now_what Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Exactly 3 months since the dissolution was final, 9 1/2 months since he left, 1 year of celibacy (not my choice, before he left he was cheating on me and would have nothing to do with me), 1 1/2 years of being virtually ignored by him, 2 1/2 years of being partially ignored by him, 25 years at least of being taken for granted by him. Why I ask, why has the loneliness just hit me this week? My younger daughter has been gone a lot with friends, my son has moved back home but goes out most evenings. I've been alone before, but it did not bother me. This week it bothers me. I thought I was handling the breakup and dissolution fairly well, but this week I just want to sleep and forget.
Author now_what Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 I must come across as a whiny and weak loser. I'm sorry, I should try to help other people more and focus less on myself. This is just so hard for me. Sometimes I feel great other times not so great. I should really just focus on what I have instead of what I have lost - and maybe looking back over things I have not lost that much.
Author now_what Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 OK, one more post tonight and I'll shut up. I think I have figured out the loneliness thing and it may really have nothing to do with my ex. I was watching Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nighmares when he mentioned coming into a restaurant with his family. That did it, I burst into tears and almost choked on the chocolate cake I was eating - I think that show inadvertently hit the nail on the head. I think I am feeling sad and lonely because the dynamic of my family has changed - from a mom and dad with three kids to three basically independent children and a mom (me) who has to refigure what her role is- not a wife anymore, still a mom but not needed in all the same ways as when the kids were little. Does this make sense to anyone? How ironic to almost choke on cake when no one is home. Spooked me just a little, lots of people my age (50) have died lately - Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, and quite a few local people.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 It makes sense to me. I think you should get out and start dating again. Its a pain in the @ss but even just having a male companion to talk to really helps. I don't ever see myself really dating. For my own reasons really. I think lonliness sneaks for all of us somtimes. Plenty of people years down the line still think of the person they lost. Even ifs not about them really. It could be many reasons. Maybe your just not happy with where your at right now. Try to eat ur chocolate cake with milk in the future lol..
Author now_what Posted July 2, 2009 Author Posted July 2, 2009 Thanks for the advice and perspective Jdw_Icequeen. Yes, I should have had milk to go with the cake, I just hadn't poured it yet. Luckily the cake is now gone. I shouldn't have bought it but I was having a weak moment and it was on sale. If anyone was over at the house I offered them some cake to help make it disappear faster.
Soul Bear Posted July 2, 2009 Posted July 2, 2009 I know what your talking about, lonlieness does creep in at times when you least expect it...things can trigger it, even small things. Its strange how it goes, I cant advise you, but I can relate
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