love sucks Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 So, I've been in love and having sexual relations with my best friend's girlfriend/fiance/ex-finance for the last two years plus. Her and I became very close and it just kinda happened one night; it has continued off and on for a while now. He broke off the engagement after dating for 4 plus years but for compatibility reasons...he has no idea this is going on. She moved away and I moved back home closer to where I grew up which is close to where she lives. We've become best friends over these past months, talking everyday, this and that. She is still talking with her ex but we had sex 10 days ago. I am in absolute love with her and she loves me, which is probably the best way to describe it. She is confused. He's a selfish, manic personality and no good for her. I don't say that b/c I want her...it's the gods honest truth. She has never told me that we would end up together but she consistently gives me little rays of light that there is hope for us in the future...but it is killing me emotionally. I have had to keep all of this inside b/c all of us involved are friends with all of the same friends and no one can ever know. I'm lost and confused.....I told her today that I can't do this anymore and that I need to get rid of my feelings for her before we can be friends again....is that possible? am I going to hell for what I've done? how do I get her out of my head? did I do the wrong thing? Is she using me? She gets drunk, and tells me things like we could always end up old and boring together or asks me if I would ever move to her city with her....sends me sweet dreams texts with xoxoxo....I became her emotional BF for a long ass time b/c he's not really capable of the deepness that I have. I've been nothing but there for her for a long time waiting hoping that this would work...but I don't want to force anyone to love me nor does that work.....I'm in my late 20's and this is the first person I've ever truly loved....I just feel like I'm her backup plan if things don't reconcile with him but I've become her best friend and she has become mine....it's as if she get pissed when my emotions get in the way of our friendship b/c she thinks I'm judging her and she refuses to be judged. tomorrow is going to be the first day in over a year where I will be going without talking to her as she is going back to where we grew up to hang out with our friends and will most certainly be having sex with her ex....I know I'm getting played here....I guess I'm just trying to figure out how I can salvage our friendship while holding on to what I want but at the same point looking out for myself.....Not possible? I told her today that I need to get to a point where I will be happy for her if they get back together or she finds someone else....she is just so confused but I feel 100% in my heart that we are meant to be together...she is not the cheating type...never has been...what we have is real and legit, but she isn't willing to take that chance at this point but I can't wait around any further for her to maybe or maybe not be with me....it just hurts so damn bad b/c I'm pretty much all alone in a city where all of my friends from high school are gone....my entire social network is 1000 miles away where I lived for 8 years. She is absolutely drop dead gorgeous 5'7'' 115 half irish half cuban and I feel like she is my soul mate. We connect on every single level possible and I see my life with her. It's not as if this is some random girl that I began dating. We're not even dating but I feel like I've been in a relationship for the last two years and we just broke up b/c my emtions simply can't go through all of this anymore. Penny for your thoughts?
duke1974 Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 She's your best friends girl and is betraying him with you, that's not the cheating type? She loves you but is having sex with him? I don't think you can even justify any of this and someone here seems selfish.
Author love sucks Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 I agree that it is selfish of both me and her....I guess my problem is why did all of this happen and where do I go from here emotionally? What I've done is inexcusable but when your heart tells your mind that you will give up your best friend for someone that may or may not work out in the long run is a pretty strong feeling to have. Why do I feel that way? What should I do?
Davey McG Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 You deserve to be in pain. You f**ked your best friend's fiance but all you can worry about it how it hurts you. Karma is a bitch - live and learn from this or repeat the same mistakes over and over.
asuman Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Gosh, you had sex with a girl while she's in a relationship with someone else and are lost and confused about whether or not she really loves you. I wouldn't have seen THAT coming. What exactly did you expect? Don't have sex with people who are in relationships.
jph26 Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Sounds like best thing you can do is to step away from this situation and move on. There are too many complications for anything long-term. Once you've moved on, you can use your clean slate to build up a proper relationship.
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