sedona Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Had an argument with my BF of 1 year, really for the first time. He's a very social, active person with the result that he does lots of things with lots of people -- which is also necessary because of his work. I never know what and where, and was especially upset today because things I had planned to do with him (to which he had agreed) fell through because he ended up doing other things. Anyway, in the course of our "discussion," he said some things which upset me even more and I can't get out of my head. We didn't resolve anything when we were talking either, so I feel that the original issue is still there. I feel that he misunderstood what I was trying to express, and thinks I'm upset about his doing so many things- which I'm not. What I'm upset about is the lack of communication that leads to stupid situations like this. What I want to do is sit him down and talk this through - right now -- but I would guess that now isn't the right time because I'd act way too upset (can't help it at the moment). Then another side of me wants to be spiteful- the "if that's what he thinks, then fine - I don't need this crap" attitude. Childish. And not true either, because this guy is really a keeper. I do plan on talking to him about this at some point in the future - soon-- but in the meantime, how to I get over it and stop going over this conversation in my head?
dreamergrl Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Get busy with other stuff in the meantime. Keep your mind off of it. The less you dwell, the easier it will be to calm down. Go hang out with a friend, or do something you love!
You'reasian Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Had an argument with my BF of 1 year, really for the first time. He's a very social, active person with the result that he does lots of things with lots of people -- which is also necessary because of his work I never know what and where, and was especially upset today because things I had planned to do with him (to which he had agreed) fell through because he ended up doing other things. . I'd imagine a guy like this has little time or tolerance for games and other BS. What does he do? Anyway, in the course of our "discussion," he said some things which upset me even more and I can't get out of my head. We didn't resolve anything when we were talking either, so I feel that the original issue is still there. I feel that he misunderstood what I was trying to express, and thinks I'm upset about his doing so many things- which I'm not. What I'm upset about is the lack of communication that leads to stupid situations like this. What I want to do is sit him down and talk this through - right now -- but I would guess that now isn't the right time because I'd act way too upset (can't help it at the moment). Then another side of me wants to be spiteful- the "if that's what he thinks, then fine - I don't need this crap" attitude. Childish. And not true either, because this guy is really a keeper. I do plan on talking to him about this at some point in the future - soon-- but in the meantime, how to I get over it and stop going over this conversation in my head? Make your quality time and quiet time with this guy important. If you try to play games with him, he'll probably shut you out and move on. Be honest and sweet to your guy. He'll take good care of you, if you take good care of him
Author sedona Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 Yes, you're both right- thanks. Don't intend on playing games - they don't help at all. And yes, he's incredibly sweet, to both me and my kids. I just want a relationship that works, where we can talk through problems when they occur. But I had trouble expressing what I wanted to say to him, so I think he tuned out, thinking this was typical "girl" behaviour. I'm not trying to blame him or make him give everything up to be with me, but I don't want this relationship to fossilize into something that will make me unhappy in the long run. Up to now, though, it's been great and I want that to continue. It bothers me that I can explain things like this better to my girlfriends than to him! OK, I will try not to dwell... don't dwell...don't dwell...
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