mortensorchid Posted June 28, 2009 Posted June 28, 2009 This seems rather odd to me, as most of my friends these days seem to want to fix me up with others, then flake out on it. The other week, I was at a bar. I bump into a gal who is a friend of a friend, she asks me if I had a boyfriend, because she never sees me with any guys. I said no I didn't. She asked if I wanted to come with her to some party next week and introduce me to someone. I said "Oh ok, sure." She gave me her number. I sent her a text asking if she was going to that party she talked about. No response. Haven't seen or heard from her since. The other day, I was at a party at a friend's house talking to the next door neighbor of my old boyfriend and his wife. He said he showed some photos of him and me taken at a costume party the other week, his friend asked who I was. He said his relationship is ending and he wants to start another. He said "He's short and fat, I don't know if you're into that." I don't know how one can be "into" short and fat. I said "Well, if he really wants to, I wouldn't be opposed." I asked who he was, or if I knew him. He said I might have, he'd send me a link to his MySpace page. Nothing. Kinda weird? Did I do something wrong here?
AliBel Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 No, you didn't do anything wrong. What probably happened was that the people who were trying to set you up, asked the person they were trying to set you up with, and that person didn't want to be set up. Some people are too shy or proud and don't like the whole "being set up" thing. It has nothing to do with you, because the potential matches didn't even know you. Also, sometimes (and this has happened to me), someone will try to set you up with someone without knowing that the other person is actually dating someone else. In this case, its the mutual friend that's "at fault". Don't sweat it. These things happen.
ON MY OWN Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 I agree with AliBel. I have had one what we will call "setup" in my life and it lasted almost 4 years. It was neons ago. Things were all so simple then. However, I do consider it lucky. Maybe if someone suggests this again just say you would be interested in meeting this person, and to not consider it a setup. The other person doesnt even have to know, just arrange where your both at the same location at the same time and just see what happens naturally. Setups IMO are way too pressured for both plus the cupid person. This way it takes the pressure off. Try that and let us know how that works for you. I have no desire for any extra pressure, there are already enough of those in life without adding to the list, LOL. I think if you try this approach it will be much more laid back for you.
carhill Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 Another perspective is that this is how some people make small talk. Not my particular brand of showing interest in a person, but, for some people, it makes them seem more important and facilitative. Now, if the people involved had been good friends and made the same statements with no follow-up, I'd be wondering about the status of the friendship. As it is, I'd suggest seeing it as mindless talk in a social setting
icepop Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 The other day, I was at a party at a friend's house talking to the next door neighbor of my old boyfriend and his wife. He said he showed some photos of him and me taken at a costume party the other week, his friend asked who I was. He said his relationship is ending and he wants to start another. He said "He's short and fat, I don't know if you're into that." I don't know how one can be "into" short and fat. I said "Well, if he really wants to, I wouldn't be opposed." I asked who he was, or if I knew him. Kinda weird? Did I do something wrong here? Wouldn't you want to avoid someone who says they are ending one relationship and then say they want to start another, regardless of whether they are your " type " or not ? You're not a piece of meat are you ? Arrange your own hook-ups when you get to see or meet them that isn't under contrived conditions, such as your friends have suggested.
icepop Posted July 1, 2009 Posted July 1, 2009 The other day, I was at a party at a friend's house talking to the next door neighbor of my old boyfriend and his wife. He said he showed some photos of him and me taken at a costume party the other week, his friend asked who I was. He said his relationship is ending and he wants to start another. He said "He's short and fat, I don't know if you're into that." I don't know how one can be "into" short and fat. I said "Well, if he really wants to, I wouldn't be opposed." I asked who he was, or if I knew him. Kinda weird? Did I do something wrong here? Wouldn't you want to avoid someone who says they are ending one relationship and then say they want to start another, regardless of whether they are your " type " or not ? You're not a piece of meat are you ? Arrange your own hook-ups when you get to see or meet them that isn't under contrived conditions, such as your friends have suggested.
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