wow123 Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I had an interesting conversation with the best friend of an ex. She broke up with me last summer. We both went NC immediately after her telling me there was no chance of us ever getting back together. After about a month she began calling me everyday, I never answered. Her friend told me she started calling me everyday because she heard I was dating someone else and she was upset that she wasn't getting any attention from me. Wow that conversation made me feel better about her dumping me! They do care after they dump you.
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I don't think it's so much about them caring about you after the break up, they just can't accept that you have already moved on and so easily too. It's like a blow to their ego for you to start dating after the break up.
her_halo_slipped Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 They do care after they dump you. Of course we care. As human beings with feelings and emotions we cannot just turn them off like a tap. We hurt even when we do the dumping. We reminice, we think about things over and over again, we do the what if's and if only's. We get sad and emotional and angry. Doesn't matter whether we are dumped or do the dumping, we still care for a time afterwards. how long? That's the million dollar Q. Let me pose the same Q and ask the men to answer. Do you guys care after you dump us? Therein lies your answer.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Of course we care. As human beings with feelings and emotions we cannot just turn them off like a tap. We hurt even when we do the dumping. We reminice, we think about things over and over again, we do the what if's and if only's. We get sad and emotional and angry. Doesn't matter whether we are dumped or do the dumping, we still care for a time afterwards. how long? That's the million dollar Q. Let me pose the same Q and ask the men to answer. Do you guys care after you dump us? Therein lies your answer. Yeah we do. Alot of guys try to mask those feelings of care with random sex for the night, or liquor and drugs. But the feelings are still there.
Lyssa Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Of course we care. As human beings with feelings and emotions we cannot just turn them off like a tap. We hurt even when we do the dumping. True but mostly for those who keep calling back esp after knowing that the ex they dumped has moved on, it's only because they hate that their ex-es have started a new life. It's from what I've experienced and seen happening to my friends. One of my ex-es kept calling me back over and over again when he found out I was seeing someone new. Even took the trouble to come and see me to ask me back - said he was wrong to dump me etc.. ppffttt - it was all because I have moved on onto someone better.
Author wow123 Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 I have only been the dumper in 2 serious relationships. The other 2 dumped me. I felt horrible dumping one because she was great. The other cheated on me so it actually felt great to dump and ignore her. Yes guys have feelings too. But we let very few people know how we are feeling.
asuman Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Of course we care. As human beings with feelings and emotions we cannot just turn them off like a tap. We hurt even when we do the dumping. We reminice, we think about things over and over again, we do the what if's and if only's. We get sad and emotional and angry. Doesn't matter whether we are dumped or do the dumping, we still care for a time afterwards. how long? That's the million dollar Q. Let me pose the same Q and ask the men to answer. Do you guys care after you dump us? Therein lies your answer. In one relationship where I dumped her, there was nothing she could have done to win me back. She did try, in a dignified and cool way I'd say. A few days after we broke up she met with me, and just plainly asked me, "Do you think there's any way we could figure out a way to make this work?" I just told her honestly, "No, I don't think there is." She then left and I didn't hear from her for a long time. During the interim, I felt very guilty and went through a whole emotional cycle of my own, but that didn't change my mind. After a long period of time, we got in contact again and became friends. We're still friends today, years later.
SBG04 Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Yes guys have feelings too. But we let very few people know how we are feeling. I concur. Well put.
boogieboy Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I find it hard to believe that my ex "cares" about me, when she only texts to make sure I havent moved on. She texts to make sure Im still pining for her. Thats for her ego only, she doesnt care about me. When she texted it ended after she asked "what are you up to?" She didnt care what I said after that because usually she didnt respond. Sometimes she texts me "R U home?" She asks this when shes on her way back home from her bf house, is my guess. She wants to check to make sure i will invite her over at her whim. I dont know whether or not she would actually come over, but she isnt asking to try again, so I ignored her. A co-worker who worked with my ex told me about something she used to do (before me) that I realized was strange. She used to show him pics of her ex and say "this is the ex thats stalking me". So if my ex was keeping THAT guy hanging on, it def was an ego boost. She didnt care about him, just like she doesnt care about me. She had no friends except her twin sister, so her self esteem needed boosting. Unbelieveably pathetic.
I_Wonder Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 i seriously doubt my ex cares about me. after i found out about his little affair he was the one that insisted on NC and started acting like i didn't even exist. It really threw me off. After a four year relationship and him crying about not being able to imagine life without me he started acting like a complete a$$ when i found out about his 6-7 month affair. i don't understand guys and i guess i never will. he had/still has me totally confused!
her_halo_slipped Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 In one relationship where I dumped her, there was nothing she could have done to win me back. She did try, in a dignified and cool way I'd say. A few days after we broke up she met with me, and just plainly asked me, "Do you think there's any way we could figure out a way to make this work?" I just told her honestly, "No, I don't think there is." She then left and I didn't hear from her for a long time. During the interim, I felt very guilty and went through a whole emotional cycle of my own, but that didn't change my mind. After a long period of time, we got in contact again and became friends. We're still friends today, years later. WOW there's something powerful about the honesty you both shared. I love her line" Do you think there's any way we could figure out a way to make this work?" I may even use that myself one day. What a great way to get to the bottom of things in a caring, non confrontational manner. Very dignified. And full marks to you for being so honest. Your story although proabably hurtful at the time has a happy ending. It is an inspiration.So many people rule out the notion of ever being friends after a relationship fails. I am a believer and you are proof my hope is not wanton.
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