Bayern Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I'd say after a few chats with her just ask her to get a cup of coffee or lunch. What's the worst that can happen? You're leaving in a few months anyway. It's like a get out of jail free pass. And I don't think the age thing matters much in this case. It's whether you can take an older woman.
tkgirl Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 The only real questions you asked is.. If age was important and irrelevant. So Like I stated... but you did not want to hear... I think in this case it is important. And how to get to know her better... and I stated I don't think you have much of a chance - given the entire situation. It's a forum.. get used to opinions and views. dreamer is just being realistic. The feelings you describe are those of fantasy.. after only a few times of talking with someone and you are losing sleep over it? You do not know this lady at all... rather you are "in love" with the fantasy of who you want her to be. It happens but it's best to be aware of it as it can end tragically for you. But that's just my opinion!
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I'm generally all for May-December romances. I've been Mr. May twice and have no regrets about either time. However, what you're looking to get into is not a typical M-D romance. As you mentioned, she's already getting flak for not having a family yet. If she's seen around town with you by any other co-workers, she's going to get it even worse (i.e. "cradle robbing"). However, a part that may affect you even more is the fact that she works in HR. The expression "don't s**t where you eat" strongly applies here. You're young enough that you probably can't afford to burn any corporate bridges yet. So you have to make sure that she's completely happy, even during the breakup (which is next to impossible). When a potential employer calls for a reference, many times they wind up talking with somebody in HR. Do you really want to risk what she might say? If you were sticking around and were looking at something long-term, it would be worth considering. But you're not, so my recommendation is to just let this one go.
Author sea Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 sea, I'm confused. Is this the woman that interviewed you? She was just there with the superviser, the superviser was doing most of the interview while she just give some information and asked if I have any questions. Bayern, that is what I am planning to do but instead of going for lunch together or whatever, I will just ask her out because I get different shift each week, and mostly don't see her. The feelings I described were probably just lust, but I never felt the same about any other older women. I know almost all of you consider the age difference to to be the critical element, to be honest I didn't think it is possible to because she could out right rejected for so many reasons like Bejita said, and I don't even know if shes single because all the observations tell me she is single but I still need confirmation. After that I will just ask her out one way of another... it is worth a try
dreamergrl Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Why people come looking for advice when they don't want it is beyond me.
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Why people come looking for advice when they don't want it is beyond me. Because most people come on here with an idea in their head already and just need help figuring out how to implement it. The problem arises when the rest of us back up a step to the idea itself and examine that first, which is what we're doing here. Sea appears to be looking for advice on how to advance relations with this woman, while we're all telling him "don't pursue her at all". He's looking at the situation from a different point in the process than we are. We can't figure out why he's jumping ahead and at the same time, he can't figure out why we're backtracking. Most people do that; it's understandable. They've had time to examine the situation to a point where they feel ready to act while the rest of us are just examining the situation for the first time. Sometimes that means that the OP has seen or heard signals that can't be translated into words, and (more often than not) we have an impartial view, and thus an insight that the OP doesn't. Very few people like to be told that not only is their plan flawed, but the idea itself may be as well. So, against all advice to the contrary, they charge onward. Admittedly, I am quite often the same way.
samspade Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Yo OP, Just ask her out and see what happens. You don't need to worry about an age difference unless it bothers YOU. SS
dreamergrl Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I'm like that to a point, but I'm willing to listen to other advice, not get upset over it because it's not the answers I want to hear.
Author sea Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 Because most people come on here with an idea in their head already and just need help figuring out how to implement it. The problem arises when the rest of us back up a step to the idea itself and examine that first, which is what we're doing here. Sea appears to be looking for advice on how to advance relations with this woman, while we're all telling him "don't pursue her at all". He's looking at the situation from a different point in the process than we are. We can't figure out why he's jumping ahead and at the same time, he can't figure out why we're backtracking. Most people do that; it's understandable. They've had time to examine the situation to a point where they feel ready to act while the rest of us are just examining the situation for the first time. Sometimes that means that the OP has seen or heard signals that can't be translated into words, and (more often than not) we have an impartial view, and thus an insight that the OP doesn't. Very few people like to be told that not only is their plan flawed, but the idea itself may be as well. So, against all advice to the contrary, they charge onward. Admittedly, I am quite often the same way. I'm like that to a point, but I'm willing to listen to other advice, not get upset over it because it's not the answers I want to hear. I understand both of you, and I do appreciate what you said in this long explanation, it makes alot of sense from my point of view and for someone like dreamgirl. For me, I have this mentality of " taking a chance", "trying", for all I know it could turn out as what dreamgirl said: not working out; I am not denying it as I feel the same way when I had the thought in the very beginning. But as long as I tried and it doesn't work out, then I will have no regrets. It would be really unwise just to let something like pass, if I let this pass, then it just send a message that just give up on everything before I even try, then I would be a sore loser and hopeless.
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 99.5% of the time, I agree with you, and if I were in your position right now, this would probably be one of those times I'd do the same thing. I would much rather regret the things I did do than the things I didn't do. The question you have to ask, though, is "is the risk worth the reward?" As I previously mentioned, my only concern is the possibility of a woman scorned being the one to talk to your (potential) future employers. That's the one big drawback I see in this. This could screw you hard in the near future (in the bad way). The age - hey, that's nothing. EVERY guy in his 20's should date an older girl at least once. The older girls aren't as clingy, they're not looking for you to support them and be their knight in shining armour, and they don't go nearly as loco when you need some time to hang with the guys. Plus, they're about ten levels lower on the Sexual Inhibitions scale, and can show you (or are at least willing to try) things you've only read about in Dear Penthouse. Remember, according to the scientists, she's right at her sexual peak now! She's got her own list of concerns and complications, but that's up to her to decide the seriousness of them, not you. Be aware of them (so you may possibly overcome them), but it's up to her to declare them as fatal. If she doesn't, then congrats! As James Earl Jones once said, "four words: watch your back, Jack."
Bayern Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Why people come looking for advice when they don't want it is beyond me. Because your opinions on their situations are a little strong.
dreamergrl Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Because your opinions on their situations are a little strong. I'm not the only one who thought it.
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