Scarlett513 Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I've been out twice with this guy I met on a dating site. Things so far have been going well, and much to my surprise, I actually like him. In the beginning, we texted all the time. We've had a few phone conversations, and like I said, we've been out twice but it's been a little difficult finding time to get together because we have conflicting work schedules. We made out at the end of the second date. Anyway, what began as almost constant communication thru text (at his initiation, not mine) has slowed a bit since our last date which was about a week and a half ago (we were supposed to hang out last week before I went on vacation for 5 days, but a friend of mine passed away so I wound up cancelling). So we texted thru my vacation and since I have been back but it has been less frequent than before. It's always at his initiation. I did ask him once if everything is ok, he apologized and said he is really busy with work. This week he tells me that he is really busy at work and is it ok if we wait until next week to hang out (mind you, I didn't mention hanging out, this was a random comment). It's absolutely fine with me that we're not in constant communication, in fact I think it's better. I also don't mind not seeing each other all the time, I like having my space. But I'm wondering if the change is indicative of a change of heart on his part. I'm also wondering if I'm just nit-picking to find a reason to run. Like everyone else, I've been hurt before and I'm worried that maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill to give myself an excuse to cut things off. This is the first guy in a long time that I've actually liked.... my friends are telling me they think I'm overanalyzing, which I might be. If I AM....how the heck do you get over the fear of being hurt?? I like him and I'd like to see where things go (assuming it's worth pursuing) but it might be hard if I'm just tearing him to shreds over nothing.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Your friends are most likely right. You are overanalyzing small details. Don't, most guys are too complicated. As for getting over the fear of getting hurt well you can't get rid of that. There's always going to be a chance you will get hurt. There's no helping that just acceptance of it and having the courage to take on what ever might come your way. It's pretty much the flip of a coin or the roll of the dice. It's all chance. Don't be afraid of giving someone you like a chance because you might regret not giving them a chance in the long run. If you want a healthy relationship go slow not too fast and you'll begin to learn who he is more and he will learn who you are more. Just don't rush and it'll probably work out fine. Give little by little until after a good amount of time you've given everything. Hope this helps.
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