missdependant Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 I've been struggling with some issues with my boyfriend. I don't want to go into huge details, just say that we can't seem to get on the same page about certain things. I don't know if I have cold feet, but there are just some things that have gotten SO frustrating to me that I can't stand it, and some things that really make me doubt my boyfriend's parenting abilities. He has not been as supportive as I'd like him to be while pregnant. (Right now for example, he's out getting wasted, and like a dumbass, he's probably going to drive home from the bars). Anyway, I'm looking for opinions or advice on single parenting and also how to go about a breakup while I'm 7 months pregnant. I don't need advice on whether or not I should leave this man, because I have already made up my mind that this is what I am doing. His family has been very helpful and supportive, but he has not. I'm not going to stop him from seeing his daughter when she gets here, obviously.. but I don't want to share my space with him, I don't have romantic feelings for him anymore, I'm sick of how selfish he has been. He has been uninvolved in my pregnancy, throws a fit whenever I buy something for the baby, but I'm supposed to be happy when he buys himself something like the latest model of the Iphone; he gets mad at the fact that I don't enjoy myself at parties or bars anymore. I'm sorry, I just don't find it fun to have a bunch of drunk people bumping into me and spilling beer all over me, trying to have slurred conversations with me, etc., etc.. So, I've finally decided that I am leaving this man.. I don't have much in the way of family.. advice would be great.
asuman Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 Are you in the US? If so, you're entitled to child support payments from him if you have primary custody. I strongly urge you not to ignore this and let him shirk his financial responsibilities. You would have to file a petition to establish child custody and child support in the local courthouse of where you live. You can go down to the courthouse and there may be packets there to help you with instructions on how to fill the petitions out. It's likely that once you do so, the court will grant some sort of joint custody arrangement where you have primary custody but he gets visitation, or something like that.
desertsun09 Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 Reminds me of the character Earl from "Waitress" - the movie. You need to watch that!
Author missdependant Posted June 29, 2009 Author Posted June 29, 2009 Yes, I live in the US. One issue I am wondering about is how child support will work if we each live in a different state? I do not have a huge support system in Colorado. I came out here for school a few years ago and now I am done with that. Most of my support is in Arizona, and this is likely where I will end up. Is it more difficult to collect on child support if you're in two different states or is it any different than if I were to stay in the same state as him? I wouldn't stop him from getting to know his child. I just don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore, in fact I want nothing to do with him until she is born.
asuman Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 When are you moving to Arizona? I assume he lives in Colorado? Depending on when you're moving to Arizona, you may want to consider holding off on filing for child support until you move to that state. It may be harder for you to leave Colorado if you file in Colorado, because courts generally don't like long-distance situations. If you file in Arizona, you will have already moved and the Arizona court will have less of a problem with you being in its own jurisdiction. It is probably a bit more difficult to collect child support when he's not in the same state, but not enough to impact your decision on where to live. If he's not going to pay up, you will have to be aggressive in pursuing your rights whether you live in CO or AZ. The states do cooperate with one another in going after deadbeats.
RosyDay Posted July 3, 2009 Posted July 3, 2009 wow you sound really strong and that you know what you are doing...great. I would check and see if there are any support groups for single mothers. Do some research on the internet and check clubs, and groups in your yellow pages to see if there is some kind of support group. You may also call your local hospital to see if there is a support group from pregnant mothers. Social services may be able to give you that info too. I think it would be nice to get emotional support from other single mothers. You can also see if there are any online clubs. Yahoo groups may have something for pregnant single mothers or single mothers. I know what it's like to date someone who is abnormally selfish. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It seems like extreme selfishness and immaturity go hand in hand.
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