asuman Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 It's been about 8-9 days since she dumped me. I went into immediate NC mode and haven't wavered since. In the first several days, I had a stress and anxiety level that I could literally feel inside my chest. I don't know how to describe it. It was the kind of stress you feel when you're really nervous in anticipation of something. It basically just hurt. I was also listening to the same depressing song over and over again, constantly. A song I picked out\ that I felt represented the way things happened between me and her. ("Challengers" by the New Pornographers, if you're curious; the video also reminded me of the way we kissed each other, to make things worse: ). As of today, I can truthfully say: although I still go through the same emotions as a week ago, that stress level I felt in my chest is just gone. I got sick of "Challengers" and don't listen to it anymore. Physically and mentally, life has already gotten a lot better. I'm not by any means out of the woods. I have to admit that somehow I still flirt with the idea of going for a second chance at some point. I know this is wrong, and I'll continue to struggle to banish such thoughts from my head. It's the ultimate paradox as I've discussed on this forum before: You can't actually have a shot at a second chance unless you truly get over her, but you can't truly get over her if you're aspiring toward a second chance. I'll work on this, but in the meantime, I can tell you that going NC has given me strength I wouldn't otherwise have to try and move on and force myself to forget this girl.
Thomas X Forever Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 Good, I hope you succeed. You're about one of the only few people on this board I care about
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