Jenksz Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 I've been having a significant dating issue for about a month and a half and I'm curious as to what opinions people on Loveshack have on this issue. I'm going into first year university come September. I decided to join a couple facebook groups to try and get familiar with some people in advance. In doing so I started talking to this girl, who I eventually met up with at one of the orientation days at the university. She lives about an hour away, and shes come to visit me here in the city. We're semi going out now as she plans on visiting me occasionally until the start of school in September. I like this girl alot, shes gorgeous, has a great, positive and bubbly personality, everything I could ask for. Thing is, whenever I ask others about her they say to just be friends. Theres a couple factors leading towards this opinion. First, going into university theres supposed to be boundless options in women, by going into university with a girlfriend the common consensus is that your closing alot of doors. Thats something thats really troubling me because I think I have a case of, "oneitis", when you feel a certain girl is uniqie, and no one else in the world is like her. I guess Im worried there wont be someone else like her at school once I get there. Second, we've spent a total of about 3 days face to face with each other, despite which she's told me she loves me. Third, she has a lot of financial issues, and family issues. Shes barely financing her way through school and her parents and her are constantly arguing. However, she has a strong character and wants to go to law school, I keep thinking that this strong character supercedes the problems she has, but cosntantly being around someone with problems puts a weight on your shoulders as well. Fourth, family pressure. Although I know my family would support me no matter what, I have some pressure from them. Shes not Jewish, I am (albeit not religious at all). Fifth, Im having an issue on what to actually say. I hinted at just being friends the other day while on the phone with her, she broke down crying. Im also taking a class with her in September, and although I dont want things to be awkward between us, Im not sure if being friends is an issue do to my third point above (negative issues bing down others around you regardless of the persons personality). Sixth, she took my virginity, I dont know if this results in some subconscious attachment but I thought it may play a part in me having issues with letting her go. Just wanted to put it out there. Any tips, advice, help, or comment would be greatly appreciated. If you have any questions regarding clarity, feel free to ask.
torranceshipman Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 If you like the girl and she is gorgeous, bubble and thinks you are the business....then I'd stick with her! You're lucky. Plus not only is she gorgeous but she has a strong head on her shoulders - pretty impressive. What are you going to do when these people telling you to be single (because of all the girls) end up getting girls themselves? You'll be like...what! And you'll have lost this lovely girl. Why don't you go out with her, and after a while if it isn't cool and you'd rather be single, then split, but if I were you I wouldn't just bail, and dismiss it out of hand. Especially not if that decision is based largely on what other people say!
loveslife Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 It sounds to me like this girl comes with a lot of baggage and your friends are looking out for you. Unless you think they have a motive other than your best interests? I think you've already made up your mind actually. You've already tried to hint to her that you should be just friends but she's emotionally blackmailing you with tears and having taken your virginity. It's obviously up to you but my impression is you've already made your decision and you just want someone to confirm it.
dreamergrl Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 I think you need to figure out what it is exactly what you want, and then talk to her about it. You are sure yet, so don't bring up the friends thing again until you know that's what you want. I also think you should sit and figure this out soon, as this girl is probably wondering what is up. Also, if you do want to be with her, then be with her.
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