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Is He Just Not that Into Me if he's Not Trying to See Me on 4th of July ?


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Posted

Is He Just Not that Into Me if he's Not Trying to See Me on 4th of July ?

Ive gone on 3 dates with a guy long distance

knew him online/the phone for 2 years before dating

i will be moving to his city for work/friends in 6-8 weeks

i currently live 2-3 hours away

our last date was 3 weeks ago

no sex just lots of kissing making out after nice long afternoon and evening

he offered to drive up to see me last week but i was away for work

heres the problem i have mentioned to him 3 times over the last two weeks that i have a chance to be in his city for 4th of july weekend

but he HAS NOT jumped on the chance to see me

i even asked him last week what his plans are and he said "oh he doesnt know"

well he isnt a kid he is 34 and im 30 ... he is educated and assertive

so it just seems like he isnt interested in seeing ME this 4th of july.

and it depresses me because we met as friends exaclty 2 years ago on the 4th

the kciked if he is still on match.com

which is fine because were long distance and no exclusive.

BUT i notice he is on it all day today and even has his IM ME feature turned on

Does it seem like he's trying to get a 'better deal' for the 4th of july ?

Posted

It sounds like he's neither interested in friendship, nor dating. :(

 

Make some other plans and enjoy your 4th. Hopefully you'll meet someone new. :)

Posted

If he were really into you then you wouldn't be wondering. :(

Posted

One of three things come to mind. Niether may be true who knows.

 

1. He has plans with another girl for the 4th and doesn't want to tell you because it would hurt your feelings.

 

2. He has plans with other friends for the 4th but doesn't want to tell you because it would hurt your feelings.

 

3. He has already assumed since you mentioned it so much that ya'll are spending the 4th together and doesn't feel like he has to bring it up any.

  • Author
Posted
It sounds like he's neither interested in friendship, nor dating. :(

 

Make some other plans and enjoy your 4th. Hopefully you'll meet someone new. :)

 

 

He calls me nearly every single night since our date though

literally keeps me on the phone for 45-60 mins and Im the one who says good night first.

And he did ask to come see me last weekend but i had biz trip

it just seems like he is set on finding the most exciting date possible or something im afraid.

where he lives 4th of july is a big deal and i know he likes to make a show of things with his date to see concert and fireworks (he did last year)

and actually my city is too there's no way he is so clueless that he wouldnt think to ask me what im doing if he wanted to see me.

i do know that he was dating someone befor eme and she went back to her exboyfriend.

im afraid he still may be pining after her or want someone more similar.

she was very thin and very rich.

im actually making more money and getting thinner and one of my friends joked how im already beautiful and now Ill be skinny and wealthy soon too on my facebook wall.

he actually commented that will be so so hot.

 

hmmm.

Posted
He calls me nearly every single night since our date though

literally keeps me on the phone for 45-60 mins and Im the one who says good night first.

And he did ask to come see me last weekend but i had biz trip

it just seems like he is set on finding the most exciting date possible or something im afraid.

where he lives 4th of july is a big deal and i know he likes to make a show of things with his date to see concert and fireworks (he did last year)

and actually my city is too there's no way he is so clueless that he wouldnt think to ask me what im doing if he wanted to see me.

i do know that he was dating someone befor eme and she went back to her exboyfriend.

im afraid he still may be pining after her or want someone more similar.

she was very thin and very rich.

im actually making more money and getting thinner and one of my friends joked how im already beautiful and now Ill be skinny and wealthy soon too on my facebook wall.

he actually commented that will be so so hot.

 

hmmm.

 

He should like you for how you are now.

 

My thoughts... He hasn't made his plans. He's waiting to see what his options are.

  • Author
Posted
He should like you for how you are now.

 

My thoughts... He hasn't made his plans. He's waiting to see what his options are.

well yes he should.

I'm thinking of just making my own plans and not taking his phonecalls so much

Im afraid he just thinks of me as this awesome pretty friend who admires and loves him and always is there for him as a back up.

he probably thinks we'll date more when i move but for now he'll have fun.

He also know Im old fashioned and dont have sex unless im in an exclusive relationship

he says he respects that because he likes nice girls and wants to marry one.

but i know he himself usually sleeps with some of his dates on dates 1-3 ...

he may just want to go wild this weekend.

also he knows I broke up with my bf recently.

so he also knows Im kind of getting over that. (but not really because my ex was nuts !) :lmao:

Posted

He told you you'll be hot when you start making more money and get thinner?

 

Yeesh.

 

For the life of me, I will never understand why women stay with guys like this.

Posted

Sounds like he hasn't decided what he's doing yet. Why not make plans of your own? If he's not tried to include you in his then I don't see that it matters yet - maybe further down the line if you get more involved it would be more significant. If you have your own plans and he asks you at the last minute you can just say you'd have liked to have spent the time with him but are doing something else. That way he'll know you're interested and you'll still have a good time.

Posted

I think he has plans with a girl. It could be his ex.

 

He is NOT inviting you to anything because he already has plans.

 

I could be wrong. Lets see what happens...

Posted

If you want to spend the 4th with him, why not just come out and say, I'm going to be there on the 4th, would you like to spend the day with me?

 

It sounds to me like he just has no definite plans and can't take a hint... You should just do your own thing.

Posted
He calls me nearly every single night since our date though

literally keeps me on the phone for 45-60 mins and Im the one who says good night first.

And he did ask to come see me last weekend but i had biz trip

it just seems like he is set on finding the most exciting date possible or something im afraid.

where he lives 4th of july is a big deal and i know he likes to make a show of things with his date to see concert and fireworks (he did last year)

and actually my city is too there's no way he is so clueless that he wouldnt think to ask me what im doing if he wanted to see me.

i do know that he was dating someone befor eme and she went back to her exboyfriend.

im afraid he still may be pining after her or want someone more similar.

she was very thin and very rich.

im actually making more money and getting thinner and one of my friends joked how im already beautiful and now Ill be skinny and wealthy soon too on my facebook wall.

he actually commented that will be so so hot.

 

hmmm.

 

 

An LTR is different from a real-life relationship. In an LTR, he can do all that you said he did because he can juggle a few other people in his life without you knowing (assuming he is). That he didn't jump for joy that you'll be moving to his area jumps out at me. For someone who you said did all that he did, he's quite lukewarm about you moving there.

Posted

Couldn't you ask him if he is interested in a relationship or in dating? I mean he calls you every night you have a right to know if he wants something with you. If not you can find someone who does. Sounds like pretty hot and have money. Have fun on the 4th!

Posted

he's not interested enough to make plans with you - i'd do something fun on your own.

 

do not take his calls between now and then and don't answer any emails or texts.

 

tell me you are not moving there to be with him??? at this point i hope not - he's not at all interested in making any effort for a long term relationship.

  • Author
Posted
If you want to spend the 4th with him, why not just come out and say, I'm going to be there on the 4th, would you like to spend the day with me?

 

It sounds to me like he just has no definite plans and can't take a hint... You should just do your own thing.

too much info

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