SimpleSam Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Hey guys, my name is Sam and I am new to this dating forum. I have frequently come here to read some of the advice that people have given on here, and it seems pretty sound. Here is my dilemma (warning - it is pretty long): About two weeks ago, I am going to get something to eat and stop by the gas station to pick up some cigarettes. After I make my purchase, I turn around and see this girl who is really cute in line. I smile at her, she smiles back, and I head back to my car. As I am going down the road, I notice this red cavalier tailgating me. I'm going about 10 miles over the speed limit, and getting fairly annoyed with this driver behind me. As I pull up to the red light at the intersection, the car behind goes into the right lane next to my car. All of a sudden I hear the driver yelling something to me from the car. I roll my passenger window down, look over, and notice that it is the cute girl who I smiled at, in the gas station. Without any hesitation, this girl asks me for my number. Fairly surprised, I give it out to her. She calls me right up and we decide to meet the next day. At this point, I'm pretty excited about the possibilities, considering I had a real rough year in 2008 (the relationship I got out of was pretty disfunctional). The first get together (I'll call it an insta-date) went fairly well; she was my age (I'm 26), had an engaging personality, and was prettier than I had remembered. So I decided to take her out on a dinner-date. The dinner went as good as it could for an official first date. She seemed to be genuinely interested in me, and we seemed to have a fairly good connection. As I am driving back to her place, I can sort of tell that she is dropping signs that I should kiss her at the end of the date (i.e. she kept complaining about her breath smelling bad, and cracking this smile). So, before I drop her off, I go in for it and she kisses me. No problem. Normally, I wait a little longer before I make moves, but she gave off that particular vibe so I said to myself, "What the hell, it can't hurt to try." Afterwards, I could not be more excited about the possibilities. Let me give you some information on this girl. She told me, right off the bat, that she had a lot of guy friends. A lot of them are older (mid to late 30s and 40s). She also has been previously married (another older guy). Now, some guys I know get irritated or down right jealous when they here this sort of thing. But to me, it is not a big deal. I am only trying to get to know her now, not jump in head first into a relationship. That obviously comes with progression. She is a big outdoors kind of girl, so she camps and fishes in her spare time. Her fishing partner is a guy by the way. So, I try to hang out with her last week and she tells me that she's going on this fishing trip with her guy friend. I say no problem, because I had to work last Saturday. And now comes the confusing part; I talked to her yesterday and we plan to hang out this Thursday. Then today she calls and tells me that she can't hangout this Thursday because she has to fill in for some girl on some softball team, and that the team wants her to practice with them before they play this weekend. I am a little irritated that she reniged on our get together, but it's no big deal. I don't want to get angry and come off as a clingy S.O.B. So, later on today, I get this text message from her saying that she is on her way home. I tell her we can hang out if she wants, but that I have to work early the next day. She responds "what should we do?" I texted her that we can chill or whatever, but we can figure it out once I get out of dinner with my roommate. She never responds back. After I get out of dinner, I try to call her, but it goes to her voicemail after a couple of rings. Considering I told her that I would call, once I was out of dinner, I decided not to leave a message. Now, what I don't understand is why she didn't answer my call? I think I am over analyzing too much, but for some reason it seems to me that she keeps making excuses for not hanging out, or she is just leading me on, OR worse, she is a player. I just have no clue what to think. I am not going to call her until she gets back to me. She has to go up north to visit family for the holiday this weekend. So I figure if she doesn't call me by Sunday, then maybe I'll call one more time after that. Alright, sorry about the long post, but any suggestions or advice would help tremendously. Thanks for reading.
redant Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 She could be a player since she approached you that way. I'm sure it's not the first time she has been so assertive. I wouldn't give her so much of your attention. She leaves you wondering, she came on really strong, but maybe she's just having fun, not seriously looking. Don't let her lead you on be strong and stay busy with your own life and meet other girls. Just try not to get wrapped up in her until you really know what her intentions are. Good luck!
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