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How have you improved/grown since your last breakup?

The Blue Pill

By The Blue Pill
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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The Blue Pill Established Member

The Blue Pill

Posted
Posted

I want this to be a positive thread, a thread to celebrate your accomplishments and personal growths, and even future goals! :laugh:

 

Breakups are hard, and can put people in their lowest places, so what's changed since your last breakup? Tell everyone here at LS what you've done to change your life, what goals you've achieved, and how you are a better person. If you want, also list things you have yet to achieve but would like to.

 

I'll go first:

 

9 months since breakup, 5 months NC.

 

 

  • I'd like to start by saying that since my last breakup, I've relocated back to my hometown, and I landed a great job in my field that pays a lot more than any job I've ever had before!
  • I've finally gotten active and joined a gym. I've been going for a few weeks now, and I love the feeling I get after a workout! The hardest/first step is taken. I'm also playing golf and tennis in my free time, getting some fresh air and beautiful sun!
  • I have quit smoking and haven't had a single drag since the beginning of April. Cold turkey!
  • I've reconnected with some old friends that I haven't talked to in years, especially my big cousin who I golf with a few times a month.

 

There are a few things I'd like to accomplish yet though:

-Increase my gym activity and get into better shape, and lose weight.

-Rid myself of all of my hateful thoughts of my ex.

-Make more friends.

-Be happier with my life in general.

-Buy myself a dream car.

motive2002 Established Member

motive2002

Posted
Posted

I'm still a work in progress.

So far I've managed to quit playing World of Warcraft, take more time to read, get therapy, exercise a little and concentrate on my job more.

 

GOOD JOB ON YOUR QUIT by the way!!!! That is something to celebrate. Another thing on my own personal list I need to do.

 

 

Oh and I shaved my head. Hehe.

hoping2heal Established Member

hoping2heal

Posted
Posted

Hmmmm..it's been about..13 months or so.

 

I've undergone a lot of changes, but I have to say it wasn't my ex that inspired any of them. To be honest, ,a lot of the positive changes I've made were inspired after meeting and knowing my current partner. :o .

 

I think that speaks in and of itself.

 

*I've surfaced BIG TIME in therapy regarding my sexual abuse, I sought help BEFORE I met my current partner, but it was after meeting him that I grew the most in therapy.

 

*I've learned how to stop using some of my negative defense mechanisms, and let the real me shine through

 

*I've become someone I like, someone I can feel good about.

 

*I feel cared about and I'm learning the right way to care for another person. :love:

 

I've grown a lot, I'm a complete different person since my ex. I've moved on, and later on found someone who suits me much better than my ex. Again, I don't really think any of the positives happened out of a determination to show up my ex, but I've definately grown a lot and feel good about how far I've come, and feel lucky I have someone so wonderful that inspires me to be a better me :love: . I can say that it wasn't the case with my ex.

siriusmatt New Member

siriusmatt

Posted
Posted

It's been about two months for me. It wasn't a very bad breakup (still friends; blah, blah), but I decided that it was time to make some solid changes in my life.

  • I've started going to drafting school. College and I parted ways a few years back and I have really been without direction since then. Finally I got off my butt signed up for class. I've found that drafting is something I really have an aptitude for and I've been burning through the coursework like a madman. It's just a little further to go, but soon I will have a bankable skill and a real career.

  • I've made some BIG changes with the way I eat. Used to be, I would have fast food every day, never really thought much about what I ate. In these past couple months I've learned how to feed myself and how to exercise. I've been keeping track of what I've been eating and sticking to a calorie goal. So far, I've lost about 12 lbs. and counting. 20 more to go and I've reached my goal.

  • I've cut back the drinking a lot. I still do drink regularly, but I really don't drink myself stupid like I used to. I stop at one now instead of five :p (the fitness stuff played a big factor in that, I had no idea that alcohol was so high in calories)

I'm finding more and more that success breeds success. When you get some wins going for you, you believe in yourself, and you start to take on even bigger things.

 

OP, congrats on quitting smoking, that's gonna be the next big hurdle for me.

leftyright1 Member

leftyright1

Posted
Posted

It will be 1 year later in July. I've learned the following things:

 

- I still have issues w/ my self appearance and esteem. These were brought to the forefront when I was broken up with and greatly increased the pain I was feeling. I am dating someone else now but still realize these thoughts are lurking in the background. I am taking steps to try and work on how to combat and deal with it so they don't sabotage this relationship and/or if we ever break up

 

- I was able to devote much more time to improving my financial success @ work

 

- My time at the gym went up and I got into a good routine of fitness that I still follow now

 

- I slowly realized all of the events in our lives - pain, joy, boredom, love, hate, etc... all have a part in our lives and the sooner you accept that and believe this, the easier it was for me to live in the moment and enjoy the PROCESS of getting out of a break up for what it is - an opportunity to enjoy many other facets of life and gain perspective

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted

10 months since my breakup -- 2 more months of my single year. :bunny:

 

The most important progress I've made has been around finding and maintaining my own happiness alone, without a romantic partner. I have nurtured my friendships, business relationships, and family relationships, and I have learned what my habits and tendencies are without the influence of a man in my life.

 

It has been invaluable.

kizik Established Member

kizik

Posted
Posted

It's been over a year since my breakup. The best thing I've learned is how to be wholly comfortable spending time with myself. Once you've achieved security alone, everything/everyone else is just icing on the cake. You don't need them, but it sure is fun to have them.

sugarmomma Established Member

sugarmomma

Posted
Posted

  • I have truly started to love and accept me for who I am (flaws and all)
  • I am more aware of what I want and need from a potential mate
  • I realize that another person cannot make me happy. They can only enhance what I already have inside
  • I have just stayed focused on me and becoming the amazing person that I want to be and attract the next time around.
  • Learned how to enjoy the company of myself. (huge)
  • Have forgiven all the people in my life that I needed to (xh too)
  • :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

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