shunter Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 I am in a five year relationship that is very healthy, but stale -- boring. it really should not have gone this far, but she is such a good friend I have found someone else. I need to think long-term and this is new person is who i want to be with twenty years from now. how do you end a relationship (we live together) cleanly and with as little pain as possible? i dont want to string her along but i cant end it. help
TaraMaiden Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 Your post is brief and to the point. So is my reply, then: You sit her down, you tell her you've met someone else, and that you'd like to end the relationship. It's actually the least hurtful way you could do it. Better than stringing it along and going behind her back. Painful? Yes, of course, always. But honesty hurts a lot less than deceit, maintains and preserves both your dignity and hurts for less time. Just grab the bull by the horns - and do it. Once it's done, it's done. Good luck.
jph26 Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 As mentioned previously honesty is the best approach for this. Your partner might not like hearing it at the time but it is much better than being lied too. Hopefully they will respect your reasoning. One thing not to do however is to offer any hope for your partner that things can be rescued. Even if they say things like 'Maybe we can see in a couple of months/years' you need to emphasize that you don't see a future (as harsh as it may sound). Make sure it is a clean break-up leaving no open-ends. This will be better for both of you in the long run and help in getting over each other.
Author shunter Posted July 1, 2009 Author Posted July 1, 2009 You sit her down, you tell her you've met someone else, and that you'd like to end the relationship. It's actually the least hurtful way you could do it. Better than stringing it along and going behind her back. I couldnt do it although you said exactly what needed to be done. But you gave me the motivation to make the move. thank you for that I did break it off, but i couldnt tell her that I have met someone else. That is just too cruel. I tried but I couldnt.. i cant, sorry, its tough. She keeps asking if i found someone else (and i know if i say yes she will just go crazy). I am sooo sad to see her in pain, this really sucks. She calls a lot as expected and wants to talk and see if we can make amends, this is all normal I guess. I dont know what to do. What do I do now?? Just be polite?? this is really terrible
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