wareagle Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Wow it's been awhile since I've been here! Ok so it's been like a year and 3 months since she left me. I recently found a box with some of her stuff and a picture of her and her mom under my bed! My question is do I contact her and give her stuff back, or do I just toss it?
CarrieT Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Same thing happened to me; I broke up with my Ex last July and just came across some of his things. I mailed them back.
WhyYesThankYou Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 I vote for "toss." Any attempt at re-establishing contact, even just by sending stuff back, could be perceived as an excuse to contact your ex. Not worth it for property unclaimed after 15 months. ........ I was going to leave it at that. But I suppose under extenuating circumstances, i.e. if her mom was dead and she couldn't replace the photo, sending it back would be the kind thing to do. But in 99.999999% of cases, I'd say toss.
Author wareagle Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 Thanks! I agree with the pathetic excuse to contact her!! Lol what was I thinking? After 15 months of NC why would I want to give her a chance to re-establish contact! I'm going to toss it! Just a moment of weakness I guess!
ON MY OWN Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Thanks! I agree with the pathetic excuse to contact her!! Lol what was I thinking? After 15 months of NC why would I want to give her a chance to re-establish contact! I'm going to toss it! Just a moment of weakness I guess! You have built up a tower of strength that only takes a moment to take down and forever to rebuild again...try and remember what it took to bring you to the point your at today. Dont ever forget and always IMO whatever happens in our lives we should refer to it as a learning tool to better ourselves and enrichen our lives. IMO, I would mail it back minus a return address with a note inside that said "heres stuff of yours I found." no more, no less, only because I dont have my parents anymore and figure in that aspect, or you can toss it without flinching depending on your conscience on returning the stuff, if it brings about too much emotion in you, just pitch it. Whatever you decide do what is best for your emotional well being without her.
WTFO Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 You could always burn it -- make a ritual of it! That's just wrong...lol. I would send it back with no rtn add or note.
Art_Critic Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Throw it away.... Why invite drama back into your otherwise nice life ?
CaliGuy Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Toss it, toss it, toss it!!! There is no reason to go back down that road. And yes, if she wanted it, she would have asked for it....
Hannah86 Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 absolutely toss it. If an ex sent me a box of my stuff a year later, I'd think he was hoarding it and staring at it for a year and wasn't over me. You want to establish contact, that's all it is. TOSS!! If you want to show you are over her, TOSS. If, in the rare chance, she sends an email asking about her stuff (randomly), tell her you came across it at "some point" but it "seemed unimportant" and you threw it out since so much time had passed. She will understand.
Author wareagle Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 Hannah you are absolutely right about me wanting to establish contact again!!! Why would I want to do that? I don't! I will toss it, or I was actually going to build a fire this weekend to celebrate the 4th so I may just start the the fire with her things! She has many pictures of her mother and her she doesn't need this one and the other stuff like ya'll said must not mean much or she would have been asking for it!! Thanks to everyone who responded, I am at a much better place in my life now and would never want to invite that kind of pain back into my life! Thanks for setting me straight!!!!!
Hannah86 Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I am glad you understand. Now that you understand that you should throw it away.... The next step is actually doing it. Toss it immediately. Stop wondering and looking at it!
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