mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 My ex and I broke up just two and a half weeks ago, NC for about 5 days now. We were together for 13 months. The relationship was pretty heavily invested in with emotions from both sides. She left me claiming that my insecurities had pushed her away although she had some pretty bad insecurity issues herself. It hasn't been so hard now. The heartache and the crying have stopped. I've finally been eating and I've been learning how to smile and have fun without her around again. The only problems I face now are the weekends. Friday night, and yesterday, before going to bed, I sit for about 20 minutes wondering what she's up to that night. The questions start rolling in. Does she miss me? Is she thinking about me right now? Is she getting floored at the club with some random guy? Is she horny? Is she going to think about me when she's horny? Is she going to find an outlet for that horniness? The reality of it is two things. She isn't the type to just monkey branch from guy to guy, and she isn't the type to give her body out to a guy she doesn't even know. But most importantly, I do not know what she's up to. I don't want to know. But I still end up with these questions in my head. One thing I would of never thought to happen was learning to trust again from this breakup. It may have cost me my ex, but even through this breakup, not being around her, not knowing what she's doing or who she's with or talking to or hanging out with or any of that ****, it doesn't bother me anymore. For a 13 months, I knew my GF best, and I know that right now she isn't over me, or with another guy, or getting freaky with another guy. I just have that trust in her judgement now. I wish I did before, but hey, you can't win em all right? Alot of people who know me keep telling me she's coming back. But I last spoke to her on the phone Tuesday, and from the sound of it, I don't think she is. I wouldn't expect her to. But I know that if she did, I would definitely want to make things work with her. Right now my Dad is going through some health issues, and I don't know whether to contact her and let her know, or to just leave it be for a month. Everyone keeps saying, just do your own thing for a month and she'll hit you up. Or that I should hit her up and see what she's been up to. But I don't want to use NC in hopes of her coming back, so I've been feeding myself the grim reality of the situation, she isn't coming back. At the end of the day I'll never know. Only she will. She's only gone back to one of her boyfriends after they broke up, and he cheated on her and sent her to therapy. Maybe after a couple months when she's had time to think and cool off, she'll hit me up out of curiosity. We always did say that if we broke up we'd stay in touch. All I know is, that right now I need to move on, and make important changes to my self. I've been buying new clothes, working out, hanging out with friends. I've actually got a road trip to UF for the 4th of July weekend planned. Gonna party hard. Things are slowly looking up, but man would I love to have her back, for one night, so I can show her that I am, can, and will, be that better man. I just wonder if she misses me.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 The wondering if she's already got another guy, or if she doesn't miss me is what really sticks around in my mind. I wonder if she only remembers all the bad things in the relationship, or if she reminisces over all the good things we shared you know?
huck Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Hi Mr Dream... I went through the same thoughts right after my split... I found if I was doing nought on the weekend - my mind would wander to wether my ex was hooking up with other guys or basically having more fun than me.. At the time I forced myself to go out and enjoy myself... - which looking at your post is what you seem to be doing.. Go out and keep yourself busy - have a laugh and a drink with your buds - focus on YOU... Those thoughts will eventually fade... I still think about her - but now I couldnt give a toss if shes making out with someone... She might miss you/she might not - dont contact her... If she wants to make contact with you - you can cross that bridge at the time.. Good luck Mate... Huck...
Exit Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 Yes they miss you, but yes, they are out having fun with other people. Might as well not make yourself miserable thinking about it. Women are better at appearing cold, they generally aren't the ones to send texts "I miss you", "I'm thinking about you", but of course there are things out there that remind them of you, just like you think about them during the day. If you have confidence that she isn't out sleeping around, then good. I have to tell myself the same about my GF, I know she's far from "easy" and her entire life has only been in serious relationships, I shouldn't start freaking out when I hear that she went out with friends. Leave her alone for a month. She isn't your companion right now and doesn't need to know about your father's health issues. A month may sound long right now but keep busy and it will go by quickly. If you haven't heard from her by then, you can initiate a little bit of contact, ask how she's been doing, tell her that you went out for the 4th of July, tell her about your dad, whatever. Or maybe in 30 days you'll realize that you're better off without her. There's really no point making decisions now about what you're going to do in a month. Play it by ear. Leave her alone for now. If you make it a month and still have the urge to talk to her, then make a decision.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 Yeah, that month sure does seem pretty long lol. I'm pretty confident that nothing drastic is going to happen in a month. But even if it does, if she wants to reconcile after that month, I don't care what she's done. As long as she's healthy, no STD's, and willing to make an effort, I will gladly take her back.
Exit Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I know it seems long. But if you continue to call her and bother her, and don't make any progress, eventually a month will go by and you'll think to yourself "damn, that didn't take that long, I probably could have left her alone if I tried", and then you'll regret it. I'll probably be sitting home alone on July 4th wondering who my ex is celebrating with, be glad that you have plans to go out and have fun.
NopeNah Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 I'll probably be sitting home alone on July 4th wondering who my ex is celebrating with, be glad that you have plans to go out and have fun. Why would you want to do that? get out there and party with your friends! Blow some stuff up!
Author mr.dream merchant Posted June 28, 2009 Author Posted June 28, 2009 I know it seems long. But if you continue to call her and bother her, and don't make any progress, eventually a month will go by and you'll think to yourself "damn, that didn't take that long, I probably could have left her alone if I tried", and then you'll regret it. I'll probably be sitting home alone on July 4th wondering who my ex is celebrating with, be glad that you have plans to go out and have fun. Yeah man, I know that when I try to contact her and she doesn't respond, it murders me all over again. I'm talking like pain similar to day one. I just can't put myself through that anymore. And yeah, why are you not celebrating July 4th? Come out to Gainesville with me! Haha. I'm going to be floored!
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