Carli Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I am going through a hard times with my fam... Here is whats going on.... I met this girl online, myspace, we chatted for about 2 weeks and we decided to meet...btw i am 28 and she is 27....She is new to this country, 10 months living here, she is filipina... We met, chatted for a while...I liked her, I liked how we connected each other. I really felt comfortable.....The next day, she invited me to her house to meet her brother and her best friend...btw, she lives with her parents and brother here.....I met them and they were really nice to me. Then next day i asked her if i could meet her parents, just to say hi and know more about her...we met and they were really nice.. Before we met she has told me that she has a heart condition, being that her heart was enlarged before, and now taking medications to go back to normal..She cant have strong physical work to avoid forcing her heart.....She keep saying that all she needs is medications, and its nothing so serious; or that she will improve to normal again....however, deep inside of me i can feel it might become serious in the future, but I didnt really mind about it, because i liked her as a whole....I didnt really care about it.... The very next weekend (4 days after meeting) we became gf/bf..(I felt it was too fast, but I was having strong feelings and she said the same too) so we decided to be official....She is extremely a sweetheart, very nice, down to earth, mature, family oriented.... We continued going out, etc....Then, she said there was something she needed to tell me...She told me that her immigrant status here was not legal yet, but she was scared to tell me....I told her not to worrry, and I believed her that she was not dating me for other interests and thank you for being honest.. I made a mistake, it came to a conversation one day in my fam, and I told them about that too..... We continued together, happy....We have been together for only 16 days... However, last week she said she needed to tell me something else (Full of surprises)...She was crying and told me that she was embarassed to tell me, but that she wants me to go and look for a better girl to make me happy and please forget about her because she would cause me trouble healthwise....She said that she also has a skin condition called Psoriasis, which comes to her randomly a year in her body....She told me that her parents wont let her work because of her conditions. They dont want her to get stressed and protect her for her health....Meaning that she cant have a fully normal life..... I like her, and starting to feel something more for her, but my fam is really against that. They say that i deserve to be happy with someone that is not goiong to cause me any stress, someone that can fully support me...They think that she is so sick that I am going in bad...btw, I had a bad relationship for about 4 years, and nwo thats why they say that i deserve to find someone that will not produce any stress....My mom and sister are really againt this, they are not talking to me now, they are in war against me becaue of this...They say that i need to be smart and dont fall for someone that has everything against her, and that I will suffer next to her in the future..She has nothing against her, but she says that I need to consider her condition....My mom is really suffering right now, she says that she is deeply sad because she thinks that if i fall in love with her my happiness is on the risk in the future....She thinks that she might die young and I will be single very young and probably with kids already......Thats all my moms talks now, she is deeply worried about my future with that girl...... btw...She doesnt seen sick, we go out as normal...If you see her outside, you might think she is a healthy young girl with no health problems... I dont know what to think anymore...are they right? Or should I just follow my heart not thinking about consequences? We are still new to the relationship...I know there is still time to think...But i already feel so good next to her...Or may be should i slow down and ask her to be friends? Since we just met a month ago we might have time? Dont know..im confused...need some opinions. Sorry if this was so long....Just needed to explain everything so you understand....
2sure Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 My mom is really suffering right now, she says that she is deeply sad because she thinks that if i fall in love with her my happiness is on the risk in the future....She thinks that she might die young and I will be single very young and probably with kids already......Thats all my moms talks now, she is deeply worried about my future with that girl...... You have been dating 2 weeks. So, nothing matters, nothing applies. You are pushing 30 years old and should know this. The major concern here is your Mother's manipulation, which wouldnt be a concern except that it is effective. No doubt your Mother is concerned because she knows first hand that you are easily manipulated.
Els Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 BOTH of your families aside: The only problem, really, is that she has a heart condition and psoriasis. The heart condition (according to you) will require that she not do strenuous PHYSICAL work and take medications. Psoriasis does NOT prevent someone from working. If managed properly, it causes nothing except superficial discomfort (itching, etc) and it looks ugly. That's all. That's hardly a problem IMO. Did you even research the diseases? What's the heart condition called?
Author Carli Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 Thank you both of you for reading and advicing.... Her condition is called cardiomiopathy I have researched online but nothing is clear to what level of inability she might have in the future.... Regarding the Psoriasis...She says that she gets it when she is stressed, so to avoid stress she lives in with her parents and they dont let her work......
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