hartattack Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 My wife and I have been married for 5 yrs now. We have two kids one 3 yr-old and one 3 month. I have been the saver/budget person in the house. My wife is more of a spendthrift. However, I have always believed she has been within budget. She had some budget issues in the past that she has worked hard to fix with some help from me. She re-enlisted in the military for a $16K bonus to help pay off her remaining debt and she was to have over $5k left for savings. I have recently felt as if she has not been completely financially faithful with me. So, I decided to do some snooping in her office for her personal bills. I found 5 accounts outstanding, 3 of which were on the brink of going to collections. (accounts with balances ranging from $15 - $200) She has a low interest loan ($4800) that I hope she got to pay off the other outstanding balances of $550, $1100, and $1700 (w/interest rate of 23%!!). The problem I have is with her telling me that she has been saving money when she clearly hasn't been. I feel as if I've been making the financial sacrifices while she is off playing with her friends on a daily basis. My life revolves around work and home with very little me time. I pinch my pennies to pay the basic monthly bills and to set aside emergency funds, which always end up being spent on car repairs (hers/mine), home repairs, and child medical bills. I have talked to her about this issue in the past and thought it was clarified. We talked about interest rates and how you shouldn't just pay the minimum payment. Don't spend more than you can afford. That kind of stuff, but it doesn't seem to stick for her. There is much more to my frustration with our marriage than with this financial issue. But I am hoping that if I can tackle this issue with her in a peaceful manner, I will be able to work out the other issues. I'm not sure how to bring up the subject without sounding like I blame her for being irresponsible when I already am.
asireen Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 It is a difficult situation. If this is not controlled now, a small debt will turn into a large one and we all know how that will end. I think you have to call a spade a spade and bring up the topic over and over again to the point of annoying her. You will risk arguments and confrontation, in addition to other marital issues. You have 2 young children, and that does give her leverage. If you didnt have children, I would have put divorce as the final option, but not in this situation, till the younger one is 18 years old.
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