jlr Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 In case anyone doesn't know the story. My ex of 5 years broke up with me last October. There was no major event that caused it, she just sorta decided it wasn't what she wanted. After a month or so of not talking after the break up, we began hanging out again. For about 6 months, we were on a roller coaster ride - some weeks she pondered getting back together, others not so much. I got caught up in her chaos. It killed me. I still love her. Anyways, a few months ago we decided to take a month without contact so she could clear her head. Instead of doing that, she immediately ran to some new guy, and began living in a dream world (which was always sort of her thing) that he was the best thing ever and that real relationships don't take alot of work like ours did. I was devastated. I haven't contacted her. I saw her a few days after that to finally severe our phone plan. But it's been a while now that we haven't talked, and several months since we've hung out or anything. Then, last week, I was working on something with a friend, and afterwards noticed a missed call from her, and then a text. It said something to the effect of, "did you hear Michael Jackson died? what's up with that?" Now, I like MJ, but am I like one of his biggest fans or something that would prompt her to reach out to me about it? No. I didn't really know what to do. I was sort of angry, like how can you text me about something like that, like we're buddies or like none of this happened. So I got curious. I probably shouldn't have replied, but I did a day later. All I said was "yeah, that's crazy." She quickly responded that "Yeah, he's all over the radio. I figured you're the only person I know who would care about that. Oh well, I don't know, take care." Again, I responded a day later just saying "yeah, I'm cool like that" and that I had seen a DJ the night before who played his tunes too. She responded asking me where I saw the DJ and then said "maybe if they play heal the world enough people will stop sucking so much, lol." I responded by saying that certain people will suck no matter what, and something about MJ taking his own advice. There was a couple more, but they were simple and based on the same stuff. What the hell was that? Is the new guy wearing off? Is she bored? Is she ****ing with me? Is she too immature to actually have a conversation that she is going to use something like Michael Jackson as a way to reach out to me? Were those hints in there about "people sucking" and me being "the only person I know who would care about that"? I don't get it. Next time she does this, which I have feeling will happen, I'm going to have to address it instead of letting it slide. Thoughts?
Leveller Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Maybe just yanking the chain. Finding some excuse to check your number still works. Still alive etc. Hard to fathom really but it's not the 'I want you back message'. Still it shows your in her mind to some extent at least. IMO Stay NC but keep us posted.
Author jlr Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 Yeah, I'm going to continue to not make contact. And I know it's not a "I want you back" message or anything. But it's strange. I sort of think it's like you said - sort of checking to see if I'm still out there. Maybe it was on off day for her. I dunno. People are weird. It's like, you break my heart, play games with me, then find another dude, and then decide to casually text about a pop superstar's death... I'll keep you posted.
Phateless Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I hate to break it to you buddy but this text was not directed at you specifically. This was a mass text she sent out to many people in her phone and just happened to include you. Unfortunately, you responded. Lots of girls do this for attention when they're bored. Lesson learned. Resume NC. Hang in there bro.
Author jlr Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 No, it wasn't a mass text. It was preceeded by a phone call. I didn't pick up the phone, so she texted me right after. And she specifically said she texted me about it because I'm the only person she knows who would care.
Phateless Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 No, it wasn't a mass text. It was preceeded by a phone call. I didn't pick up the phone, so she texted me right after. And she specifically said she texted me about it because I'm the only person she knows who would care. Yeah I noticed that after I posted... she's probably just immature and this is an excuse to see if she still has you on a leash. Don't prove to her that she does.
Author jlr Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 Yeah, I know. It's hard because, sure, I want to speak to her. But only if it's REAL. This is like bits and pieces and it's not fair to me. Just seeing her name on my phone - a missed call, a text - it messes with my head. It makes me curious about things and gets my mind all in a tizzy about it again. Next time this happens, should I address it? Meaning, should I say that unless you have something REAL to say, this is too hard for me to do. Or do I just ignore her? Ugh.
Phateless Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Yeah, I know. It's hard because, sure, I want to speak to her. But only if it's REAL. This is like bits and pieces and it's not fair to me. Just seeing her name on my phone - a missed call, a text - it messes with my head. It makes me curious about things and gets my mind all in a tizzy about it again. Next time this happens, should I address it? Meaning, should I say that unless you have something REAL to say, this is too hard for me to do. Or do I just ignore her? Ugh. Just ignore it. Don't waste your mental energy trying to "play this correctly." You have better things to do with your time. If she wants to call you for real to talk and ask you to hang out she can grow the F up and do it.
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