jq1985 Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 My best friend, who I was in a long distance friends-with-benefits type relationship with, told me she was dating someone else 6 weeks ago. We talked almost every day for the last year and now haven't spoken in 4 weeks (because I can't deal with it). My feelings over those last 4 weeks are really on and off, but some nights it just really hits me. Tonight I couldn't fall asleep so I started writing down how I was feeling (usually makes me feel better) I don't really know why I'm posting this, but figured this might resonate with someone else. Has anyone else ever felt the same way or been in a similar situation? How long did it take you to recover? Twenty eight days I've been out of your life and it hurts like hell. I miss your laugh, I miss random conversations about nothing in the middle of the day, I miss staying up until 4am talking to you. I just lay here in my bed and cry, it feels so wrong. I've never completely emotionally devastated. I keep coming up with random memories of ours, slivers of time that now burn deeply. I miss you. My tears speak all the words I can't come up with. It hurts so badly to be rejected by you. You knew me deeper than anyone. How could you know me so completely and dismiss me outright, there is no greater pain. I wonder if I'll ever be loved, what did I do wrong, what about me is wrong. I know you would say its not any of that, but there was never anything wrong between us but distance. Perfection, but it couldn't survive? You found love without me. 28 days later the tears still fall, I wake up thinking of you, your image burned into my eyes. 42 days ago. I haven't felt normal since you told me about him. I know you would answer if I called, you would be too nice, too kind. I love your optimistic compassion. Living without you is ****, but I can't live seeing you with someone else. How did we go so long and never tell each other how we felt? How did I let you feel like you might get hurt? How did I push you away? I'm 28 days without my best friend, 28 days and you're still as close to my heart as you've ever been. Let it fade, let it fade. There is nothing I need more than to move on.
adamt Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I'm about 5 weeks down the line and feeling tonnes better than in the first 2 weeks. In the first 2 weeks i wrote out a draft email to myself reflecting on the relationship. mostly on things she did which i didnt like and what i could have done differently and things i did she may have not liked. I have no intention of sending it to her but it helped me to clear my head and learn from it. Once you begin to accept that it is compeletly over then you start to heal. the best way is to just keep yourself busy as much as possible and this takes your mind of the ex.I kept my weekends busy catching up with friends and going on trips. during the week i started goign to the gym and focusing on eating very healthy. it does work and getting fit in the gym gives you self confidence. It sounds like you arent keeping yourself busy and so she is on your mind. that is the first thing you need to do. I have loads of questions i could ask the ex but eventually you realise they just arnt goign to get answered. when you start to accept things and look to move on you lose the desire to get those questions answered. I my case the ex probably just fell out of love with me early this year. it left me scratching my head because she wanted to get a house together this spring. but now i am lettin ggo
aboynamedmike Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 hey man, i broke up with my gf of 2 years 6 days ago. She was my first love, my first real gf, my first sexual partner, and not to mention one of my best friends. So it's been extremely hard staying NC with her because it seems like without her, I'm just alone and nothing. But i initiated the break up, and for certain reasons, even though it seems like all i can remember is all the good times we had. I'm gonna do what the guy above me did and write down all the reason's why i broke up to clear my mind a bit. Even tho it's only day 6 of NC, i'm dying to talk to her, although I read that breaking NC just sends you back to square one and is usually painful. But idk, I might have to call...
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