good three months. From what I could tell, we were in a casual relationship as we had not had the committment talk, but I had met all of his friends and family and regularly accompanied him to events as his "date". After a little while I realised how much I liked him. And I guess he started to withdraw a bit and it felt like I was putting in all the effort. He certainly had feelings for me, but was enjoying partying with his boys and generally causing a ruckus. So I realised that it would probably be best for me to break it off with him as I was feeling hurt and didn't want to get strung along. So I did. About April. I was so crushed. I didn't want to do it, I guess I just had the feeling that he didn't want to be with me. He wasn't backing up his words with actions. I missed him terribly. And we didn't talk for a few weeks. We got back in touch and started seeing each other again about 5 weeks ago. He takes me as his date to his sporting club functions (a very big deal) and we text back and forth every 1-2 days. I now realise, I'm in love with him. We are so good together, we get along so well and have a very deep attraction to each other. We WORK. So I just don't understand his behaviour. He is still keeping me at arms length!! And just today, he's not replying to my texts. Which just crushes me. I guess I just don't understand what I should be doing here? I'm basically heart broken here and I'm hoping I'm not about to face the agony of unrequited love. And before you ask, I haven't smothered him. I usually let him initiate dates and contact. I have just been trying to go with the flow and let the universe take over. Any advice?? Thanks:(
SoulSearch_CO Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 It sucks, but sometimes you love somebody that simply doesn't/can't love you back. There's nothing you can do to change his mind if he isn't feeling it on his own. And no, I wouldn't imagine that you did anything to cause this. We can't help who we love.
lab_brat Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 I agree. I'm sorry, he isn't in love with you It sucks, i know, but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. I'm sure he cares abut you, but if it was love for him too, you would've received some kind of encouraging sign from him by now, You need to stop seeing him. which i know is sooo hard, but you have to move on to find someone that deserves you. If he can't love you then he isn't worth the time, coz you're better than that and deserve better .xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox
Nemoralis Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 This might sound silly to you but give it a try. Tell him you only want a casual relationship right now - for you both to keep seeing other people. And then DO IT. See other people. Don't flaunt the fact that you are dating other guys, but don't be too secretive about it. Either he'll realize that he wants you exclusively or he'll relish the opportunity to keep you and have other girls on the side. Either way you'll get your answer. You might say you don't want to play a silly game, but LIFE IS A GAME. So learn to play.
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